tanka (robin's nest)
tanka contest20 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Congratulations on winning the contest. I admired your very poignant message and succinct use of the tanka form. Your alliteration of "r's" intensified the compelling imagery. Keep up the splendid work! Bravo- Joan
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Congratulations on winning the contest. I admired your very poignant message and succinct use of the tanka form. Your alliteration of "r's" intensified the compelling imagery. Keep up the splendid work! Bravo- Joan
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a good description of the artwork and can be a metaphor for life after children grow up and leave the house.
Congratulations on the win
Keep writing
dragonpoet
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This is a good description of the artwork and can be a metaphor for life after children grow up and leave the house.
Congratulations on the win
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
Comment from Joy Graham
This is a lovely tanka :) Congratulations on winning the contest. You have descriptive words that describe the picture perfectly. Your pivot line connects the top section with the bottom section well. Exquisite visuals, and a superb, "wow" feeling.
Sincerely Joy xx
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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This is a lovely tanka :) Congratulations on winning the contest. You have descriptive words that describe the picture perfectly. Your pivot line connects the top section with the bottom section well. Exquisite visuals, and a superb, "wow" feeling.
Sincerely Joy xx
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Thank you so much, Joy. I am so glad you liked it enough to give it a six. Also, thank you for the birthday wishes. This all means a great deal to me. Val
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Val;
-you had broken the mold for a tanka, being observed and read where the pivot line creates two differently, or supposedly, different conceptual themes of thought with a pivot word that is, "empty". is not a line but just one word with two syllables and I thought that was brilliant.
-To me, it seems that the pivot line is the common denominator for the whole poem which is also brilliant.
-congratulations on your first place acknowledgment and also thank you for sharing this wonderful tanka with the rest of us.
Alex
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Cheers, Val;
-you had broken the mold for a tanka, being observed and read where the pivot line creates two differently, or supposedly, different conceptual themes of thought with a pivot word that is, "empty". is not a line but just one word with two syllables and I thought that was brilliant.
-To me, it seems that the pivot line is the common denominator for the whole poem which is also brilliant.
-congratulations on your first place acknowledgment and also thank you for sharing this wonderful tanka with the rest of us.
Alex
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the intelligent and thoughtful review, Ales. This means a great deal to me. Val
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You are very welcome, Val, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment from rama devi
Wow. This is powerful. I can see why it won! Emotionally poignant and intense. Outstanding single-word pivot line. Excellent alliteration of R. Fine presentation. Excellent word economy. Potent closing note. Wow.
Bravo
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Wow. This is powerful. I can see why it won! Emotionally poignant and intense. Outstanding single-word pivot line. Excellent alliteration of R. Fine presentation. Excellent word economy. Potent closing note. Wow.
Bravo
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Thank you once again. Val
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:-))
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Thank you
Comment from Lucian Carter
Beautiful personification. Humans can be empty nesters too, and it can be stark and empty for them as well.When a child grows, they are gone, even if you still know the adult they grow into. This keenly captures that feeling.
I don't know much about Tanka. This seems to fit it fine based on the contest description.
I found it touching. Good luck with it.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2017
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Beautiful personification. Humans can be empty nesters too, and it can be stark and empty for them as well.When a child grows, they are gone, even if you still know the adult they grow into. This keenly captures that feeling.
I don't know much about Tanka. This seems to fit it fine based on the contest description.
I found it touching. Good luck with it.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2017
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I love this review, and you captured my double meaning beautifully. tanka is Japanese Short Form poem or really tanka. It combines nature and human nature, and I have been writing them for a long time. Thank you once again.
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Glad I could help.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The empty shell waiting to be filled. The ghost of life that once was, your poem is food for thought and your resonating words are meloncholy and sad, best wishes, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017
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The empty shell waiting to be filled. The ghost of life that once was, your poem is food for thought and your resonating words are meloncholy and sad, best wishes, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2017
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Thank you for the lovely review. Val
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I liked this piece very much. It is quite stark and the depth is good. A dual meaning in the last two lines gives different interpretations to the piece.
You could remove the title if you wanted as the site already has this up so it's repeated.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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Hi there,
I liked this piece very much. It is quite stark and the depth is good. A dual meaning in the last two lines gives different interpretations to the piece.
You could remove the title if you wanted as the site already has this up so it's repeated.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 20-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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Thank you for the lovely review, and I don't understand "you could remove the title" Yes, I am glad you see the "double meaning" believe me it is totally lost on many.
Comment from JanPerry
I don't use the sixes very often. I love this tanka - it idolizes the real essence of a tanka and indeed poetry in any form.
Repeating the heading is unnecessary, perhaps make more space around the poem for effect.
Thanks.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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I don't use the sixes very often. I love this tanka - it idolizes the real essence of a tanka and indeed poetry in any form.
Repeating the heading is unnecessary, perhaps make more space around the poem for effect.
Thanks.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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Well, thank you very much for the six. I appreciate your support. Also, it's nice to see that someone on this site actually understands what a tanka is. Have a wonderful day.
