Why don't monsters die
A child's question40 total reviews
Comment from Janilou
It's one of the most horrific things in the world and I will never, never understand it. It was very difficult to read, but very well written. I don't know what else to say. I have no suggestions for corrections or edits. I hope your friend finds peace one day.
Jan
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
It's one of the most horrific things in the world and I will never, never understand it. It was very difficult to read, but very well written. I don't know what else to say. I have no suggestions for corrections or edits. I hope your friend finds peace one day.
Jan
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you very much for an excellent and understanding review****kahpot
Comment from c_lucas
Abusers gain their satisfaction from making the victims live a life of fear. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
Abusers gain their satisfaction from making the victims live a life of fear. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you very much****kahpot
Comment from artemis53
I could feel the rage of 'righteous indignation' in this piece that was so very appropriate. Some live charmed lives and others do not carrying their burdens for years and you have defined this pain exquisitely. There is "a life for a life' and justice will eventually be rendered. Your friend was extremely brave and strong to impart her story to you and you put it down in words. Sometimes to cure our demons we must expose them to the light since they thrive in darkened places.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
I could feel the rage of 'righteous indignation' in this piece that was so very appropriate. Some live charmed lives and others do not carrying their burdens for years and you have defined this pain exquisitely. There is "a life for a life' and justice will eventually be rendered. Your friend was extremely brave and strong to impart her story to you and you put it down in words. Sometimes to cure our demons we must expose them to the light since they thrive in darkened places.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you very much, and yes your words are very true****kahpot
Comment from rama devi
This is powerful and well voiced with unique style. I like your choice to avoid end-line punctuation and caps. however, the flow is awkward in some lines due to missing in-line commas (suggestions below)
It's such a potent theme and subject. Only those who have been through it can truly grasp how devastating it is, but your poem conveys it really well. The rhymes are good--some quite inventive!
I like your unique choice of using ***** instead of line breaks.
Here are my suggestions for your consideration:
*
deeper, they grow(,) than fear or pain
*
you raped my body(,) scarred my mind
and left your presence for all to find
*
your mind's not right(,) I do not care
*
my life(,) you ended(;) yours must too
judgment(,) I give without reserve
My only other suggestion is to consider not using reverse syntax unless you use the above commas.
This is a memorable work.
Well presented too.
Wow--that's an intense closing note:
no longer a life do you deserve
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
This is powerful and well voiced with unique style. I like your choice to avoid end-line punctuation and caps. however, the flow is awkward in some lines due to missing in-line commas (suggestions below)
It's such a potent theme and subject. Only those who have been through it can truly grasp how devastating it is, but your poem conveys it really well. The rhymes are good--some quite inventive!
I like your unique choice of using ***** instead of line breaks.
Here are my suggestions for your consideration:
*
deeper, they grow(,) than fear or pain
*
you raped my body(,) scarred my mind
and left your presence for all to find
*
your mind's not right(,) I do not care
*
my life(,) you ended(;) yours must too
judgment(,) I give without reserve
My only other suggestion is to consider not using reverse syntax unless you use the above commas.
This is a memorable work.
Well presented too.
Wow--that's an intense closing note:
no longer a life do you deserve
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Wow thank you very much, this is a very helpful and inspiring review you have awarded me, I will use your comments many thanks****kahpot
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Thanks for your wonderfully enthusiastic and gracious response! Happy to help.
:-))))
Warmly, rd
Comment from Kazzawin
This very moving account of sexual abuse harbours all the anger, hurt, shame and lifelong mistrust of others that is the very essence of the crime.
I have often wondered how sentences are decided...how can anyone begin to understand the life sentence the victim has to endure. Appropriate punishment would go a long way toward getting that victim gingerly onto the path of healing.
A difficult read but well written and thought provoking.
Thank you : )
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
This very moving account of sexual abuse harbours all the anger, hurt, shame and lifelong mistrust of others that is the very essence of the crime.
I have often wondered how sentences are decided...how can anyone begin to understand the life sentence the victim has to endure. Appropriate punishment would go a long way toward getting that victim gingerly onto the path of healing.
A difficult read but well written and thought provoking.
Thank you : )
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you very much for this understanding and excellent review****kahpot
Comment from Mistydawn
What an emotional poem. I could feel the pain, the anguish, the disgust, hate the sorrow throughout your poem. It isn't right that they get to walk free while their victim has to suffer the consequence.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
What an emotional poem. I could feel the pain, the anguish, the disgust, hate the sorrow throughout your poem. It isn't right that they get to walk free while their victim has to suffer the consequence.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you very much****kahpot
Comment from Irish Rain
It is a tragic 'sign of the times' when the victim is not only traumatized, but the criminal goes free. Indeed, they are idolized in rap songs. Tragic. Wonderful poem, blessings...
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
It is a tragic 'sign of the times' when the victim is not only traumatized, but the criminal goes free. Indeed, they are idolized in rap songs. Tragic. Wonderful poem, blessings...
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you for an excellent review****kahpot
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I wish I had a 6 left to give you. This poem is brilliant, and I so agree with you. Prison does nothing to stop these vile creatures, they should be castrated immediately. They are the scum of the earth. Well done, this is a powerful and heart-wrenching poem. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
I wish I had a 6 left to give you. This poem is brilliant, and I so agree with you. Prison does nothing to stop these vile creatures, they should be castrated immediately. They are the scum of the earth. Well done, this is a powerful and heart-wrenching poem. Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you for an excellent and understanding review****kahpot
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes my friend rapists are monsters they ruin the lives of youngsters leaving scars that sometimes do not heal , they make the victims feel as if they are in the wrong that it was their fault just to get there pleasure , I hope they all burn in hell for eternity well done my friend regards Jill
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
Yes my friend rapists are monsters they ruin the lives of youngsters leaving scars that sometimes do not heal , they make the victims feel as if they are in the wrong that it was their fault just to get there pleasure , I hope they all burn in hell for eternity well done my friend regards Jill
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you for an excellent and understanding review****kahpot
Comment from Fridayauthor
This is very harsh indeed, with no doubt about the true feelings of the author. The intensity of the piece flows from the very opening to the end, remaining strong throughout.
Very well done and easy to read and understand.
Excellent posting with a good image to go with it.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
This is very harsh indeed, with no doubt about the true feelings of the author. The intensity of the piece flows from the very opening to the end, remaining strong throughout.
Very well done and easy to read and understand.
Excellent posting with a good image to go with it.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thank you for an excellent review****kahpot