Reviews from

Lonely

Losing a mother is being alone forever.

33 total reviews 
Comment from zekeziemann
Excellent
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A truly sentimental work that touches the reader. The explanation at the end is what we all rely on: God's eternal promise of Heaven for belief in his Son.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2017
    Thank you for reading and commenting.
    happy Thanksgiving,
    Brigitte
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Excellent
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Hello Brigitte, A friend of mine's father recently passed away and he is sitting in the living room cremated in a beautiful box waiting for her mother to pass. They want their ashes mixed together and then released somewhere beautiful so that the two can be together for an eternity. This piece reminds me of that. Best wishes and good luck. :) Kiwi

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2017
    Yes, I can see that this would be a reminder. Thank you for reading. As always, this came straight from the heart.

    Happy Thanksgiving,
    Brigitte
Comment from evesayshi
Excellent
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In my opinion, it is truly a marvelous experience to have a beloved mother, one who is nurturing and loving - your words express your emotion in this regard, gently and with heartfelt pain and hope...

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017
    Thank you for reading. As always, this was straight from the heart.

    Happy Thanksgiving,
    Brigitte
reply by evesayshi on 22-Nov-2017
    You are very welcome, Brigitte, and yes, I can see that - I wasn't as fortunate - I did not have a loving mother...Eve
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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This is a heartfelt poem, well described, that encapsulates the love of a child for a parent who has passed. I believe we will see loved ones again, too. Marilyn

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017
    Thank you for reading. This was difficult to write but came straight from the heart.

    Happy Thanksgiving,
    Brigitte
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Excellent
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I ceaselessly cry out in vain, a grievous soul who
Can't bear to part with all that is left of my lonely heart. '
This made me cry thinking of you finding your beloved mom like that. I am so sorry...words aren't enough. A beautiful testament you have made to your grief and to the memory of your mother, much love Meia xx


 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    Thank you for reading this. I felt the need to put my emotions in writing and it helped. I never want to lose my memories except that one of finding her gone.
    Hugs and thanks,
    Brigitte
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Having lost all four parents over the years, my children were fortunate to have met them all, and were upset at their departure, happy memories, I hope my wife and I are remembered as your mum is Brigitte. Well done, beautifully written in articulate, open verse, well done, blessings, Roy
R.I.P. mum.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    Thank you for reading this poem. As always, straight from the heart. Many readers can relate and share their emotions readily.
    I am happy that I posted this.
    Have a blessed day and Happy Thanksgiving,
    Brigitte
reply by royowen on 21-Nov-2017
    Thank you, you too, Roy
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Second review

Yay! Improved! Congrats.


First review (FOUR stars)


RIP - condolences for your loss, dear. You will indeed see her again and even now, in your heart. This is a touching poem and well voiced. However, some spots are awkward in flow and inconsistent in spag issues...so I made a few suggestions for your consideration:


NOTES
*

Y(y)our angelic face and Athena-like smile,(add space)only with him(.)


I see it and shall follow, beckoned by his sacred call(--)

Sharing only with him, The Almighty, ruler of all.

*
With droplets streaming, I loudly proclaim...(use comma with dialog, not ellipses)

*
"Our Father and my mother, who art in h(H)eaven..."

Lonely is an inadequate word for this harrowing pain(.)

*
I unendingly cry out in vain, a grievous soul who

C(c)an't bear to part with all that is left of my lonely heart.

Suggest replacing unendingly with ceaselessly



I like the lofty-tone and tenor.
Would love to see this fine-tuned so I can upgrade the rating - do let me know.

Blessings and Best Wishes,
rd

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    This is a most helpful review. I am going back to edit because of your explicit and helpful suggestions.

    Blessings and Thanks,
    Brigitte
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    Better?
reply by rama devi on 21-Nov-2017
    I went to make a second review but can't see the changes. The same issues are there (spacing typo, dots instead of comma)...Do let me know fix you fix those.

    Warmly, rd
reply by rama devi on 21-Nov-2017
    Thanks for your kind and gracious response. Happy to help!

    Blessings,
    rd
Comment from Liberty Justice
Excellent
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WHOA! What a dramatic photo emphasizing loss of someone! Verses flow with such sadness and sorrow and missing someone. Loneliness is a pain hundreds of people suffer from, especially this time of year. WELL DONE! lol liberty justice

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    Thank you for reading and commenting. CEC messed up and it is not in Voting booth. That's okay, I wrote it to help me cope with my loss and not to get votes. They will not admit to mistake. many readers have related to this poem and expressed their emotions.
    Happy Thanksgiving,
    Brigitte
Comment from Cedar
Excellent
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This is a beautiful tribute to your Mother.

Having lost both my Mother and Father I feel your pain. As you said, it definitely leaves a hole in your heart and life. I also truly believe that we will reunite with our loved ones in Heaven.

Happy Thanksgiving...Bill

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    This came from my heart and needed to be written. Faith sustains me, always. Thank you for reading.

    Happy Thanksgiving,
    Brigitte
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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I am so very sorry for your loss, Brigitte. I don't go a day without missing my mum and dad. My mum was the best friend I ever had, we don't tell them enough. I'm sorry you were the one to find her already passed, I can well imagine the pain of that. But, I know she's with you, as I know mine is too. Big hugs, my friend. Sandra xx

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    Thank you very much for reading and commenting. Many readers can relate to this poem. As always, it came from the heart.
    Happy Thanksgiving,
    Brigitte