Reviews from

The End of the Affair

just playing with sounds

38 total reviews 
Comment from B.B. Rose
Excellent
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For the thrill of the thrall of your hot electricity. OMG! This is so funny. Well, if no one will publish you, I would encourage you to do your own chapbook through Create Space. Or at least try bigger contests. Right now, I'm judging entries in sixfold.org's semi annual fiction and poetry contest. So far, you would win hands down. ($1,000 prize)...although they tend toward the more arcane and obscure variety. You would be a fresh wind.

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thanks for the supportive review. I'm afraid I don't know enough about any one topic to be arcane, so I may have to stick to Fanstory.
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
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I marked the end of the affair with wonderfully written with great descriptive measures theme and imagery it flood well-read well with no grammar issues thank for this doctor Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thanks, Ricky. The goal with this one was to cram as many "icity" rhymes as I could.
Comment from pbomar1115
Excellent
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You cleverly began the poem as any man who was feeling remorseful for cheating in his marriage. Revealing his gut as if he was soul was on fire for his wrong. Then at the end, you wanted one more night to remember. This hilarious.


Phillip

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thanks, Phillip. I'm glad the humor of the ending came through.
reply by pbomar1115 on 13-Nov-2017
    Oh, yeah.

Comment from jenintorre
Excellent
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I absolutely love this poem. It definately deserves six stars but sadly I don't have any left which is Sod's law because I normally don't give many out. All the rhyme is superb and so original. Thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thanks for the kind words and the virtual six. It was a fun one to write.
Comment from Maria Jose Garcia
Excellent
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I love this poem, I like how you play with sounds.
I also like how well you tell the story of this affair from the husband's point of view.
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thanks, Maria Jose - it was a fun one to write.
Comment from teols2016
Excellent
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I love your comment in the author's notes. I don't see why you can't get the piece published. It's well-written, has a nice rhythm, and tells a story. Be careful about that one last night. ;) Well done.

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thanks for the review. This one was fun to write - just tried to cram as many "icity" rhymes as I could into it.
Comment from Kaye Ouston
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm supposed to write what I liked and what I think needs work. In my opinion, nothing needs work. This is a symphony of words that meld together and intertwine deliciously taking the reader through an age old story of temptation and guilt that culminates in the "just one more time" reasoning that traps a man in an eternal love triangle that never seems to end even if he wants it to. The rhyming and word usage is superb. 'Just playing with words' I think you won.

Best wishes

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thanks, Kaye for this wonderful review and the six. I had fun trying to cram as many "iciity" rhymes as I could into this one.
Comment from sfharper
Excellent
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This is a good warning poem about getting ensnared into an affair, you show the worries and costs and the temptations very well. I like the use of rhyme. The conclusion reinforces the decision to leave, parting with fond memories. Enjoyable tones that reinforce the feelings throughout.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thanks. I started off just playing with rhymes. I found that many of the words "Illicit, mistress, complicit, ksiin'" lent themselves to a poem about an affair, and so that's where I went with it.
reply by sfharper on 13-Nov-2017
    You're welcome Mark, good plan for poem building
Comment from evesayshi
Excellent
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In my opinion, a commanding write, stunning in its rhyming articulation and fluid movement - I suggest submitting it to "rattle.com," to see if they would be interested in publishing it in their magazine - it appears to conform with their poetic preferences...

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thanks for the review and the tip - I'll check it out.
reply by evesayshi on 10-Nov-2017
    You are very welcome, Mark - good luck - I can't vouch for them in any way, but since it won't cost you anything to submit, give it a try. I don't recommend any contests, theirs or any others, however, unless you have significant disposable income. There are far too many sources that actually purchase poetry, as you probably already know...Eve
Comment from Dorothy Fennell
Excellent
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Hi Mark, a well written verse. Lots of internal rhyme, words ending in 'icity' which makes for a swinging read, along with other same ending words, both end and internal. An illicit affair the writer is putting to an end but I have my doubts LOL, when reading the last line - 'But first, one more night, for remembrance's sake.' A line like that sounds very much like an ending about to begin again - shame on you LOL. Good poem and a good read. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thanks, Dorothy. Glad you appreciated the ending - I wanted to end it on a humorous note.