Apartment Manager
the urge to kill17 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Warren
That guy would drive a saint to drink, and I think every apartment has one just like him. I don't think auto pay would help much. Perhaps Janice needs a crowbar to pry the rent out of him. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017
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That guy would drive a saint to drink, and I think every apartment has one just like him. I don't think auto pay would help much. Perhaps Janice needs a crowbar to pry the rent out of him. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017
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you made me laugh. I think you're right. thanks.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
A little dark humor thrown into this posting for good measure.
He must be the world's biggest klutz, no doubt.
Should make an interesting entry into this contest.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017
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A little dark humor thrown into this posting for good measure.
He must be the world's biggest klutz, no doubt.
Should make an interesting entry into this contest.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017
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we shall see.
thanks
Comment from trumby
Very good way of developing the story.
Janice really is a kind soul, isn't she?
She was playing "Piggy In The Middle" for a very long time there. Just trying to keep everything balanced and keeping everyone happy.
Actually, I expected her to move Mr. Furberger into HER apartment for awhile there
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017
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Very good way of developing the story.
Janice really is a kind soul, isn't she?
She was playing "Piggy In The Middle" for a very long time there. Just trying to keep everything balanced and keeping everyone happy.
Actually, I expected her to move Mr. Furberger into HER apartment for awhile there
Comment Written 13-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017
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you made me laugh at that last remark. Aren't you funny! Have to admit that never occurred to me.
I guess "piggy in the middle" is an Australian phrase, but I get your point.
thank you for the neat review and comments. am going to check out your posts.
Comment from Spitfire
This is hilarious. You have a gift for humor too. Smooth answers and use of self-talk to characterize Janice and her outer and inner conflict. Favorite lines:
But guess what, Mr. F, that old devil, rent?
I'm not particularly thrilled to be thirty-nine today, anyway
"Hello, Mom? It's your daughter, Ebenezette Scrooge calling.
What happened? door unlocked... beat you with a tire iron... loan shark?
I deeply regret I have no sixes left, but I'm guessing you'll win this contest.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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This is hilarious. You have a gift for humor too. Smooth answers and use of self-talk to characterize Janice and her outer and inner conflict. Favorite lines:
But guess what, Mr. F, that old devil, rent?
I'm not particularly thrilled to be thirty-nine today, anyway
"Hello, Mom? It's your daughter, Ebenezette Scrooge calling.
What happened? door unlocked... beat you with a tire iron... loan shark?
I deeply regret I have no sixes left, but I'm guessing you'll win this contest.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Bless you! I really appreciate your kind words!
I love dialogue. sometimes I'm long on it and a little short on plot. :)
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I didn't see that in this piece.
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thanks. good.
Comment from robyn corum
Katharine,
I can see how the above image would have you thinking of someone on the phone and discouraged and frustrated. You bring these emotions to life beautifully in this piece. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Katharine,
I can see how the above image would have you thinking of someone on the phone and discouraged and frustrated. You bring these emotions to life beautifully in this piece. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 12-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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thanks, Robyn! appreciate it!
Comment from mmonaghan777
Wow! What a great beginning, middle frustrations and ending. I can see Janice either writing the emails or being surprised every time Mr. F calls. Loved it.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Wow! What a great beginning, middle frustrations and ending. I can see Janice either writing the emails or being surprised every time Mr. F calls. Loved it.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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thanks. so glad you liked it!
Comment from apky
This was certainly humorous.
I can really imagine this happening in real life and there could be people out there who are as prone to accidents. Or as patient as the manager.
(H)ha ha, just kidding
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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This was certainly humorous.
I can really imagine this happening in real life and there could be people out there who are as prone to accidents. Or as patient as the manager.
(H)ha ha, just kidding
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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that's the fun of writing fiction.
Read you r bio. I self published a middlegrade book and I chose the wrong people to do it. Be careful who you choose.
Comment from MJ McIntire
I could sense the frustration Janice had in dealing with Mr. F.
I like the way the conversations read, it made it easy to envision a person on the other end of the line.
Every time the conversation ended between Janice and Mr. F, I kept wondering what could possibly happen to this man next.
MJ
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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I could sense the frustration Janice had in dealing with Mr. F.
I like the way the conversations read, it made it easy to envision a person on the other end of the line.
Every time the conversation ended between Janice and Mr. F, I kept wondering what could possibly happen to this man next.
MJ
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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thanks. your last sentence made me laugh.
I hope I didn't make it where Mr. F's accidents kept the reader from noticing Janice's character traits.
Comment from lydia2013
Hi Pome Lover,
I loved the one sided conversations and how you were able to convey so much information, and it was quite funny too.
My suggestions, in keeping with your style, is that at the hair styling appt. you retain that style and not give us this direction, "Janice and her mom have just had their massages and are reclining beside each other, eyes closed, getting facials." Put a time like, "later that day" or "5:45" or something, then continue with the dialogue. In the same passage, instead of saying, "silence" just start with her saying "mom?" and we will still get the same information.
Thanks for a great read!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Hi Pome Lover,
I loved the one sided conversations and how you were able to convey so much information, and it was quite funny too.
My suggestions, in keeping with your style, is that at the hair styling appt. you retain that style and not give us this direction, "Janice and her mom have just had their massages and are reclining beside each other, eyes closed, getting facials." Put a time like, "later that day" or "5:45" or something, then continue with the dialogue. In the same passage, instead of saying, "silence" just start with her saying "mom?" and we will still get the same information.
Thanks for a great read!
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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very good suggestions! many thanks!
PL
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I'm glad that I could make a suggestion!
Comment from Marvin Calloway
This is an interesting story. It grabbed me right away and held me til the end. There's a generous amount of humor in it. It's well-written and flows well.
Janice may be the more interesting character. Is that okay?
Good luck.
Marv
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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This is an interesting story. It grabbed me right away and held me til the end. There's a generous amount of humor in it. It's well-written and flows well.
Janice may be the more interesting character. Is that okay?
Good luck.
Marv
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Janice is THE character. the picture looks like it could be either female or male to me.
Many, many thanks for the great review!
I hope the pix looks like either/or to others
