Danger in Uluru
An unexpected accident19 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Aww, that was lovely! I really enjoyed that story and the twist at the end was brilliant! I think this would be a good story to tell children, it would teach them to take care. Well done, I loved it, and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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Aww, that was lovely! I really enjoyed that story and the twist at the end was brilliant! I think this would be a good story to tell children, it would teach them to take care. Well done, I loved it, and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 16-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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Thanks so much, Sandra.
Comment from BeasPeas
A well written story about our little "Rob." Thank God he was okay. The thorny devil is truly and unusual animal. Cute in a strange kind of way. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed this. Marilyn
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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A well written story about our little "Rob." Thank God he was okay. The thorny devil is truly and unusual animal. Cute in a strange kind of way. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed this. Marilyn
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Yes, they are quite peculiar (thorny devils).
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
The ending was unexpected, as you no doubt intended it to be. Of course he could be a kangaroo... more likely that than a human out there. Well done!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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The ending was unexpected, as you no doubt intended it to be. Of course he could be a kangaroo... more likely that than a human out there. Well done!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thanks for reading, Phyllis.
Comment from frierajac
What an interesting illustration to go with yur story. Making animals seem to be like humans is an ancient ploy. You have made it suitable for the prompt by having a kangaroo. I can't say what the backstory is or if this might continue?
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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What an interesting illustration to go with yur story. Making animals seem to be like humans is an ancient ploy. You have made it suitable for the prompt by having a kangaroo. I can't say what the backstory is or if this might continue?
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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This is supposed to be just a little short story. I don't think it will continue.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story about Uluru in Australia where kangaroos have to be constantly careful for tourists on motor cycles. He narrowly escapes from such an accident.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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A very well-written story about Uluru in Australia where kangaroos have to be constantly careful for tourists on motor cycles. He narrowly escapes from such an accident.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thanks for reading, Sandra. Have a lovely day.
Comment from trumby
HOLY SHIT!!! A TALKING KANGAROO!!!
I've hit several of these in my car and shot quite a few too.
Australia's national icon may be found dead on the sides of the road all over Australia.
Well written. I like the fact that you kept the species hidden until the end.
They're a PEST in Australia, but people overseas are fascinated by them.
You got the 6 because its about Australia, mate.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2017
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HOLY SHIT!!! A TALKING KANGAROO!!!
I've hit several of these in my car and shot quite a few too.
Australia's national icon may be found dead on the sides of the road all over Australia.
Well written. I like the fact that you kept the species hidden until the end.
They're a PEST in Australia, but people overseas are fascinated by them.
You got the 6 because its about Australia, mate.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2017
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I know you consider them a pest, that's what inspired me, kind of. However, over here we think of them as adorable little creatures, as you say.
Thanks for the six stars.
Comment from pumpkinpie
This was a sweet story & I always love a surprise at the end. There was no indication that Rob was a kangaroo. I particularly enjoyed the description of the landscape & the creature that he saw. I enjoyed it very much.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2017
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This was a sweet story & I always love a surprise at the end. There was no indication that Rob was a kangaroo. I particularly enjoyed the description of the landscape & the creature that he saw. I enjoyed it very much.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2017
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I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from estory
I get that this is a comment on people that do not take into account the safety of animals, or anyone really, when they drive around, and in personifying the kangaroos you create a feeling of empathy for them. They are humanized, and we feel sorry for them when they get into accidents that are of no cause of their own. I just think it would really have much greater impact if you made this story about a boy; maybe a boy with a pet kangaroo, and have both of them run over by the car. You could do a better job of setting this scene, sketching out the characters, instead of just using them as symbols. Create some kind of favorite hobby, maybe photography, that draws the kid out to Uluru. Give us a sense of the bond between boy and pet kangaroo. Create a scene where the characters interact with some of the tourists, share a moment with them. This complicates things, and when the tourist runs them over, it drags up all kinds of roiling emotions. Flesh out the dialogue. Inject into the dialogue something of the soul of the characters, their personality, their character. All this takes some work, and effort, to get to a better place in your story writing. Writing is hard work. It takes years of months , weeks and days of writing and rewriting, and you do it because you have to do it. If you want to keep it flash fiction, there are great flash fiction books you can read to give you some idea of what is possible in the form. Try New Sudden Fiction edited by Robert Shappard. estory
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
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I get that this is a comment on people that do not take into account the safety of animals, or anyone really, when they drive around, and in personifying the kangaroos you create a feeling of empathy for them. They are humanized, and we feel sorry for them when they get into accidents that are of no cause of their own. I just think it would really have much greater impact if you made this story about a boy; maybe a boy with a pet kangaroo, and have both of them run over by the car. You could do a better job of setting this scene, sketching out the characters, instead of just using them as symbols. Create some kind of favorite hobby, maybe photography, that draws the kid out to Uluru. Give us a sense of the bond between boy and pet kangaroo. Create a scene where the characters interact with some of the tourists, share a moment with them. This complicates things, and when the tourist runs them over, it drags up all kinds of roiling emotions. Flesh out the dialogue. Inject into the dialogue something of the soul of the characters, their personality, their character. All this takes some work, and effort, to get to a better place in your story writing. Writing is hard work. It takes years of months , weeks and days of writing and rewriting, and you do it because you have to do it. If you want to keep it flash fiction, there are great flash fiction books you can read to give you some idea of what is possible in the form. Try New Sudden Fiction edited by Robert Shappard. estory
Comment Written 13-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
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Thanks for reading. There was no symbolism in my story at all. What you see is what you get, I think you read too much into it.
P.S. I know writing is hard work. I've been doing it every day for a long time.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh WOW! You got me! Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the protagonist in this tale would turn out to be a kangaroo - well done! I love the plot, too - I guess that's why I thought this was a child, fascinated by a strange creature.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
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Oh WOW! You got me! Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the protagonist in this tale would turn out to be a kangaroo - well done! I love the plot, too - I guess that's why I thought this was a child, fascinated by a strange creature.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
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Thanks for your kind review.
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It was my pleasure.
Comment from MJ McIntire
I thought for sure Rob was a little boy that was just going to go out and explore.
(well I guess he is in a way)
Then I thought what is wrong with them, can't he see he hit a boy. (it's early)
When he got up and hopped away, I thought what an unexpected twist and was relieved he was ok.
MJ
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
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I thought for sure Rob was a little boy that was just going to go out and explore.
(well I guess he is in a way)
Then I thought what is wrong with them, can't he see he hit a boy. (it's early)
When he got up and hopped away, I thought what an unexpected twist and was relieved he was ok.
MJ
Comment Written 13-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
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Thanks for reading my little story. We have the same initials, BTW.
