The End
... is near?9 total reviews
Comment from Rasmine
Dear Maria,
This is awesome. I think you should have won. I thought we had three days to vote. Oh well. I hate that people don't listen. The ending was perfect :P Congrats on your running up win. Nice song.
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Dear Maria,
This is awesome. I think you should have won. I thought we had three days to vote. Oh well. I hate that people don't listen. The ending was perfect :P Congrats on your running up win. Nice song.
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Thanks for your nice words. I´m glad you liked the story.
Comment from frogbook
Great ending. They should have taken this more seriously-guess they will now. Interesting and unique story. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Great ending. They should have taken this more seriously-guess they will now. Interesting and unique story. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Thanks for your review. I also liked your story very much.
Comment from jusylee72
Very interesting and great story. Your dialogue really moves the story along and I find it to be a fascinating take about those who have mental disorders but may at the same time have gifts we don't understand. Well done.
reply by the author on 14-May-2017
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Very interesting and great story. Your dialogue really moves the story along and I find it to be a fascinating take about those who have mental disorders but may at the same time have gifts we don't understand. Well done.
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 14-May-2017
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Thanks for your kind review.
Comment from JJInfinity805
The story was very character driven and I enjoyed seeing the protagonist's frustration throughout the entire plot, just to be proven right.
Some advice I can give as to your writing would be to appeal to the senses a bit more.
"Josh was making pancakes like every Sunday." could be "The familiar smell of fresh pancakes wafted through the air"
"There was nobody there, probably because it was still too early" could be "I was accustomed to seeing the church filled with people but at this moment it looked empty and abandoned."
Great read. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-May-2017
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The story was very character driven and I enjoyed seeing the protagonist's frustration throughout the entire plot, just to be proven right.
Some advice I can give as to your writing would be to appeal to the senses a bit more.
"Josh was making pancakes like every Sunday." could be "The familiar smell of fresh pancakes wafted through the air"
"There was nobody there, probably because it was still too early" could be "I was accustomed to seeing the church filled with people but at this moment it looked empty and abandoned."
Great read. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-May-2017
reply by the author on 09-May-2017
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Thanks for reading.
Comment from Mustang Patty
It is all too easy to push off the sayings of someone who is thought to be mentally ill. Perhaps there was no illness, the 'strangeness' was caused by the deep thoughts running through the mind - clairvoyance is often thought to be the work of the devil.
Quite something to think about,
~patty~
reply by the author on 09-May-2017
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It is all too easy to push off the sayings of someone who is thought to be mentally ill. Perhaps there was no illness, the 'strangeness' was caused by the deep thoughts running through the mind - clairvoyance is often thought to be the work of the devil.
Quite something to think about,
~patty~
Comment Written 08-May-2017
reply by the author on 09-May-2017
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Thanks for reading, Patty.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Great job on this contest entry! I loved the storyline! Bipolar but right on the money in predicting the end of the world. Luv it! This was a creative write, and you thought outside of the box. I was really entertained from beginning to end.
Well written and presented! I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck in the contest! I think you may have a winner here! -- Connie
reply by the author on 08-May-2017
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Great job on this contest entry! I loved the storyline! Bipolar but right on the money in predicting the end of the world. Luv it! This was a creative write, and you thought outside of the box. I was really entertained from beginning to end.
Well written and presented! I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck in the contest! I think you may have a winner here! -- Connie
Comment Written 07-May-2017
reply by the author on 08-May-2017
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I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Hitcher
Nice! Very nice friend, I enjoyed pealing the layers off your story as it progressed to her premonitions cataclysmic end. You have a great story tellers voice and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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Nice! Very nice friend, I enjoyed pealing the layers off your story as it progressed to her premonitions cataclysmic end. You have a great story tellers voice and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 07-May-2017
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and for the six stars.
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It was a pleasure friend : )
Comment from RodG
Wow! I am super impressed with what you did here in only 700 words. First, your lead-in was superb as you set the scene, introduced your clairvoyant narrator, and presented her family with a problem they disbelieved. Great characterization of every member through dialog. Loved that brief scene where she left Lou and Josh in the garden, feeling like an outsider. Nice contrast in last scene of sunny day on day of doom. Church scene was well done. That she hears God's voice in an empty church seemed weird until later when Josh tells the paramedics she's "off her melds." Then the shocking one-line conclusion.
Very imaginative, believable, & well-crafted. I predict a winning entry! Rod
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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Wow! I am super impressed with what you did here in only 700 words. First, your lead-in was superb as you set the scene, introduced your clairvoyant narrator, and presented her family with a problem they disbelieved. Great characterization of every member through dialog. Loved that brief scene where she left Lou and Josh in the garden, feeling like an outsider. Nice contrast in last scene of sunny day on day of doom. Church scene was well done. That she hears God's voice in an empty church seemed weird until later when Josh tells the paramedics she's "off her melds." Then the shocking one-line conclusion.
Very imaginative, believable, & well-crafted. I predict a winning entry! Rod
Comment Written 07-May-2017
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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You are very kind, Rod.
Thanks so much for your review and for the six stars.
Comment from robyn corum
HA! Looks like she was right this time and not crazy at all. That's what ya'll get for doubting her. Oh well. That's the way it goes sometimes. *smile*
Just kidding, of course. A nice entry for the contest!
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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HA! Looks like she was right this time and not crazy at all. That's what ya'll get for doubting her. Oh well. That's the way it goes sometimes. *smile*
Just kidding, of course. A nice entry for the contest!
Comment Written 07-May-2017
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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Thanks for reading, Robyn.
