Scattered Like My Thoughts
My thoughts are scattered and they're cloudy.89 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Thought I reviewed this already...but my internet crashes a lot in India so it might have gotten lost.
Anyway, I love the originality and the fine simile. I enjoyed the subtle personfiication. Nice assonance of A n invade, heatwave, awaits and raindrop. Fine cosnoancne of S and T as well.
Good poetic juxtaposition of contrasts.
Superb word economy.
Fine flow.
No nits!
Bravo and good luck.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Thought I reviewed this already...but my internet crashes a lot in India so it might have gotten lost.
Anyway, I love the originality and the fine simile. I enjoyed the subtle personfiication. Nice assonance of A n invade, heatwave, awaits and raindrop. Fine cosnoancne of S and T as well.
Good poetic juxtaposition of contrasts.
Superb word economy.
Fine flow.
No nits!
Bravo and good luck.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Rama, for your detailed review. It cheers me to hear from such a fine poet such as yourself.
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Aw, thanks! I am here less often than before, but will always visit you when I visit here...
Love,
rd
Comment from LIJ Red
Bettered scattered than dark, murky and dangerous. Summer weather has a restlessness that is catching. This might be a haiku, too, the image and kijo and all that--but I am no scholar of the short forms. Excellent.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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Bettered scattered than dark, murky and dangerous. Summer weather has a restlessness that is catching. This might be a haiku, too, the image and kijo and all that--but I am no scholar of the short forms. Excellent.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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Yes, LIJ, I used haiku ideas to write my poem. Thank you for noticing this and writing your review.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Cat. First let me say that I like your photo very much. I take as many of my own photos to accompany my work as possible. Your 5-7-5 is positive and playful from my POV, especially the third line. Great job. Marilyn
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
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Hi Cat. First let me say that I like your photo very much. I take as many of my own photos to accompany my work as possible. Your 5-7-5 is positive and playful from my POV, especially the third line. Great job. Marilyn
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
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Yes, BeasPeas, I have dozens of pictures on my iPhone for poems I have not written yet. I find that FanArt Review is insufficient to provide the images that I witnessed. I am glad you enjoy my 5-7-5 as well. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Hitcher
I like the play on words here friend, waiting for a cloud burst of inspiration to flood the mind and create something new. A clever little 5-7-5 poem for the contest mate, well done and good luck to you!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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I like the play on words here friend, waiting for a cloud burst of inspiration to flood the mind and create something new. A clever little 5-7-5 poem for the contest mate, well done and good luck to you!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Hitcher, for your review--the last review this post received before the certificate expired. When I stepped outside during a heatwave and saw these clouds, they inspired me to write this 5-7-5. Thanks also for wishing me well in the contest.
Comment from Gloria ....
Ha. Yep I love this one, Sis. Very vivid imagery and to me the satori reads as the first line, even though I know it's not.
Terrific! Now I want to be a cloud.
Gloria
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Ha. Yep I love this one, Sis. Very vivid imagery and to me the satori reads as the first line, even though I know it's not.
Terrific! Now I want to be a cloud.
Gloria
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Gloria, for your joyous review. It cheers me.
Comment from Lilol
Very interesting dude. I think that this poem is really interesting. Also, I entered the same contest with my poem so good luck to both of us. YAY!!!!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Very interesting dude. I think that this poem is really interesting. Also, I entered the same contest with my poem so good luck to both of us. YAY!!!!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Yes, Lilol, good luck to both of us! Thank you for your review.
Comment from rodea
You write beautifully. The imagery is so simplistic and artistic. I can completely see and feel the clouds. Thank you for sharing your talent.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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You write beautifully. The imagery is so simplistic and artistic. I can completely see and feel the clouds. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Rodea, for reviewing and enjoying my talent displayed in this little poem.
Comment from Curly Girly
Hi, Sis Kat. I think this is a brilliant little verse:
Scattered like my thoughts,
clouds invade summer heatwave.
Tongue awaits raindrop.
Best wishes in the contest.
I like your entry.
Nicole
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Hi, Sis Kat. I think this is a brilliant little verse:
Scattered like my thoughts,
clouds invade summer heatwave.
Tongue awaits raindrop.
Best wishes in the contest.
I like your entry.
Nicole
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Nicole, for your review and for your best wishes in the contest. I appreciate it.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
haha we had 107* last Friday, then a storm brewed up with hail, high wind, & a little rain.
I enjoyed your 5-7-5 poem for the contest. The words & image are a perfect pairing. Good job on the syllable counts per line. I like the way your short poem tells a little story. With summer thunderstorms, one never knows when a storm or rain will occur.
Good job & best wishes in the contest. Jan
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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haha we had 107* last Friday, then a storm brewed up with hail, high wind, & a little rain.
I enjoyed your 5-7-5 poem for the contest. The words & image are a perfect pairing. Good job on the syllable counts per line. I like the way your short poem tells a little story. With summer thunderstorms, one never knows when a storm or rain will occur.
Good job & best wishes in the contest. Jan
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Oh, yes, Jan, I love telling a little story with these 5-7-5. When I stepped outside during 95* heatwave and saw these promising clouds, I photographed it and composed my poem. Thanks for your best wishes in the contest, too.
Comment from ZainaSaif
I love how you said the clouds are scattered like your thoughts. That is one of the best personifications I have ever heard. I also love how you included the image. It makes the context more clear.
Keep Writing,
-Zaina
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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I love how you said the clouds are scattered like your thoughts. That is one of the best personifications I have ever heard. I also love how you included the image. It makes the context more clear.
Keep Writing,
-Zaina
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Zaina, for your generous review. When I stepped outside my door one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the sight of these promising, scattered clouds. I took this picture on my iPhone and proceeded to compose my poem on my phone while I walked. By the time I returned home, I had completed this poem.
I will keep writing. Thanks.
