The Cage
escaping the cage6 total reviews
Comment from nor84
I wanted to give you a heads-up review. Contest requires someone to shout "Stop!" Saying it may not be enough. Here are the rules: Write a story of any type. But at someone point your character must shout Stop!
Good luck in the contest.
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I wanted to give you a heads-up review. Contest requires someone to shout "Stop!" Saying it may not be enough. Here are the rules: Write a story of any type. But at someone point your character must shout Stop!
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2017
Comment from Thal1959
It took me a few moments, but I think I get the gist of the story. She felt the tiger was submissive and ashamed for not fighting. She decided to do what she wanted and then left - refusing to be caged in that relationship.
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It took me a few moments, but I think I get the gist of the story. She felt the tiger was submissive and ashamed for not fighting. She decided to do what she wanted and then left - refusing to be caged in that relationship.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2017
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks a character of a woman (or girl) who in love after sometime she entered a room and got naked as he wanted her so, he grabbed her hair but she felt no interest and left, nothing happens as one wishes; I liked.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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This speaks a character of a woman (or girl) who in love after sometime she entered a room and got naked as he wanted her so, he grabbed her hair but she felt no interest and left, nothing happens as one wishes; I liked.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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Thank you, ,.your time and kind words are much appreciated
Comment from Poetic Friend
Interesting story. I love the way you used the word "stop." it suited the storyline.
Also, I like the significance of the tiger -- its movement, its eyes, and its strength.
Based upon the way you described the main character in the story, perhaps she is the tiger.
I love the ending.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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Interesting story. I love the way you used the word "stop." it suited the storyline.
Also, I like the significance of the tiger -- its movement, its eyes, and its strength.
Based upon the way you described the main character in the story, perhaps she is the tiger.
I love the ending.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Comment from rheabug
This is a excellent post for the contest. I did not see any need for any edits on this presentation. The imagery was also a nice addition to the post. Keep on writing with your gifted pen! HUG.......
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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This is a excellent post for the contest. I did not see any need for any edits on this presentation. The imagery was also a nice addition to the post. Keep on writing with your gifted pen! HUG.......
Comment Written 01-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much for taking. The time. To read my story .you. kind words are music to my ear
Comment from Sis Cat
This is an excellent, inventive story inspired by the prompt. Your descriptions of this woman's actions and thoughts drew me into your story. I wanted to know who she was and what she was up to. I read on through your twists and turns.
I like the directness of your prose and descriptions that paint a picture. This is one of my favorite lines for the images it evoked:
From behind bars the story changes. She blew smoke in the tiger's face--he did not flinch. He looked at her as if the smoke was punishment he had to bear for not fighting.
I did find a couple of spelling and punctuation errors:
"In frustration" not "AIn frustration."
"(S)top!" she said before hanging up.
Also, some of your sentences could be combined into paragraphs, for example:
The zoo was packed with too many mothers herding misbehaving children. Children are not allowed to stick fingers in their nose in public. But, here in this foreign land, none of the mothers knew or cared.
This reads better because you group lines into one scene or action. Right now, you have too many one-line paragraphs that could be combined.
Other that that, I found this a most entertaining story. I also love your metaphor at the end:
She didn't want to be the tiger. But, maybe she was...
Thank you for sharing. I wish you contest success.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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This is an excellent, inventive story inspired by the prompt. Your descriptions of this woman's actions and thoughts drew me into your story. I wanted to know who she was and what she was up to. I read on through your twists and turns.
I like the directness of your prose and descriptions that paint a picture. This is one of my favorite lines for the images it evoked:
From behind bars the story changes. She blew smoke in the tiger's face--he did not flinch. He looked at her as if the smoke was punishment he had to bear for not fighting.
I did find a couple of spelling and punctuation errors:
"In frustration" not "AIn frustration."
"(S)top!" she said before hanging up.
Also, some of your sentences could be combined into paragraphs, for example:
The zoo was packed with too many mothers herding misbehaving children. Children are not allowed to stick fingers in their nose in public. But, here in this foreign land, none of the mothers knew or cared.
This reads better because you group lines into one scene or action. Right now, you have too many one-line paragraphs that could be combined.
Other that that, I found this a most entertaining story. I also love your metaphor at the end:
She didn't want to be the tiger. But, maybe she was...
Thank you for sharing. I wish you contest success.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my work. I'm delighted you liked it and thanks for catching the spags
