Moonlight Mysteries
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "A Time to be Born . . . "Two young women make a moonlit exchange.
18 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent followup to your first chapter. The story is captivating and takes the reader into the story with the frightened young girl. I await your next chapter with eagerness.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Excellent followup to your first chapter. The story is captivating and takes the reader into the story with the frightened young girl. I await your next chapter with eagerness.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thank you for staying with the story. It really is helpful to get a continuity opinion.
Have a great rest of the weekend.
Rhonda
Comment from LaRosa
Rhonda, it's not fancifully said, but this chapter grieved my heart. Women have done the 'thing' alone for centuries, it still goes on, but the evil of being at the mercy of two merciless men is a horror. Fourteen years old.
I love the way you write. The special'ness of your way with words calls me back again and again to read more.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Rhonda, it's not fancifully said, but this chapter grieved my heart. Women have done the 'thing' alone for centuries, it still goes on, but the evil of being at the mercy of two merciless men is a horror. Fourteen years old.
I love the way you write. The special'ness of your way with words calls me back again and again to read more.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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That is an amazing review, both in the six stars, and in the comments.
Some people have felt I was just making things up, but I've researched the topic, and have talked with people from the area and times of the setting. The plain fact is, women sometimes were one their own, especially with an illegitimate child. It was always the fault of the woman.
I thought a lot about the subject of this book, and it will go into a romance, and self-discovery type book, but I wanted to ground it in reality, even if some don't want to face that reality. All of these characters are based on real ones, though I manipulated them together.
Thank you again, so much!!
Take care,
Rhonda
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Stick to your guns. It's too easy to want to believe in this day and age that these situations are archaic. They were real in the sixties and are real today. My own sister experienced the same rejection and violent treatment and ended up in a violent marriage. I never cease to grieve how her sweet life changed and was destroyed more by her father's rejection than the situation she was faced with.
You've done a good job. I guess it is nice to see life through rose-colored-glasses.
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No wonder the story has resonated with you. Yes, it is still out there. The father is based on a character I knew way too well. A story for another day, but, you're right. Too many people want to only read what is nice and pure and happy. Which is good when that's what's there. Unfortunately, child abuse is real, especially on girls. Thank you for your comments!
Comment from F. Wehr3
Wonderful work, Rhonda. It's a tragic story, but so well done. I made a couple of notes for you.
Mindy laid back on her homemade birthing bed, and thought about the near panic she had seen in her mother's face.--Lay back. Also, suggest no comma before and. The reason being a comma and a coordinating conjunction( FANBOYS) denotes two complete sentences on either side.
With pains she tensed, between, she rested.--Recommend an 'and' before between. Comma splice.
Great job on this series. I look forward to more.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Wonderful work, Rhonda. It's a tragic story, but so well done. I made a couple of notes for you.
Mindy laid back on her homemade birthing bed, and thought about the near panic she had seen in her mother's face.--Lay back. Also, suggest no comma before and. The reason being a comma and a coordinating conjunction( FANBOYS) denotes two complete sentences on either side.
With pains she tensed, between, she rested.--Recommend an 'and' before between. Comma splice.
Great job on this series. I look forward to more.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Thank you for the beautiful six star rating, Russell. I appreciate the encouragement, and the attention to detail on spag.
I have so much trouble with lay/lie/laid, etc that I try to avoid their use altogether. Sad, but I can't seem to "get it". Thanks, I'll make the changes you've suggested.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from MelB
Hi Rhonda, what a terrible father and that poor girl going through rape, and then having to birth that baby outside. I hope she at least gets the girl baby she wants.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Hi Rhonda, what a terrible father and that poor girl going through rape, and then having to birth that baby outside. I hope she at least gets the girl baby she wants.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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As you saw, she does. Sort of in a strange sort of way, but still...
Thank you for the review and comments!
Rhonda
Comment from apky
For all the emotional spunk you packed in this chapter, Rhonda, it's a straight six star. It was truly exceptional. The passage before put me right next to Mindy, feeling with her, holding my breath with her, almost cursing Nature for giving us mates who, instead of playing their ordained part in protecting and providing for us and the young we give life to, use their power to suppress and belittle.
Minutes, hours, ticked by as she labored on in the violent game of life and death women and their infants have played since the beginning of time. With pains she tensed, between, she rested. Finally a sharp spasm wracked her body, squeezing the air out of her lungs. Another came, then another, until she felt the urge to push her mother had assured her was a signal of impending birth. A grimace, a smile, a teardrop... she bore down.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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For all the emotional spunk you packed in this chapter, Rhonda, it's a straight six star. It was truly exceptional. The passage before put me right next to Mindy, feeling with her, holding my breath with her, almost cursing Nature for giving us mates who, instead of playing their ordained part in protecting and providing for us and the young we give life to, use their power to suppress and belittle.
Minutes, hours, ticked by as she labored on in the violent game of life and death women and their infants have played since the beginning of time. With pains she tensed, between, she rested. Finally a sharp spasm wracked her body, squeezing the air out of her lungs. Another came, then another, until she felt the urge to push her mother had assured her was a signal of impending birth. A grimace, a smile, a teardrop... she bore down.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Apky, you are a Sweetheart! Thank you for your wonderful and supportive review. You were specific in your remarks, and that is so helpful. Thank you for the six star review, and for the six stars!!
I appreciate you for your reviews, and for all the months of encouragement and prayers you gave me.
Rhonda
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Padna.
Good to see you up and about, mate.
"now that she was away from the watchful eyes of her disapproving family, Mindy felt free." (I still remember the feeling more than forty years later.)
"Who says you're getting a midwife?" (Ouch!)
"Mindy could see real concern in his eyes... " (I bet!... Not!)
Yep, I'm glad I was born a bloke lol.
Very well written, Sis, without a spag in sight. I'll jump on the next one now.
Great job, as always.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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G'day Padna.
Good to see you up and about, mate.
"now that she was away from the watchful eyes of her disapproving family, Mindy felt free." (I still remember the feeling more than forty years later.)
"Who says you're getting a midwife?" (Ouch!)
"Mindy could see real concern in his eyes... " (I bet!... Not!)
Yep, I'm glad I was born a bloke lol.
Very well written, Sis, without a spag in sight. I'll jump on the next one now.
Great job, as always.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Thank you, again, my favorite white black man!
You are fun, and you are smart. You always get right to the heart of things, and you bring out exactly what I'm thinking.
Tell the beautiful ladies I said Kumusta!!
Cowgirl
Comment from royowen
This is a great story Rhonda. One feels all the determination of a young girl cruelly berated by her family, (including her abuser) feeling all the loneliness from finding her own way, however, as they say, no man is an island, according to John Donne, so perhaps a compassionate person manifests? Well done, one felt like I was there witnessing the delivery. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : until she felt an urge to push(,)
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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This is a great story Rhonda. One feels all the determination of a young girl cruelly berated by her family, (including her abuser) feeling all the loneliness from finding her own way, however, as they say, no man is an island, according to John Donne, so perhaps a compassionate person manifests? Well done, one felt like I was there witnessing the delivery. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : until she felt an urge to push(,)
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much, Roy. Your input means a great deal to me.
I'm about to post one more chapter that will be a bit intense, but after that, all roses (more or less). Thanks for your comments, and thanks for the wonderful 6 stars again!!
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
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Most welcome
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm struggling with the fact that her mother is going to allow her to deliver the baby by herself. I am hoping her mother shows up in time to help. I know it's fiction but my heart goes out to her.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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I'm struggling with the fact that her mother is going to allow her to deliver the baby by herself. I am hoping her mother shows up in time to help. I know it's fiction but my heart goes out to her.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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The mother is a weak character because of the times she grew up in, but will grow as it goes.
Thanks for the review, my friend!
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Rhonda;
I do so hope for Mindy that the baby is a girl. She will surely lose the child to its father if its a son. Or would he come up with some sly way to just have the boy around to help him farm?
Well written and compelling. I look forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Hi, Rhonda;
I do so hope for Mindy that the baby is a girl. She will surely lose the child to its father if its a son. Or would he come up with some sly way to just have the boy around to help him farm?
Well written and compelling. I look forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Thank you, Patty. It's a bit dark right now, but does lighten up a bit.
Thanks for the review!
Rhonda
Comment from trumby
Excellent story, mate. Good, strong characters, A believable story-line (I know that they had it tough back then),
2 reasons for the 6. (1) It's a great story (2) I'm just pleased to see you in print again.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Excellent story, mate. Good, strong characters, A believable story-line (I know that they had it tough back then),
2 reasons for the 6. (1) It's a great story (2) I'm just pleased to see you in print again.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Awww, thank you for the six stars and for the encouragement! I'm glad to be back to writing again, as well. I don't know why, but it just worked this time. I've tried several times to come back, and just lacked the motivation, then I did. I've missed being here.
Again, much thanks!
Rhonda
