The Culturin' Up of Forest Frederick
Song lyrics27 total reviews
Comment from Sis Cat
Michael, this is excellent. I am so thrilled that you won this contest. I knew from the moment I read it a week ago that you have a winner. I just wrapped up a ten week song writing class in Berkeley and your song is as fine and as fun as any song composed in that workshop.
I love your wittiness and your naughtiness in your playful use of monorhyme:
His mind always fixed on his hangin' log;
without proper meter, he's but a hog...."
Your chorus is hilarious:
The fools won't catch wind of our deviltry,
naked encounters delicious and free ...
animals wilder than anyone's seen,
they'll hear werewolves howl, when hearing our screams!
I also love how you take digs it iambic pentameter:
Iambic pentameter whispers with class,
the smooth dulcet verbiage dazzles with sass.
Cats screwing noisily sprawled on the grass,
spoken iambic, ring soft, smooth as glass.
This creativity crafted a "delicious and free" song which took you to the winner's circle.
Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your well-deserved win. I am glad my song placed in a four-way tie for third. I can see why yours edged out in the heart of voters.
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Michael, this is excellent. I am so thrilled that you won this contest. I knew from the moment I read it a week ago that you have a winner. I just wrapped up a ten week song writing class in Berkeley and your song is as fine and as fun as any song composed in that workshop.
I love your wittiness and your naughtiness in your playful use of monorhyme:
His mind always fixed on his hangin' log;
without proper meter, he's but a hog...."
Your chorus is hilarious:
The fools won't catch wind of our deviltry,
naked encounters delicious and free ...
animals wilder than anyone's seen,
they'll hear werewolves howl, when hearing our screams!
I also love how you take digs it iambic pentameter:
Iambic pentameter whispers with class,
the smooth dulcet verbiage dazzles with sass.
Cats screwing noisily sprawled on the grass,
spoken iambic, ring soft, smooth as glass.
This creativity crafted a "delicious and free" song which took you to the winner's circle.
Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your well-deserved win. I am glad my song placed in a four-way tie for third. I can see why yours edged out in the heart of voters.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2017
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I love this one. How clever and definitely a good song to drink to and have a bit of fun. Best wishes in the contest, my friend. This is a great entry~Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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I love this one. How clever and definitely a good song to drink to and have a bit of fun. Best wishes in the contest, my friend. This is a great entry~Debbie
Comment Written 21-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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So delighted you liked this one. Soooo much fun to write and sing, and yep, a couple shots don't hurt either. LOL
Thanks so much. mike
Comment from Pantygynt
Sure an' the lady here has a lovely name. Hornette? Is that the female equivalent of horny or does it mean she has a sting in her tail?. I would love to hear the tune to this in resounding 3/4 time. Mind you that makes a nonsense of iambic pentameter which would be common or cut common time. This is a misture of dactylic and anapaestic if we are talking meter or "waltsz" if music is the thing.
This is great fun and deserves a high placement in the contest. "Vive la double entendre".
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Sure an' the lady here has a lovely name. Hornette? Is that the female equivalent of horny or does it mean she has a sting in her tail?. I would love to hear the tune to this in resounding 3/4 time. Mind you that makes a nonsense of iambic pentameter which would be common or cut common time. This is a misture of dactylic and anapaestic if we are talking meter or "waltsz" if music is the thing.
This is great fun and deserves a high placement in the contest. "Vive la double entendre".
Comment Written 20-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Hey, Jim
I can fit anything to any kind of music. LOL
This was great fun. It WAS actually a response to your iambic pentameter challenge, but I didn't get past the first line and the music took over. Glad you liked it. I still owe you one for the challenge .... mike
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Never mind there are more things to life (and more rhythms) than iambic pentameter.
Comment from rama devi
Second review
:-))) Wink wink
(First review (FOUR stars)
Very horny indeed. Bawdy humor, well portrayed. Great rhymes. Good flow read aloud (for the most part - see below).
Fine phonetics in phrasing. Great imagery and double meanings laced throughout. Clever.
NOTES
LOL:
His mind always fixed on his hangin' log;
*
Lady Hornette took a shine to this cad,(no ,)
and secretly dreamed of the tools he had.
*
The fools won't catch wind of our deviltry,
Did you mean devilry?
Great alliteration here:
To make Forest Fred'rick a swell court consort,
she'd have to work wonders, and cover warts.
He'd have to learn patience, instincts abort,
and curb his crude tongue with witty retorts.
Meter off one beat in this line (to my ear):
He'd have to learn patience, instincts abort,
Suggest:
He'd have to learn patience, his instincts abort,
Meter off one beat in this line (to my ear, read aloud, giving metrical substitution on the pentameter word (meter being unaccented - as otherwise scansion would be off):
Iambic pentameter whispers class,
Suggest:
Iambic pentameter whispers with class,
Since there is no fixed strict meter, bending it a bit for reading aloud is optimal.
This line has awkward flow:
'twill make a mate satisfying for sure.
(')Tis most worth it, yes, to wield your sweet heater?
Excellent presentation.
What fun you must've had writing this.
Needs fine tuning, but otherwise, well done.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2017
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Second review
:-))) Wink wink
(First review (FOUR stars)
Very horny indeed. Bawdy humor, well portrayed. Great rhymes. Good flow read aloud (for the most part - see below).
Fine phonetics in phrasing. Great imagery and double meanings laced throughout. Clever.
NOTES
LOL:
His mind always fixed on his hangin' log;
*
Lady Hornette took a shine to this cad,(no ,)
and secretly dreamed of the tools he had.
*
The fools won't catch wind of our deviltry,
Did you mean devilry?
Great alliteration here:
To make Forest Fred'rick a swell court consort,
she'd have to work wonders, and cover warts.
He'd have to learn patience, instincts abort,
and curb his crude tongue with witty retorts.
Meter off one beat in this line (to my ear):
He'd have to learn patience, instincts abort,
Suggest:
He'd have to learn patience, his instincts abort,
Meter off one beat in this line (to my ear, read aloud, giving metrical substitution on the pentameter word (meter being unaccented - as otherwise scansion would be off):
Iambic pentameter whispers class,
Suggest:
Iambic pentameter whispers with class,
Since there is no fixed strict meter, bending it a bit for reading aloud is optimal.
This line has awkward flow:
'twill make a mate satisfying for sure.
(')Tis most worth it, yes, to wield your sweet heater?
Excellent presentation.
What fun you must've had writing this.
Needs fine tuning, but otherwise, well done.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 20-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2017
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Yes, deviltry. It's an archaic version of devilry ... just like I'm an archaic version of my former self. LOL It's funny, but I've ALWAYS used deviltry and never knew where I got it from.
I have utilized your suggestions to wonderful effect ( I think ). Thanks so much. YES, this was the greatest fun. I especially enjoyed the research. :))
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Hey Mike- it's YOU! i reviewed with blinders. I had an inkling it might be you! Upgrading...thanks for letting me know there is an archaic deviltry!
Love, rd
Comment from sunnilicious
You're funny and very creative too. Great presentation. Well thought out and clearly written. Good lyrical flow with rhyme in assonance. Good internal and end rhyming too. Nice work. Good luck in the contest :)
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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You're funny and very creative too. Great presentation. Well thought out and clearly written. Good lyrical flow with rhyme in assonance. Good internal and end rhyming too. Nice work. Good luck in the contest :)
Comment Written 19-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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I'm so pleased you enjoyed this, Sunni. What a wonderful encouraging review. Thanks so much. :))
Comment from Oatmeal
Very cute. Your arrangement here is very creative. Nicely written work. Perfectly arranged & formatting is wonderful. Good flow. Understandable. Very descriptive and created impressions that are very vivid.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Very cute. Your arrangement here is very creative. Nicely written work. Perfectly arranged & formatting is wonderful. Good flow. Understandable. Very descriptive and created impressions that are very vivid.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 19-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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So pleased you enjoyed and found it to your liking. Love you too. :))
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, a fun and titillating lyric, expressive in rhythm and rhyme, in anticipation of the music, to express itself fully in song, complying fully with the prompt. Best of luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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In my opinion, a fun and titillating lyric, expressive in rhythm and rhyme, in anticipation of the music, to express itself fully in song, complying fully with the prompt. Best of luck in the contest...
Comment Written 19-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Aww, how totally encouraging. I have a big smile now. Win or lose, I'll keep that. :))
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Good for you...
Comment from krys123
Cheers, be with you, Anonymous Writer;
-although I really liked your font. I had a heart problem with the letters B & H and a few other letters to determine what they stood for. I think your poem may be read smoother if you picked a different font. Or at least, I had a struggle with it with probably doesn't say much. Chuckle!
-I truly enjoyed the song and it would definitely be sung in bars by those who could remember the lyrics, after about five drinks. And those that don't remember will just hum along.
-Very inventive and superbly creative is this demonstratively written piece of poetry written as lyrics.
-Good rhyming and rhythm helps the enjambment or idea to flow smoothly throughout the writing without any interruptions at with the syntax and grammar of your lyrics.
-The picture is downright humorous and I enjoyed it. It is very relative and supportive to the conceptual theme of your writing.
-Good luck in the contest, sincerely, and may peaceful harmony always be with you.
Alex
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Cheers, be with you, Anonymous Writer;
-although I really liked your font. I had a heart problem with the letters B & H and a few other letters to determine what they stood for. I think your poem may be read smoother if you picked a different font. Or at least, I had a struggle with it with probably doesn't say much. Chuckle!
-I truly enjoyed the song and it would definitely be sung in bars by those who could remember the lyrics, after about five drinks. And those that don't remember will just hum along.
-Very inventive and superbly creative is this demonstratively written piece of poetry written as lyrics.
-Good rhyming and rhythm helps the enjambment or idea to flow smoothly throughout the writing without any interruptions at with the syntax and grammar of your lyrics.
-The picture is downright humorous and I enjoyed it. It is very relative and supportive to the conceptual theme of your writing.
-Good luck in the contest, sincerely, and may peaceful harmony always be with you.
Alex
Comment Written 19-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Hey, Alex
Wow. Some encouraging words from one of the best songwriters on site. I can't do better than that. Thanks a million for the encouragement. These are fun contests, yes? :))
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You are very welcome my friend and take care.
Alex
Comment from Bill Schott
These lyrics for, The Culturin' Up of Forest Frederick, depict some horny goin's on that seem to go under the radar. I tried singing it to a sea shanty beat, which seemed to work.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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These lyrics for, The Culturin' Up of Forest Frederick, depict some horny goin's on that seem to go under the radar. I tried singing it to a sea shanty beat, which seemed to work.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Yep, kind of a bawdy thing helped by a couple shots no doubt. Thanks a bunch. :))
Comment from dragonpoet
If they make so much noise when making love how are they going to hide that their exercise is really making love. Affairs seem to be a big part of royal life because most marriages were arranged and loveless. I like the use of meter as a rhythm of love too. I think the second iambic could be changed to with meter.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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If they make so much noise when making love how are they going to hide that their exercise is really making love. Affairs seem to be a big part of royal life because most marriages were arranged and loveless. I like the use of meter as a rhythm of love too. I think the second iambic could be changed to with meter.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 19-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2017
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Ahh, good idea, I'll think about that. Thanks a million for an insightful and fun review. :))
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You're welcome.
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