Reviews from

Forever Thine

Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Freedom"
A New Orleans prostitute longs to find love.

6 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hey! Finally getting some points! You did well with this chapter. Written delicately, considering Danielle and all she has endured. So glad we are in the paying stream now, hehe! Something wrong with the Chapter numbers again.

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thank you again. I'm so glad you like it. Mary
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The personal card and words from Danielle to Savannah are a lovely touch to start off this chapter. Love how you've tackled this situation for Danielle.
My (May) I claim a dance
Like tiny shads (shards) of glass
cheers.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2017
    Thank you Pearl for your wonderful comments and the sixes. You and they are truly appreciated. Mary
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am so glad it all worked out well for Danellia, that she was able to face her demons so she could be free. The way she handled it with such grace such poise was marvelous. It's a great chapter, well-written, very descriptive and the plot moved along nicely.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thanks again my friend. I truly appreciate your kind review and for following along. Mary
Comment from apky
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


Astill an excellent read! This is excellent and moves at a fast pace.

I enjoyed it and found it so entertaining. No spags that I could detect. The plot continued to race and is sprinkled with a variety of intriguing situations.

The pace of the story - which is what impresses me most in it - is still great. And that air of mystery remains intact too. I find myself eager to find out what will happen next, if not what is happening anyway.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thank you so very much for your wonderful review. Mary
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It must have felt good for Danielle's character to recall her embarrassment, and yet be rewarded in the way that she was. I'm not terribly familiar with the plot, but the brief synopsis helped a little. The plot was well written and looks sound, but the characters are quite strong, and interesting enough to give the narrative som strength, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thank you so very much. I truly appreciate your kind review. Mary
reply by royowen on 10-Oct-2017
    Most welcome
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, Mary

= Whew! So far, so good.
= Something tells me there will be a tantrum or something embarrassing before it's all said and done.
= Nice chapter. Well written, my friend.

=> Upper-case: Father (unless it is possessive---my father, your father, our father, etc.)
- Mother, [father] (Father), I'd like you to meet

=> Direct Address: Always use comma.
- "Don't(,) Edward. I want you just as badly.
- "Oh(,) Celie, he's wonderful. I have an
- "Come home with us(,) Celie. I'm sure the master
- "I attended to you once(,) Miss Savannah when you had

=> Need to be consistent with =periods= in addresses: Dr.
=> Depending on the country, some use a period, some do not. Personal choice. You just need to be consistent.
- "Dr(.) Campbell. How good of you to come."

=> Need comma
- "And I(,) you. Oh Edward, it's good to be free."

Cheers, J (*<*)



 Comment Written 05-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
    Thanks so much for all your generous time and help. You are appreciated. Mary