2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "haiku (old woman nods off)"A collection of Japanese poetry
9 total reviews
Comment from Grasshopper2
Gypsy,
A nice, soft, warm image that ties with the photo - which is why you won the contest. Way to go, lady Blue. Winning is always better than not.
Michael
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Gypsy,
A nice, soft, warm image that ties with the photo - which is why you won the contest. Way to go, lady Blue. Winning is always better than not.
Michael
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Thank you for reading two in a row, my friend ;)
Gypsy
Comment from dweigt
Excellent! I like the imagery, and can easily imagine myself on the park bench next to her. "warm breeze lulls" has a nice ambiguity.
Congratulations on the win. Well deserved.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
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Excellent! I like the imagery, and can easily imagine myself on the park bench next to her. "warm breeze lulls" has a nice ambiguity.
Congratulations on the win. Well deserved.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the six stars, my friend. Thank you very much for reading, my friend :)
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and Poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>Haiga class starts on May 1st <>
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 Haiku and I liked your choice of photo. Just one question. Did you mean to put "on park bench"?
Best of luck
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 Haiku and I liked your choice of photo. Just one question. Did you mean to put "on park bench"?
Best of luck
Marybell1.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you very much for reading, my friend :) yes, it says on park bench .... I think, I have to check. Thank you.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and Poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>Haiga class starts on May 1st <>
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You are most welcome.
Marybell1.
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is a beautiful, well composed haiku, Mystery Poet
You have followed the rules of this contest to the letter.
Your haiku is 17 syllables OR LESS.
You've used a 3 line format in short/long/short.
It is written in present tense.
You have two grammatically interconnected lines of concrete imagery in lines 1 and 2 or 2 and 3 and a satori in lines 3 or 1.
No caps, and minimal punctuation.
And you've not uses any personification (attributing human qualities to animal or objects).
Your picture is different than most, so your presentation stands out from the rest.
You got my vote!
Bravo, and good luck...
~Dean :)
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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This is a beautiful, well composed haiku, Mystery Poet
You have followed the rules of this contest to the letter.
Your haiku is 17 syllables OR LESS.
You've used a 3 line format in short/long/short.
It is written in present tense.
You have two grammatically interconnected lines of concrete imagery in lines 1 and 2 or 2 and 3 and a satori in lines 3 or 1.
No caps, and minimal punctuation.
And you've not uses any personification (attributing human qualities to animal or objects).
Your picture is different than most, so your presentation stands out from the rest.
You got my vote!
Bravo, and good luck...
~Dean :)
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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THANK YOU!!! I appreciate your review and six stars. You are very kind.
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My pleasure, and good luck! :)
Comment from l.raven
what a beautiful thought...I have walked in the park
many times and seen older people sleeping
it's peaceful for them...very nicely written...and I love this picture...
love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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what a beautiful thought...I have walked in the park
many times and seen older people sleeping
it's peaceful for them...very nicely written...and I love this picture...
love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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thank you very much, you are very kind, Linda sweetie pie
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you are so very welcome...xxoo love
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'Old Woman Nods Off' is a great Haiku. It has humor.
It consists of three lines.
Each line has a syllable count: 5-7-5
Total syllable count: 17
Beautiful artwork: The image is a good fit for the poem.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing your Sunset Haiku.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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'Old Woman Nods Off' is a great Haiku. It has humor.
It consists of three lines.
Each line has a syllable count: 5-7-5
Total syllable count: 17
Beautiful artwork: The image is a good fit for the poem.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing your Sunset Haiku.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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thank you, my friend
Comment from lyenochka
Lovely seasonal picture of the woman on a park bench. The "tangerine" is reflected not only in the summer season but in the color of the sunset. Lovely haiku.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Lovely seasonal picture of the woman on a park bench. The "tangerine" is reflected not only in the summer season but in the color of the sunset. Lovely haiku.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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thank you
Comment from bhogg
looks to me that you hit all the elements of a haiku. I liked the imagery. First two lines, definitely connected with the third line fitting right in, Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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looks to me that you hit all the elements of a haiku. I liked the imagery. First two lines, definitely connected with the third line fitting right in, Well done.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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thank you
Comment from Teri7
This is a very beautiful haiku you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording about the beautiful sunset. You used very good imagery with the great artwork.
Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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This is a very beautiful haiku you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording about the beautiful sunset. You used very good imagery with the great artwork.
Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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thank you
