Reviews from

I Love You.

A confession of love.

11 total reviews 
Comment from kiwigirl2821
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What a cute 50 word story. It's clever and the reader wouldn't have a clue as to what the ending is going to be. Maybe mommy will know! Funny, funny funny. xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thank you.
Comment from Gert sherwood
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Hello author
You definitely know how to make a question to be answered with when a child answer the big question
I would be happy to marry you."
"What are we going to do about it?"
"I have no idea. Maybe mommy will know."

Gert


 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    Thanks for reading.
Comment from giraffmang
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Hi there,

Good job getting this into the required word count. Must be siblings... gotta watch out for that incest...

Best of luck in the competition.
GMG

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017
    I was thinking of a father and daughter.
Comment from teols2016
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Yes, please bring Mommy into this conversation. This is quite amusing. I enjoyed reading it. Well done and best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    Thanks for reading.
Comment from Mustangpatty1029
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Dear Anonymous Author;
Such a cute use of the allotted fifty words for the contest. You certainly created a good deal of humor. I couldn't help but wonder the age of these kids and what their relation is -- thought-provoking,

Good luck in the contest,

~patty~

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    I left the background up to the reader. Kind of hard to flesh it out in fifty words.
Comment from Jay Squires
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This is a tough assignment, isn't it? Exactly 50 words! You chose a subject that is a natural for humor, especially when the climactic turn-point is revealed by one word that immediately reveals the previously unrevealed part: "Mommy". Until then we didn't know that two children were "planning their marriage".

If you will allow for a suggestion, try to make the children sound a little less "adult". I find it difficult to believe a child would use: "I would be happy to marry you." I know, it's a delicate line. You don't want to give away too soon that they are children. But if I drew my conclusion that it was "too adult" others will too.

I mention this because, if my suggestion makes sense, you'll have time to work on it before the contest window closes.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    My thought is that it was a father and daughter. Every little girl wants to marry her father.
Comment from Sharon Meda
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This is a good Humorous fifty word story.
The story is clear in your fifty words and very cute.
Good luck to you in the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    Thanks for reading and commenting.
Comment from Ronni
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Love the humor in this...of course the real pun is, most uncertain lovers
do NOT ask their mommy first or later. The dialogue between these
two is priceless in context of how immature and unready for marriage
as these two are.
Thanks for sharing....best of luck in contest...
Ronni

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    Thanks for reading and commenting.
Comment from B.B. Rose
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Yeah, this is cute...I think...or is it pederasty? I prefer to think along sweet pathways. Whatever, it made be chuckle. Good luck with this one.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    Thanks for reading and commenting.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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A sweet warm and innocent write and reminded me of my children when they were little and my grand daughter now only 4 years old and has a boyfriend she says she loves! Best wishes for the contest, love Dolly x

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
    Thanks for reading.