Childhood Dreams
a sonnet for the young and young at heart36 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Very, very nice. All little girls should have a dad who stays. The image is gorgeous and your sonnet describes the scene and tells a story. I see you won the contest with this fine entry. Congratulations. Marilyn
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Very, very nice. All little girls should have a dad who stays. The image is gorgeous and your sonnet describes the scene and tells a story. I see you won the contest with this fine entry. Congratulations. Marilyn
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much,Marilyn, for sharing my sonnet and your applause. This one was truly a labor of love and I am thrilled by the reception it has received. Rod
Comment from Cycler
Beautiful, dreamy flow. You've very nice visual effects with your words and phrasingm. I felt like I was watching a youngster enjoying summer and being emersed with fantasy.
Nice; soothing verse
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Beautiful, dreamy flow. You've very nice visual effects with your words and phrasingm. I felt like I was watching a youngster enjoying summer and being emersed with fantasy.
Nice; soothing verse
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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I am delighted you enjoyed my sonnet. Many thanks for sharing and your kind praise. Rod
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Poem! The author's words are creative, delightful and interesting.
The artwork is perfect and compliments both the words and theme of this poem.
I pondered on the last stanza which brought back memories. Thank you......
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Excellent Poem! The author's words are creative, delightful and interesting.
The artwork is perfect and compliments both the words and theme of this poem.
I pondered on the last stanza which brought back memories. Thank you......
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you, harmony, for sharing my sonnet. I am delighted you enjoyed both it and the artwork and truly appreciate your kind praise. Rod
Comment from patcelaw
What a blessing it is to know that even in our days of old age we can dream of better things. I am now 79 years young and still dream of wonders as if I were ten again. Congrats on the winning sonnet. it is beautifully written and presented. Patricia
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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What a blessing it is to know that even in our days of old age we can dream of better things. I am now 79 years young and still dream of wonders as if I were ten again. Congrats on the winning sonnet. it is beautifully written and presented. Patricia
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Ah, Patricia, I am delighted you can relate to my sonnet so easily. Thank you for your very kind praise and the congrats. Rod
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
This is a great poem of childhood memories , told in a upbeat voice,
with a sturdy rhyme scheme and great images.
I loved the picture painted, so original and hit the theme right on the head.
It's harder and harder to come up with those but you have come up trumps.
Mitchell
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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This is a great poem of childhood memories , told in a upbeat voice,
with a sturdy rhyme scheme and great images.
I loved the picture painted, so original and hit the theme right on the head.
It's harder and harder to come up with those but you have come up trumps.
Mitchell
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Mitchell, I am delighted you enjoyed both the picture and the poem. I also very much appreciate your very kind praise. Rod
Comment from robina1978
Great artwork that complements your poem perfectly. I especially that it is a different from a love Sonnet. No faults found. Did you get the first place with this one. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Great artwork that complements your poem perfectly. I especially that it is a different from a love Sonnet. No faults found. Did you get the first place with this one. Congratulations.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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I am delighted you enjoyed my poem and the artwork, robina. I was most fortunate to win the contest. Rod
Comment from rama devi
Hi Rod! Congrats on winning the contest. What a nice sonnet...and lovely presentation. Flawless meter, inventive rhyme (love revert and shirt! Bravo!)
Favorite lines;
the waif in scruffy jeans and washed-thin shirt
who climbed to cloud-touched branches of a tree.
No big nits, but there is a typo here:
*spag
t(T)he waif in scruffy jeans and washed-thin shirt
Suggestion:
To that intrepid dreamer(,) I revert.
Superb alliteration of P, H, W, G and S in this stanza:
Perched high above a canopy of green,
I peer at mountain peaks half-drowned in haze
and wonder whether pixies I'd not seen
sketched them at break of day with sun-warmed glaze.
Lovely imagery too Loved reading that aloud!
I enjoyed the flow and feeling of this stanza, too, as well as the alliteration of P, S, D and L and consonance of L and S, etc.:
From here I see a Never-Never land
where tiny dinosaurs and parrots play
on beaches filled with shells and soft white sand
and lonely girls like me have dads that stay.
Pitch perfect closing couplet:
How wonderful if we could dream again
wild fantasies like those when we were ten.
This nears a six, but i have none left, alas.
Lovely work with fine narrative flow and metrical cadences.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Hi Rod! Congrats on winning the contest. What a nice sonnet...and lovely presentation. Flawless meter, inventive rhyme (love revert and shirt! Bravo!)
Favorite lines;
the waif in scruffy jeans and washed-thin shirt
who climbed to cloud-touched branches of a tree.
No big nits, but there is a typo here:
*spag
t(T)he waif in scruffy jeans and washed-thin shirt
Suggestion:
To that intrepid dreamer(,) I revert.
Superb alliteration of P, H, W, G and S in this stanza:
Perched high above a canopy of green,
I peer at mountain peaks half-drowned in haze
and wonder whether pixies I'd not seen
sketched them at break of day with sun-warmed glaze.
Lovely imagery too Loved reading that aloud!
I enjoyed the flow and feeling of this stanza, too, as well as the alliteration of P, S, D and L and consonance of L and S, etc.:
From here I see a Never-Never land
where tiny dinosaurs and parrots play
on beaches filled with shells and soft white sand
and lonely girls like me have dads that stay.
Pitch perfect closing couplet:
How wonderful if we could dream again
wild fantasies like those when we were ten.
This nears a six, but i have none left, alas.
Lovely work with fine narrative flow and metrical cadences.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Rama, I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to comment IN DEPTH on my sonnet. I truly appreciate your profuse praise and your suggestions. Rod
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Thanks for your gracious response, Rod.
Warm smiles, rd
Comment from honeytree
The art work was really
great for these words
Our childhood dreams
are very special to us all
in every way.
The poet has written
these words very well.
Honey tree
I have no six left
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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The art work was really
great for these words
Our childhood dreams
are very special to us all
in every way.
The poet has written
these words very well.
Honey tree
I have no six left
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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I was very fortunate to find this marvelous painting which inspired the sonnet, Honey tree. Thank you so much for sharing and for your kind praise. Rod
Comment from Heather Knight
This is a lovely poem. I like the way you look back on your childhood and wish you could go back:
How wonderful if we could dream again
wild fantasies like those when we were ten.
You recreated the atmosphere of your young years very vividly.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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This is a lovely poem. I like the way you look back on your childhood and wish you could go back:
How wonderful if we could dream again
wild fantasies like those when we were ten.
You recreated the atmosphere of your young years very vividly.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Maria, for sharing my sonnet and for your very kind praise. Rod
Comment from Ben Colder
Excellent Sonnet. I find nothing wrong. Excellent entry and it should do well. Here is a strong phrase. Perched high above a canopy of green, Good choice of words.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Excellent Sonnet. I find nothing wrong. Excellent entry and it should do well. Here is a strong phrase. Perched high above a canopy of green, Good choice of words.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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I am delighted you enjoyed my sonnet, Ben. Thanks for sharing and your kind praise. Rod
