Record of Life
The record of life spins. Who loses or wins?63 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
A youth of sober and sensible upbringing will get a lot of shocks from life on earth.
The store I visited sold 45s from jukeboxes, most in like-new condition. Somewhere in this hoarder's nightmare are several milk crates full of records...
excellent poem.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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A youth of sober and sensible upbringing will get a lot of shocks from life on earth.
The store I visited sold 45s from jukeboxes, most in like-new condition. Somewhere in this hoarder's nightmare are several milk crates full of records...
excellent poem.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
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Thank you, LIJ Red, for your heartfelt review of my song lyrics. I hope you find those milk crates of records. Enjoy them again.
Comment from gramalot8
Dear Author... first off let me say that I'm glad you weren't shot that day... Now... on a lighter note...
I so remember those wonderful vinyls... fantastic 45 singles... great times listening to wonderful tunes on my record player. You captured a great memory in a memorable way. Would love to hear this as the actual song. And... the record of life is still spinning... and it's still not clear who's winning....
Great job and good luck in the contest. Gramalot8
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Dear Author... first off let me say that I'm glad you weren't shot that day... Now... on a lighter note...
I so remember those wonderful vinyls... fantastic 45 singles... great times listening to wonderful tunes on my record player. You captured a great memory in a memorable way. Would love to hear this as the actual song. And... the record of life is still spinning... and it's still not clear who's winning....
Great job and good luck in the contest. Gramalot8
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Gramalot8, for your encouraging review and for wishing me good luck in the contest. It chills me to think that if he had shot me, I would not be here today to write this song. On a positive note, my song allowed me to revisit my experiences and passions with forty-fives. I am thinking about how to make this into an actual song. Thank you for your review.
Comment from JW
Thanks for sharing this poem and your story. In reading what you post, my mind instantly went down memory lane. How great where the days (overall) when music was available on 45's. My life and the world was so different then.
Good luck in the contest. JW
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Thanks for sharing this poem and your story. In reading what you post, my mind instantly went down memory lane. How great where the days (overall) when music was available on 45's. My life and the world was so different then.
Good luck in the contest. JW
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Thank you, JW, for your review. I got teary-eyed as I wrote this and reminisced about the glory days of forty-fives. Yes, life and the world were quite different then. Thanks also for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from JDRBAR
The days of the late fifties and early sixties can't be compared to any other era in history by any who lived that era as a teenager. I still have a few of my favorites I saved from then.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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The days of the late fifties and early sixties can't be compared to any other era in history by any who lived that era as a teenager. I still have a few of my favorites I saved from then.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Thank you, JDRBAR, for your review. I am glad you saved a few from that era.
Comment from alvina224224
A creditable effort, author, and very well composed. Retaining memories of unfair and such illogical incidents, is a skill more artists should use. I look forward to hearing these lyrics set to music in the near future. Best wishes for the contest
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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A creditable effort, author, and very well composed. Retaining memories of unfair and such illogical incidents, is a skill more artists should use. I look forward to hearing these lyrics set to music in the near future. Best wishes for the contest
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Alvina, for your review and for wishing me the best in the contest. I am exploring setting my lyrics to music.
Comment from Eternal Muse
This was a true song, well composed, modern, upbeat and very real. I feel like I was listening to a hit single. Song lyrics are harder than regular poetry but you delivered with feet to spare.
Good job!
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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This was a true song, well composed, modern, upbeat and very real. I feel like I was listening to a hit single. Song lyrics are harder than regular poetry but you delivered with feet to spare.
Good job!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Yes, Yelena, as I wrote this I could not help but to think of the music I enjoyed at the time. I tossed into my song such staples at blue jeans and rock 'n' roll along with a true story about what happened to me in one shop. Thank you for your review and for saying my song sounded like a hit single.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi - this is a very well written lyric based on a true experience. It's a long, seventeen stanza song, but the repeated stanzas work well in keeping the story together. Your author notes are very helpful and I found re-reading the song after reading the notes helped the understanding of the story. One tiny ambiguity - you bought two albums - but you were looking for singles - perhaps change this to 'I bought two records' or something similar. A terrible experience you had and you have written about it really well. I liked your description of the return visit to an empty, disused shop - a nice touch. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Hi - this is a very well written lyric based on a true experience. It's a long, seventeen stanza song, but the repeated stanzas work well in keeping the story together. Your author notes are very helpful and I found re-reading the song after reading the notes helped the understanding of the story. One tiny ambiguity - you bought two albums - but you were looking for singles - perhaps change this to 'I bought two records' or something similar. A terrible experience you had and you have written about it really well. I liked your description of the return visit to an empty, disused shop - a nice touch. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Dorothy, for your review and your recommendation to clear up an ambiguity. I accepted your edit. I am glad you found my notes helpful in helping you understand my song. I sang it last night to my songwriting class without first telling them the notes and they did not understand the song. They found it confused them about the time, place, and subject. Some though I was talking about Trayvon Martin and not myself. I thought, "If I ever perform this song again, I will fully explain it to my audience first." My song reminds me of Bob Dylan's "Hurricane." It is a dense, long song which I have always enjoyed but did not understand until I read the lyrics several days ago.
In terms of length, one other reviewer and my songwriting teacher said it was long, but when I sang and recorded it, it came out to 2:37 and 2:38. That is without any musical accompaniment.
What made my song was the fact that I returned to the shop thirty-three years later to reflect that I could have been a chalked outline. Thanks for noting this.
Thank you also for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from RoDanni
That is both a well-written song and a terrifying experience. I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like. And you were so young! Thank you for your bravery in sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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That is both a well-written song and a terrifying experience. I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like. And you were so young! Thank you for your bravery in sharing.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Yes, Roseanne, it was a terrifying experience and an odd one. Most people would have fled the shop when the shopkeeper brandished the gun. Even at gun point, I insisted on examining every single record like I normally would. This perplexed the man, but he did not lay down his gun until after I paid and left. Thank you for your review and praise of my song.
Comment from sunnilicious
Records are nice. I remember them well. Good metaphors and similes. Nice visual imagery that holds nostalgic value. Great lyrical tempo. Great work. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Records are nice. I remember them well. Good metaphors and similes. Nice visual imagery that holds nostalgic value. Great lyrical tempo. Great work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Yes, sunnilicious, I had a lot of fun writing this ode to records. Their visual and nostalgic value are rich. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from write hand blue
A great poem with good flow and balance. Unusual subject about a passion for collecting vinyl. Written in the form of a song.
I can't imagine the type of society that allows shop keepers to brandish guns like that. Surely this is against your law. This would be a serious offence with a custodial sentence in the UK.
Good luck in the contest.
~Mel~
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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A great poem with good flow and balance. Unusual subject about a passion for collecting vinyl. Written in the form of a song.
I can't imagine the type of society that allows shop keepers to brandish guns like that. Surely this is against your law. This would be a serious offence with a custodial sentence in the UK.
Good luck in the contest.
~Mel~
Comment Written 11-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2017
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Yes, Mel, my subject is unusual, which is why I love my song. While inspired by the music of my youth, it is unlike any song I have heard, especially my inclusion of the gun scene. Thank you for your review and for wishing my song good luck in the contest.
