Grass by the Lake
Horrible memories can create phobias21 total reviews
Comment from Mark Valentine
I hadn't seen a post from you in a while, so I figured maybe you had some contest entries I hadn't seen. Please tell me this one won - it is "deep" - no pun intended.
You give just enough information for the reader to guess at the "shadows deep" that the lake holds - the grass as the " awful carpet of my nightmare" is such a powerful line.
The illustration fits the poem so well also - just enough blurriness in the picture to convey the idea that it could be beautiful or ugly, depending on how you bring it into focus.
Seems to me that this is what poetry is supposed to be - superbly written, evocative, personal - this is as good as it gets.
reply by the author on 08-May-2017
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I hadn't seen a post from you in a while, so I figured maybe you had some contest entries I hadn't seen. Please tell me this one won - it is "deep" - no pun intended.
You give just enough information for the reader to guess at the "shadows deep" that the lake holds - the grass as the " awful carpet of my nightmare" is such a powerful line.
The illustration fits the poem so well also - just enough blurriness in the picture to convey the idea that it could be beautiful or ugly, depending on how you bring it into focus.
Seems to me that this is what poetry is supposed to be - superbly written, evocative, personal - this is as good as it gets.
Comment Written 08-May-2017
reply by the author on 08-May-2017
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Oh dear friend, I send you many thanks. I have received so many comments that said they didn't get it.(one was that they thought I was allergic to grass. Another
Response was that it did not make sense to them 😌
Then you and some others sent comments that were so important to me. This one meant a lot to me. Bless you Mark for knowing and understanding.
Comment from JDRBAR
Excellently written word wise and format wise, but it does not state the topic. What is the phobia, and why is it a phobia. I'm assuming it concerns grass, but without any other hint, it does not have any meaning to me.
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Excellently written word wise and format wise, but it does not state the topic. What is the phobia, and why is it a phobia. I'm assuming it concerns grass, but without any other hint, it does not have any meaning to me.
Comment Written 08-May-2017
Comment from lalajovanoski
Great Phobia contest entry. Cleverly written and flows very smoothly. Some deep emotions are felt. Thank you for sharing this as I truly enjoyed reading. Best wishes in the contest
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Great Phobia contest entry. Cleverly written and flows very smoothly. Some deep emotions are felt. Thank you for sharing this as I truly enjoyed reading. Best wishes in the contest
Comment Written 06-May-2017
Comment from estory
The effect here is kind of surreal, the images of tranquility seem like a shadow of unsettled fears, a wonderful place, a wonderful hopeful moment seems to become out of place. the narrator can't seem to step into it. the repetitions seemed to heighten this sense of being stuck in place, of being held firm by phobias, unable to break free. the long lines did well to dampen the tone, darken the mood. nice job with this one estory
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The effect here is kind of surreal, the images of tranquility seem like a shadow of unsettled fears, a wonderful place, a wonderful hopeful moment seems to become out of place. the narrator can't seem to step into it. the repetitions seemed to heighten this sense of being stuck in place, of being held firm by phobias, unable to break free. the long lines did well to dampen the tone, darken the mood. nice job with this one estory
Comment Written 06-May-2017
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
This poem was written in a lovely way with beautiful words, but I do not understand it. You have given us no reason at all for this feeling? It only leaves me pondering what happened - is it allergies? Or something more sinister? More might be needed.
Thanks and good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Dear Mystery Writer,
This poem was written in a lovely way with beautiful words, but I do not understand it. You have given us no reason at all for this feeling? It only leaves me pondering what happened - is it allergies? Or something more sinister? More might be needed.
Thanks and good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-May-2017
Comment from Mustang Patty
This poem eludes to the phobia lurking in the grass. The lovely setting to some is frightening to you. Your presentation and graceful words are well chosen. I hope you do well in the contest. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
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This poem eludes to the phobia lurking in the grass. The lovely setting to some is frightening to you. Your presentation and graceful words are well chosen. I hope you do well in the contest. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 06-May-2017
Comment from Heather Knight
I like your poem and find it very intriguing. I would like to know more. What are those terrible memories you're speaking about?
Good luck in the contest.
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I like your poem and find it very intriguing. I would like to know more. What are those terrible memories you're speaking about?
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-May-2017
Comment from emptypage
So sad, the way horrid humans can destroy perfectly wonderful, lovely things for the victims of their atrocities. I totally understand. I hope this changes for you (or your narrator), sometime.
Nicely written, Good word choices.
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So sad, the way horrid humans can destroy perfectly wonderful, lovely things for the victims of their atrocities. I totally understand. I hope this changes for you (or your narrator), sometime.
Nicely written, Good word choices.
Comment Written 05-May-2017
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A scenic write with great imagery and warm sentiments of a beautiful lake that fills you with fear! This is a haunting write and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
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A scenic write with great imagery and warm sentiments of a beautiful lake that fills you with fear! This is a haunting write and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-May-2017
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is so well done. The visuals are amazing - I picture myself sitting by that lake and fearing the dew (lol). Phobia subject superbly explored, lovely mystical picture - I wish you luck in that contest, I very much enjoyed the read.
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This is so well done. The visuals are amazing - I picture myself sitting by that lake and fearing the dew (lol). Phobia subject superbly explored, lovely mystical picture - I wish you luck in that contest, I very much enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 05-May-2017
