Forbidden Love
Erotic poem ( Clean) 89 words16 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a fantastic poem, Christine. Right on the money for those who are in this situation==stolen moments to be alone together. Clear, well written and well rhymed. Marilyn
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2017
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This is a fantastic poem, Christine. Right on the money for those who are in this situation==stolen moments to be alone together. Clear, well written and well rhymed. Marilyn
Comment Written 17-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2017
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Hi Marilyn Thanks so much for your wonderful review and rating a sixer. It was fun to think this one up for this contest and didn't do to bad either so I was pleased. Many Cheers As always Christine
Comment from Ogden
Good, clean-worded dirty thoughts of shameful behavior. (Perhaps the other two are engaging in similar under-table activity?)
The last line bottoms it off very well.
Good luck in the contest.
Don (aka Ogden)
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
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Good, clean-worded dirty thoughts of shameful behavior. (Perhaps the other two are engaging in similar under-table activity?)
The last line bottoms it off very well.
Good luck in the contest.
Don (aka Ogden)
Comment Written 29-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
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Hi Don Thanks very much for reviewing my poem ,Yes perhaps they were. Ha Ha ,Sorry for delay in response .Technically got second but it was winner takes all so I was pleased to be up there. Cheers Christine
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Or down there? You are most welcome, shameful Christine.
Don
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your erotic poem Forbidden Love". You followed all the rules for this genre and you rhymed it well. It was clean but naughty.
All the best.
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
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I enjoyed reading your erotic poem Forbidden Love". You followed all the rules for this genre and you rhymed it well. It was clean but naughty.
All the best.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
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Hi Marybell, Thanks again for reading my work a little different this time Ha Ha. All in my imagination though . Sorry for delay in responding bit I do appreciate your reviews Cheers Christine
Comment from LIJ Red
Careful, woman. You may fool that wife but not for long. Then, Katie, bar the door.
Your hubby knows, but has skeletons in his own closet. Excellent response to the prompt.
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Careful, woman. You may fool that wife but not for long. Then, Katie, bar the door.
Your hubby knows, but has skeletons in his own closet. Excellent response to the prompt.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
Comment from robyn corum
To steal a kiss before this night is through
My hunger at this table is for you
YOWZER! I think your poem is about as clear as we need it to be... 'nuff said, if you know what I mean. *smile* Poor husband and wife, left clueless. Loved, loved the above lines. Good luck!
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To steal a kiss before this night is through
My hunger at this table is for you
YOWZER! I think your poem is about as clear as we need it to be... 'nuff said, if you know what I mean. *smile* Poor husband and wife, left clueless. Loved, loved the above lines. Good luck!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
Comment from clsandau
This is a great (clean) erotic poem. I love all the rhyming, very well done. Also like the set up and the colors you have chosen, fits your poem for sure. Actually, it did send shivers up my spine just reading it and I've been married a long time. Shows what imagination can do, I guess. Good luck to you in the contest. Carol
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This is a great (clean) erotic poem. I love all the rhyming, very well done. Also like the set up and the colors you have chosen, fits your poem for sure. Actually, it did send shivers up my spine just reading it and I've been married a long time. Shows what imagination can do, I guess. Good luck to you in the contest. Carol
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
Comment from B.B. Rose
I have to wonder why you wrote so awkwardly to make your rhyme when proper sentences would have been far more effective and, in the case of your opening lines, achieve perfect pentameter.
Opposite we're seated, take a chance vs We're seated opposite. I take a chance/
Look at you much longer than a glance, vs and look at you much longer than a glance.
And why the semi-colon in the middle of a sentence?
None the less, I have to admit your last line was delicious (so to speak).
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I have to wonder why you wrote so awkwardly to make your rhyme when proper sentences would have been far more effective and, in the case of your opening lines, achieve perfect pentameter.
Opposite we're seated, take a chance vs We're seated opposite. I take a chance/
Look at you much longer than a glance, vs and look at you much longer than a glance.
And why the semi-colon in the middle of a sentence?
None the less, I have to admit your last line was delicious (so to speak).
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi BB Rose, Thanks for reading my poem and for you comments re the structure of this poem I have taken out the semicolon in retrospect it is not need as the line is a whole one and not two statements. Sometime I write with an awkward structure with purpose I hope this does not distract from the essence of my work in this case. I do however appreciate you suggestions and have heeded one. Cheers
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
This is brilliant and clearly the contest winner. I think I went too romantic with mine this is red hot! amazing work well done thi is perfect for the competition kind regards x
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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This is brilliant and clearly the contest winner. I think I went too romantic with mine this is red hot! amazing work well done thi is perfect for the competition kind regards x
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi Meia, Thanks so much for reading my effort for this contest .Wow what a complimemt and your comments are so welcome coming from a superb writer as yourself Good luck to you too Cheers
Comment from jenintorre
I like this erotic(clean) poem. Forbidden fruits and all that. It told a very good story. I wish you lots of luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I like this erotic(clean) poem. Forbidden fruits and all that. It told a very good story. I wish you lots of luck in the competition.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you jenitore. i am pleased to have your commets and thank you for you luck wishes Cheers
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about erotic thoughts about someone who are a forbidden lover while the legitimate spouses are there but completely unaware of the situation.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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A very well-written poem about erotic thoughts about someone who are a forbidden lover while the legitimate spouses are there but completely unaware of the situation.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi Sandra Ha Ha yes makes it all the more exciting. Cheers for your review all in my imagination though LOL
