The End
Enough of this stuff37 total reviews
Comment from light
Very funny, indeed. I don't know if I feel more sorry for The husband or the poor cat. I think it fits the instructions for the contest.
Elaine
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
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Very funny, indeed. I don't know if I feel more sorry for The husband or the poor cat. I think it fits the instructions for the contest.
Elaine
Comment Written 06-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting. Glad you liked the little story.
Comment from F. Wehr3
This is funny occurrence, but everything structurally is off. Please consider the following.
My husband and I, newly married, happy young lovers In the middle of a passionate embrace. --When you have a challenge of word economy, you need to eliminate unnecessary words. Since you place commas around newly married, you have no verb. My husband and I are newly married (in) the middle of a passionate embrace. That would be my suggestion. Happy and young both describe lovers, so you would need a comma after happy, which would bog down the sentence even more.
Pepper, the family cat, landing claws extended, on my beloved's bare butt. --No comma after extended.
The end of story and everything else.--No verb. Here's where you want to highlight your story with humor. Needless to say, we both had an unhappy ending. Maybe something like that.
Writing 50 and 100 word pieces is difficult, this is why I don't write them. I think you had a great idea, but the piece needs work.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
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This is funny occurrence, but everything structurally is off. Please consider the following.
My husband and I, newly married, happy young lovers In the middle of a passionate embrace. --When you have a challenge of word economy, you need to eliminate unnecessary words. Since you place commas around newly married, you have no verb. My husband and I are newly married (in) the middle of a passionate embrace. That would be my suggestion. Happy and young both describe lovers, so you would need a comma after happy, which would bog down the sentence even more.
Pepper, the family cat, landing claws extended, on my beloved's bare butt. --No comma after extended.
The end of story and everything else.--No verb. Here's where you want to highlight your story with humor. Needless to say, we both had an unhappy ending. Maybe something like that.
Writing 50 and 100 word pieces is difficult, this is why I don't write them. I think you had a great idea, but the piece needs work.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 06-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2017
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Thank you. Yep, I agree with you, it needs work. The contest is over so I'm not going back to it now, but will straighten it up at a future date. I do know better than to write in fragmented sentences as I did here. I got in too big of a hurry and that seldom makes for good work. Thanks again.
Comment from Alex Biasin
A very cool story.
something that you can see happening, I have had an experience similar to this, but it was a lovers dog that poked its nose where it didn't belong at a most inopportune time!
Great story.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2017
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A very cool story.
something that you can see happening, I have had an experience similar to this, but it was a lovers dog that poked its nose where it didn't belong at a most inopportune time!
Great story.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2017
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Thanks for reading and commenting. Yeah, I bet your experience was interesting too.
Comment from Bill Schott
This fifty-word story, The End, creates the nightmare scenario that every cat-suspicious fellow knows will happen sooner or later. Cats are inherently evil. Nice little story.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2017
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This fifty-word story, The End, creates the nightmare scenario that every cat-suspicious fellow knows will happen sooner or later. Cats are inherently evil. Nice little story.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2017
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Thanks for reading and commenting. Now how can those cute little fur balls be evil? LOL
Comment from hifein
you hit the mark -- in a few words you told a funny story. perhaps it was necessary to use fragmented sentences to meet number guidelines. if not you might want to construct full sentences. i enjoyed especially since i have a cat with bad timing as well.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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you hit the mark -- in a few words you told a funny story. perhaps it was necessary to use fragmented sentences to meet number guidelines. if not you might want to construct full sentences. i enjoyed especially since i have a cat with bad timing as well.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you. I had to clip the sentences a little to say all I wanted to. It doesn't matter anyway it is just a fun write.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written what can I say ouch loll I enjoyed you have done well using the limitations I enjoyed you made me smile regards Jill
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Yes this is well written what can I say ouch loll I enjoyed you have done well using the limitations I enjoyed you made me smile regards Jill
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you. Just a funny story that popped into my mind. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Comment from robyn corum
Hmmm... I can see how that would be the 'end' of everything going on. This is a cute story. Your imagination runs to the extreme, I see. Very fun! Good luck!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Hmmm... I can see how that would be the 'end' of everything going on. This is a cute story. Your imagination runs to the extreme, I see. Very fun! Good luck!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting. Just a funny story that came to mind.
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. I think you completed the challenge of the contest well. The short humorous piece moved right along from beginning to end. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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A well-written contest entry. I think you completed the challenge of the contest well. The short humorous piece moved right along from beginning to end. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting. Just a funny story that came to mind.
Comment from w.j.debi
This should do well in the contest. Cats certainly decide to get involved at the darnedest times. You build up the suspense and then have the cat extend those claws for one of those moments when it makes you wonder whether to laugh or cry or both because of the situation. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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This should do well in the contest. Cats certainly decide to get involved at the darnedest times. You build up the suspense and then have the cat extend those claws for one of those moments when it makes you wonder whether to laugh or cry or both because of the situation. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and your kind comments. Cats are contrary critters at the best of times.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Hahahaha! What a charmer this story is - just one tiny problem: when it's a 50 word challenge, fragmented sentences are judged harshly, because full sentences need to fit within the word count and still tell a tale.
Regardless, I enjoyed it immensely. :))
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Hahahaha! What a charmer this story is - just one tiny problem: when it's a 50 word challenge, fragmented sentences are judged harshly, because full sentences need to fit within the word count and still tell a tale.
Regardless, I enjoyed it immensely. :))
Comment Written 04-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting. Yeah, I did get it kind of fragmented. I will do better next time. I DO know better than that.
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You're very welcome.
