JOURNEY OF THE NEW AGE GODDESS
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "En guarde"A series of poems written in a particular style .
8 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
HI Anita, I just got back on the site...I have been off for awhile...visiting my folks...they don't have the net...ouch...LOL...but I am at my daughters now...missed you...this is a truly dark poem my sweet friend...the Goddess in your poem is on the scary side...out for blood...you did an awesome job on it...very well thought of...and very well written...love ya you...Linda xxoo...off to catch up
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2017
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HI Anita, I just got back on the site...I have been off for awhile...visiting my folks...they don't have the net...ouch...LOL...but I am at my daughters now...missed you...this is a truly dark poem my sweet friend...the Goddess in your poem is on the scary side...out for blood...you did an awesome job on it...very well thought of...and very well written...love ya you...Linda xxoo...off to catch up
Comment Written 26-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2017
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Hey Linda, I've been off the site for a while too. This poem was a bit of outpouring of deep places and deepnencounters with scary emotions and encounters with big stuff like your own mortality -Ewww. Scary movie in real life. I got a problem with a valve in my heart and am on the list for surgery in late October - loots of prep and if this chesty flu won't go away they won't do it and so on and so forth - it's only a preliminary to the big one ...... possibly ....... you know.... real certain shit like that. A gastroenterologist (bum doctor) said I wasn't eligible for such an operation and should basically go home and die.
Not a good thing to say to anyone and not to me who suffers depression and Paaannniicckkk AAAAtttttttaaaccckkkkksss!!!!
JAckASSSSS!!!!!!******^^^^^^#####
Anyway -------- Many many many appointments for much blood,as much of my body they can x-ray and scan and MRI - because I have multiple problems and they want to know if there's ANY THING at all - at all - lurking that might give thema fright during the heart op.
Now I know you didn't give me a big spiel about your holiday, but once I got started I just kept writing. It explains my Goddessess state of mind you see. Cheers, I love you too, Anita.
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HI Anita, I don't care what any JACKASSSSS says...God has the last word...and only Him...I am so sorry you are having all these problems sweet girl...you are in my prayers...I know people (more than one) who doctors have told them to call their families in...that it's all over...and years later they are still alive and kicking...
you just pray and hang in there...
for me...I am at my daughters waiting for the worst hurricane in history to hit...
we couldn't get out...they were out of gas...they got more...but not enough to go on the road...it is in God's hands...I know He is here with us...and He will protect us...you take care sweet angel...lots of love...Linda xxoo
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Oh Linda - I'm praying RIGHT NOW and asking my Guardian Angel to send all his angels to You and your family friends and everyone in the path of this destruction.
I know it's in God's hands and I trust Him to keep me safe through all of this. It's my poor mortal body that still has bits of the rabbit left in it and gets scared -haha. I'm OK.
Sending Blessings in a continuous stream, Love and Love, Anita
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Oh Anita, thank you with all my heart sweet girl...we and all in Florida can use your prayers...all we can get...thank you for your Guardian Angels help...Blessings to you as well my sweet friend...love you sooooo lots...xxoo Linda
Comment from angelea paugh
Wow! This captivated me. I have not read any type of Fantasy poetry before. But this sure was a good read for my first one. Your words just kind of carried me along and I was at the end before I knew it!
Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Wow! This captivated me. I have not read any type of Fantasy poetry before. But this sure was a good read for my first one. Your words just kind of carried me along and I was at the end before I knew it!
Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Oh Wow! Thank you angelea paugh. Welcome to the world of fantasy and fantastical things where anything can happen and usually does - it all depends on where your imagination will let you ride :) Cheers, Anita
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So I just tried my first Fantasy poem! I cannot wait to write more. Who knew?
Oh Patricia what a story. I will go listen to your story! Here is my first Fantasy poem. I entered it in a contest. Actually wrote it for THE CONTEST.
The Dragon Story
In a far off land of make believe,
where everything is absolutely true.
There lived a young lad who was always bored,
always looking for something to do.
So one day he wandered off so far,
that he fell off the face of the land.
Right into the very middle,
of this dragon's scaley hand.
It was I in my cave and i was asleep,
not ready for a vistor you see.
But there he was and I looked at him,
and for sure he was surprised by me.
He shook his head and wiped his eyes,
like he thought I would go away.
Then I held up a mirror,
that he could look into....and
what a change he saw that day!
What a mighty mythical creature
stood staring back at him.
For his life was taking a turn...
and he was standing at the very brim.
Boredom is a magical place,
where illusions they become fantasy.
So when you look into that mirror,
take heed.......
For that dragon it may not be me!
Angelea Paugh
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This is my try?
The Dragon Story
In a far off land of make believe,
where everything is absolutely true.
There lived a young lad who was always bored,
always looking for something to do.
So one day he wandered off so far,
that he fell off the face of the land.
Right into the very middle,
of this dragon's scaley hand.
It was I in my cave and i was asleep,
not ready for a vistor you see.
But there he was and I looked at him,
and for sure he was surprised by me.
He shook his head and wiped his eyes,
like he thought I would go away.
Then I held up a mirror,
that he could look into....and
what a change he saw that day!
What a mighty mythical creature
stood staring back at him.
For his life was taking a turn...
and he was standing at the very brim.
Boredom is a magical place,
where illusions they become fantasy.
So when you look into that mirror,
take heed.......
For that dragon it may not be me!
Angelea Paugh
Now I want to write more!
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Yay! Angelea, That's the doorway right there. Have a good time :)
Comment from kiwigirl2821
hi Anio. I'm giving you a five because this is a great write. My only issue is I feel like I could of given it a better critique if I could have read it more clearly. I think either the type or background has to change. If you use red background then the type needs to either be larger or a lighter shade. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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hi Anio. I'm giving you a five because this is a great write. My only issue is I feel like I could of given it a better critique if I could have read it more clearly. I think either the type or background has to change. If you use red background then the type needs to either be larger or a lighter shade. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the tip kiwigirl2821, I do agree.
Thanks for the stars, glad you enjoyed the read, much appreciated, Anio.
Comment from robyn corum
Anio,
I won't lie and say that I understood this poem. *smile* Much of it was well beyond my understanding. I think it's supposed to be tragic and frightening and scary, but I don't understand WHAT it's all about.
You do describe the feelings associated with this event quite well. And the photo accompanying this piece works well to create one seamless presentation. The only thing I might change here is the font - the choice, the size, the boldness. This print doesn't show up too well against the harsh red that you've chosen, so it kinda hurts the eyes as you try to read.
One other note:
1.) The cry rang through her head
And shuddered the bones of her body
And ripped through her Soul
Where (it) danced (a) dance of
The only subject I can see this referring to is the 'cry' that rang through her head. In that case, the above change is needed. If the dancing is done by something else, that needs to be better spelled out/explained.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Anio,
I won't lie and say that I understood this poem. *smile* Much of it was well beyond my understanding. I think it's supposed to be tragic and frightening and scary, but I don't understand WHAT it's all about.
You do describe the feelings associated with this event quite well. And the photo accompanying this piece works well to create one seamless presentation. The only thing I might change here is the font - the choice, the size, the boldness. This print doesn't show up too well against the harsh red that you've chosen, so it kinda hurts the eyes as you try to read.
One other note:
1.) The cry rang through her head
And shuddered the bones of her body
And ripped through her Soul
Where (it) danced (a) dance of
The only subject I can see this referring to is the 'cry' that rang through her head. In that case, the above change is needed. If the dancing is done by something else, that needs to be better spelled out/explained.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Yes of course, I've changed it robyn corum! It's amazing to me how one goes on and on reading the error as though blind - until someone else points it out, thanks.
The poem is about Battle against the Dark Side - against Evil - it's Fantasy - it's a ride of the imagination into places we don't 'normally' go. That's the best I can say about it, Anita.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks about the Goddess who acts good and evil and could take no rest in course of her living as while she takes evil action the work of prayer does not work; I liked.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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This speaks about the Goddess who acts good and evil and could take no rest in course of her living as while she takes evil action the work of prayer does not work; I liked.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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This is correct - the two cannot work at the same time - when Evil pushes forth there is no time to do anything else but deal directly with it. That is the way of things.
Comment from tfawcus
This speaks to me of rape and the victim's reaction to this insidious and most personal invasion and her feelings of murderous revenge. The intensity of feeling is amplified by the use of repetition and by the rhyme scheme. Other options are put forward and discarded in favour of the sword.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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This speaks to me of rape and the victim's reaction to this insidious and most personal invasion and her feelings of murderous revenge. The intensity of feeling is amplified by the use of repetition and by the rhyme scheme. Other options are put forward and discarded in favour of the sword.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2017
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Yes this invasion is exactly like rape and is met with deadly force. Thank you for your insightful review, Anita.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a poem a about a scary woman who seems to have killed men before because maybe one hurt her deeply. She hid this away and something or someone found the button and pushed it and it appeared again. In the beginning it sounded like a remembrance of a past rape.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017
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This is a poem a about a scary woman who seems to have killed men before because maybe one hurt her deeply. She hid this away and something or someone found the button and pushed it and it appeared again. In the beginning it sounded like a remembrance of a past rape.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 20-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017
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A New Age Goddess, like Ancient Ones, is indeed a scary woman who lives in my imagination. As she travels her journey I write it and you see what happens - here's one such thing.
Thanks for your comments and stars. Much appreciated, Anita.
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No problem.
Joan
Comment from Possummagic
Wow that was an amazingly powerful piece of poetry. I felt like I was in the middle of Game of Thrones and I was Lady Breeanne of Tarte, battling with the Lannister. Fantastic use of words and phrases. Good luck!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017
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Wow that was an amazingly powerful piece of poetry. I felt like I was in the middle of Game of Thrones and I was Lady Breeanne of Tarte, battling with the Lannister. Fantastic use of words and phrases. Good luck!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017
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Wow! Thanks Possummagic! My Goddess goes a-journeying in places in my imagination and I just follow along and tell her story. Thanks for the great review, Anita.
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Yourre very welcome. You have a very vivid imagination.😊
