Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Chapter Elf part eins"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

30 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Yes, I'd like to know that too. But if I know Shana, it's because it's a family heirloom, and was stolen during that terrible time the Jews suffered in the war. Of course she wants it back. I think her father realises that happiness doesn't always come with possessions, especially after living through that holocaust. Well done, my friend, another lovely part. I did enjoy it. :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
    Thank you for your encouraging review.
Comment from mbroyles2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sorry for the late response. Work has been brutal and there is no let up in sight.
You moved the story along very well here, and asked a question at the end that has us all wondering, "why is this painting so important?"
Michael

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
    I understand. I struggle writing and reviewing during the school year. My first graders take all my time. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mk15191
Excellent
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The content was very engaging. This chapter is all I have read of the story so far and makes me want to read the back story to find out... Was this a Nazi painting, how much is it worth, why are people obsessed with owning it, and why would turning over the painting make someone look guilty if everyone knows that person has it? In short, it reads well even apart from the other chapters.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
    Some of your questions were answered in an earlier post Thank you for the kind reviewl.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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This is about the end of the issue, returning of the relics, Shana is surprised at their activities, how they could wage war over a painting; Philip doubts and speaks something different to Shana if really her father wants to get it back or it is important to Shana; I liked.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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Oh my, that was exciting and quite scary. I understand Shana's concern but got a kick out of Philip's sense of humor. I would be scared too and Philip's question is a good one. I wonder why her father didn't show the same interest in the painting. I look forward to her answer.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
    I hope we get an answer to Philip's question soon. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dweigt
Excellent
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Good work. I liked how Jane distracted Emily.

I think you may have cut the scene too short. This seemed like an opportunity to raise the tension before letting the police chopper chase them off.

One minor spag: "What if they repelled onto the patio?" - should be rappeled or rappelled.

Keep writing!

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
    I was wondering about putting more in, but I wasn't sure what else would be realistic. Thank you for the kind review. I will fix that error.
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent
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Yes, Shana, why is that painting important to you?

Speaking from experience, I had a father who was also a potter. One day, someone walked into his gallery and stole his "Detroit Madonna" sculpture off the pedestal. An article was placed in the newspaper in which the police asked the public for information about the sculpture. Even though this theft happened thirty years ago and my father is dead, I still want the sculpture back. It is part of my family and my heritage. So I can imagine Shana's motives, but, knowing you, you will surprise me with something I have not foreseen.

When I read the closing scene of your previous chapter and the opening scene of your new one, I was alarmed by the helicopter. Recently, the Venezuelan Supreme Court was attacked by a helicopter commandeered by mutineers. Several days later, an armed gunman attempted to hijack a helicopter in Oregon. Police shot and killed him.

So I am more like Shana feeling ill at ease about helicopters conducting surveillance on Anderson's penthouse, "Am I the only person upset?" Based upon the world we live in, I know that penthouses and bulletproof glass will not protect you from a determined killer. Despite their wealth and protection, Putin as killed opposition among the oligarchs. So, yes, I feel the people around Shana are taking this helicopter too lightly.

One of the thrills I enjoy about your novel is that I find echoes in the world we live in today. Various story elements have parallel to our news and individual lives. This makes your novel interesting and compelling.

Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
    Thank you for the encouraging review. I know it's fiction but I try to make it realistic.
Comment from smbau
Good
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I liked the flow of dialogue. Appears like Shana is followed and spied upon by some characters in a helicopter. The conflict was resolved by a police helicopter and later we learn that Shana is living in a high tech penthouse. I gave a four because I feel the chapter was too short to get the gist of the story or continuation of story thereof.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
    I post approximately 500 words on FS at a time because that's about all the reviewers want. That's why I add a part of the previous post and I label them part 1 through 3 or 4 for that reason. I wish I had something to correct to make this post better but you offered nothing. Thank you.
reply by smbau on 04-Jul-2017
    Sorry about that, I had hoped probably a insight into the gist of the story would have helped for those who read your work for first time or after a while. My 2 cents.
Comment from kriver
Excellent
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Hi,
I am just curious wondering why do you label
the chapters in french
It is a good chapter
I guess when you write a book on
fan story what is considered a chapter there
is really just a page in a regular book
Is my assumption correct?
Best regards
K River


 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
    The chapters are labeled in German for me. I can't label them in English because I have already used those labels with different novels and FS won't let me use them again. I have also used Spanish. I'm about out of languages. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
reply by kriver on 04-Jul-2017
    Hi Barbara,
    I guess you'll have to take up writing Swahili that would really shock the fan story powers that be.
    Best regards
    K River
Comment from Walu Feral
Excellent
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G'day Barbara.

Crikey, things are looking up! I get to do 2 chapters in a row. lol.

"You're coming with me." Jane led the child away." (Sounds like a good move.)

"Tears welled in Shana's eyes. "Nothing like this happened until I arrived, did it? I'm putting you at risk."

Jeff grinned. "Things were quiet until you came. In my opinion, they were boring." (It's funny, but that's exactly what my wife, Delia says to me. My answer is almost the same as well... I mean, who the heck would want the peace of the rain forest, like I had, when they could live in a city of 50M crazy Asians hahaha!)

" Your father didn't seem to be overly interested in getting this painting back. Why is it so important to you?" (Well, there ya go doing it again... leaving an old bloke like me in suspense. I want the answer as well.)

Fabulous chapter and nothing that needs correcting that I could spot.

Great job, mate.

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
    I enjoyed reading your kind review. Thank you