Miscellaneous Poems Vol 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "My loving heart"More poems
21 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
I'm sorry I don't have a sixer for you. This is excellent. All species, humans, animals, deserve dignity and compassion. This is a very good entry for the contest and I wish you much luck in it. Marilyn
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017
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I'm sorry I don't have a sixer for you. This is excellent. All species, humans, animals, deserve dignity and compassion. This is a very good entry for the contest and I wish you much luck in it. Marilyn
Comment Written 14-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much for the kind words, Marilyn. I Appreciate the thoughtful review. Craig
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Craig,
I would say that met all of the requirements for this freestyle contest, albeit with a sarcastic tone, but one that conveyed your feelings of the use of animals and the indifference of human nature. I think that I've have to say that man progressed using the resources that he had at hand and surely wouldn't be where he is today without the use of animals as meat and hides for skins/clothing adaptations. Perhaps, with the availability of synthetic materials these days that is no longer necessary, however, I'd have to say that I admire a culture that would use the offering of that animal in its entirety and not be wasteful when its life is taken, but like the Indians and other indigenous cultures, using all of the resources in their entirety and giving thanks for the sacrifice.
I do appreciate your perspective and they way you've made it your own in this freestyle poem delivery. Good luck in the contest!
Kim
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Hi Craig,
I would say that met all of the requirements for this freestyle contest, albeit with a sarcastic tone, but one that conveyed your feelings of the use of animals and the indifference of human nature. I think that I've have to say that man progressed using the resources that he had at hand and surely wouldn't be where he is today without the use of animals as meat and hides for skins/clothing adaptations. Perhaps, with the availability of synthetic materials these days that is no longer necessary, however, I'd have to say that I admire a culture that would use the offering of that animal in its entirety and not be wasteful when its life is taken, but like the Indians and other indigenous cultures, using all of the resources in their entirety and giving thanks for the sacrifice.
I do appreciate your perspective and they way you've made it your own in this freestyle poem delivery. Good luck in the contest!
Kim
Comment Written 12-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Hi Kim,
I'm certain the victim isn't at all impressed by the giving of thanks. In fact, I'm pretty certain no one is, other than the giver. Nor am I persuaded by arguments that we couldn't have found a better way. Perhaps if we didn't find the killing of other species so effortless, we would give more thought to the destruction of our own. Of course, everyone has their own opinion, and is entitled to express it. Thanks for reviewing.
Craig
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Sorry to disappoint, I don't think primitive man was capable of anything other than what he had at hand. Tradition grew from there. Man, by nature, is not a peaceful creature. That may be sad, but I think it is true.
I hope you are well. I'm back to the garden.
Kim
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Hi
Really enjoyed this heartfelt, compassionate poem, which flowed effortlessly,
lovely rhythm and lines throughout, stitched fantastically well
which enables your words to sell themselves to the reader.
I particularly enjoyed the imagery shown which paints such a vivid picture in the mind......an excellent poem, that was a pleasure to read.
Mitchell.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Hi
Really enjoyed this heartfelt, compassionate poem, which flowed effortlessly,
lovely rhythm and lines throughout, stitched fantastically well
which enables your words to sell themselves to the reader.
I particularly enjoyed the imagery shown which paints such a vivid picture in the mind......an excellent poem, that was a pleasure to read.
Mitchell.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thank you, Mitchell, for your very kind words - they are much appreciated. Craig
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, My Loving Heart, takes the satirical road as you lampoon people who care for human life but seem unaware of the cost to animals. That is, of course, always going to be a point of debate.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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This poem, My Loving Heart, takes the satirical road as you lampoon people who care for human life but seem unaware of the cost to animals. That is, of course, always going to be a point of debate.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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It's not a point of debate in my house. Thanks for reviewing, your comments are appreciated :) Craig
Comment from Irish Rain
Oh my. Wish I had a six for you. Such a sweetly horrible poem, the cost of our self-centeredness. I love all the little animals, and big animals, I don't even like to step on a bug. I catch bees, and put them outside. But....I still eat a cheeseburger. Oh, my. A wonderful awakening!! Blessings....
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Oh my. Wish I had a six for you. Such a sweetly horrible poem, the cost of our self-centeredness. I love all the little animals, and big animals, I don't even like to step on a bug. I catch bees, and put them outside. But....I still eat a cheeseburger. Oh, my. A wonderful awakening!! Blessings....
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for the lovely review. The virtual six is very much appreciated. :) Craig
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You're most welcome Mr. Craig!!
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi, Craig,
Read through this contest entry--actually read it when it first came out, but have been playing catch up with a great many things, and wanted to be seated in a quiet place when I typed my review--and my thoughts are,
Wowza! This poem is like a semi-truck full of elephants driving through a Sunday morning barbecue picnic. Potent such that it's been a few days and a few times of me reading it, and mentally I'd be driving and composing my thoughts on this poem.
This poem does well to take a baseball bat to the human conscience.
With great effect, the contradictions and exposures leave an unsettling discomfort in looking at the human desire to celebrate how wonderful they are as humans to have compassion and empathy, only to highlight the tininess that is the circle of human compassion via mass exclusion. Also, the weird dichotomy to coo over creatures while dooming them in the same breath. I love the bunny Sue, but unnamed lab bunny X-124 ... don't really want to think about her.
Compassion--it's probably really not much more than a survival grease that allows humans to live in a herd, thus increasing the probability of survival, while simultaneously allowing that herd to be able to still slaughter the 'other' herd over the hill.
Part of the deal is distancing. Even an avid meat-eater might say 'hey' if a cow, lamb, rabbit is being cruelly abused on their front lawn. The further the creature and its suffering is, the less it is noticed and the benefits dissociated.
It's not just applied to eating animals that are not human, but to the luke-warm outrage that one might experience for people dying horribly, just so you can buy jeans that are 'pre-faded.' Many examples, but the passion in this poem is directed to the suffering of creatures that can't voice otherwise, that end up on a plate, or used without consideration.
Through this poem, the use of exaggeration -- how people use power words like 'love' and 'hate' to express mediocre, or base pleasures -- while also using the words to capture a deeper, unique human condition, that kinda falls short on ideals to celebrate.
This poem plops the ugliness of lack of compassion, right on a contest that might have the spin of celebrating it. Thus... leaving a sense of how fickle human compassion is.
The only thing I thought to consider suggesting for changing... which I'd understand if you didn't, but had the thought... the lines...
I wonder if she knows
I love her
being blinded to ensure
my perfume is safe.
Which I wondered, I don't know if anyone loves that an animal is blinded... the way it is stated, which doesn't capture the dichotomy in the same way as the first three sets. Maybe instead of 'being' ... 'as she's?'
I love her
as she's blinded to ensure
my perfume is safe.
A subtle change, but it would continue the pattern as the others. Though, the next step of a direct applying of love to the suffering has effects too.
Well done with this poem. Though it makes me sad, because I do eat meat, I appreciate the thought processes sparked to take steps toward less and less.
I also like that for not seeming to have the fire of inspiration, this poem came out scorching. And a message was planted in all those who's eyes touched this poem, be it if they like the message or not, they felt it.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Hi, Craig,
Read through this contest entry--actually read it when it first came out, but have been playing catch up with a great many things, and wanted to be seated in a quiet place when I typed my review--and my thoughts are,
Wowza! This poem is like a semi-truck full of elephants driving through a Sunday morning barbecue picnic. Potent such that it's been a few days and a few times of me reading it, and mentally I'd be driving and composing my thoughts on this poem.
This poem does well to take a baseball bat to the human conscience.
With great effect, the contradictions and exposures leave an unsettling discomfort in looking at the human desire to celebrate how wonderful they are as humans to have compassion and empathy, only to highlight the tininess that is the circle of human compassion via mass exclusion. Also, the weird dichotomy to coo over creatures while dooming them in the same breath. I love the bunny Sue, but unnamed lab bunny X-124 ... don't really want to think about her.
Compassion--it's probably really not much more than a survival grease that allows humans to live in a herd, thus increasing the probability of survival, while simultaneously allowing that herd to be able to still slaughter the 'other' herd over the hill.
Part of the deal is distancing. Even an avid meat-eater might say 'hey' if a cow, lamb, rabbit is being cruelly abused on their front lawn. The further the creature and its suffering is, the less it is noticed and the benefits dissociated.
It's not just applied to eating animals that are not human, but to the luke-warm outrage that one might experience for people dying horribly, just so you can buy jeans that are 'pre-faded.' Many examples, but the passion in this poem is directed to the suffering of creatures that can't voice otherwise, that end up on a plate, or used without consideration.
Through this poem, the use of exaggeration -- how people use power words like 'love' and 'hate' to express mediocre, or base pleasures -- while also using the words to capture a deeper, unique human condition, that kinda falls short on ideals to celebrate.
This poem plops the ugliness of lack of compassion, right on a contest that might have the spin of celebrating it. Thus... leaving a sense of how fickle human compassion is.
The only thing I thought to consider suggesting for changing... which I'd understand if you didn't, but had the thought... the lines...
I wonder if she knows
I love her
being blinded to ensure
my perfume is safe.
Which I wondered, I don't know if anyone loves that an animal is blinded... the way it is stated, which doesn't capture the dichotomy in the same way as the first three sets. Maybe instead of 'being' ... 'as she's?'
I love her
as she's blinded to ensure
my perfume is safe.
A subtle change, but it would continue the pattern as the others. Though, the next step of a direct applying of love to the suffering has effects too.
Well done with this poem. Though it makes me sad, because I do eat meat, I appreciate the thought processes sparked to take steps toward less and less.
I also like that for not seeming to have the fire of inspiration, this poem came out scorching. And a message was planted in all those who's eyes touched this poem, be it if they like the message or not, they felt it.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Hi Turtle,
You constantly put me to shame (and I think pretty much everyone else on this site) with the conscientiousness you bring to your reviewing. Thank you for your insightful comments. And your observation is right - distancing is everything. We have evolved to become experts at it.
I wasn't totally happy myself with the bunny bit - so I'll probably revisit it later and make a change something along the lines of your suggestion.
I really appreciate the time you take to understand and comment.
Craig
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Thanks, Craig,
I appreciate you saying so. I think you have a lot of passion and talent, and that makes thinking through your work a treat.
Comment from strandregs
Ow ow owch
Steping on holy toes.
Lovely question .but afraid all sides are bunkered in their beliefs so jolly hunting and being hinted.
Great to be back.xx. Z :-))
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Ow ow owch
Steping on holy toes.
Lovely question .but afraid all sides are bunkered in their beliefs so jolly hunting and being hinted.
Great to be back.xx. Z :-))
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Haha thanks for reviewing - it's been a while since I've felt the inclination to put pen to paper - or electron to LCD monitor :)
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Interestingly i couldnt write anything for over a month.
I wonder if its the hole in the ozone or the alignment of pluto with that mysterious
Mass they cant find.
Thanks for the bloose typo.Z.:-)).
Comment from sueseagull
Hmm.. This is very different perspective from any of the other entries. It presents a profound conundrum that really makes you think. Thanks for the interesting read. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Hmm.. This is very different perspective from any of the other entries. It presents a profound conundrum that really makes you think. Thanks for the interesting read. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the kind words and the good wishes. Both are gratefully received. Craig
Comment from jaded831
Your poem is has a great deal of truth, I gave you five stars, for your writing. It is a well written poem. I am not crazy about being reminded of the plight of animals and the human race. I know that is a reality. I must admit your poem is unique.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Your poem is has a great deal of truth, I gave you five stars, for your writing. It is a well written poem. I am not crazy about being reminded of the plight of animals and the human race. I know that is a reality. I must admit your poem is unique.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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I don't imagine the animals are crazy about it either. Thanks for reviewing, and for appreciating the writing. Craig
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a poem of comparisons Craig, (good to hear from you again). I wasn't sure which way you were going till the third verse, and though rabbits are an introduced pest this still is horrific in today's world. A finish with a bit of sarcasm for your love, compassion and kindness entry.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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This is a poem of comparisons Craig, (good to hear from you again). I wasn't sure which way you were going till the third verse, and though rabbits are an introduced pest this still is horrific in today's world. A finish with a bit of sarcasm for your love, compassion and kindness entry.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much Valda. It's good to hear from you. It's not the rabbits' fault the were introduced - I don't believe they had much say in the matter :) Cheers, Craig
