The Dark World
Darkness can engulf us.12 total reviews
Comment from kathleenspalding
Wow. Good, powerful, well written story. Narrator has a believable voice. Kept my attention and flowed well. Good job, and good luck in the contest. I didn't see anything that needs to be corrected.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Wow. Good, powerful, well written story. Narrator has a believable voice. Kept my attention and flowed well. Good job, and good luck in the contest. I didn't see anything that needs to be corrected.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and taking the time to review. Your kind comments and good luck wishes are truly appreciated.
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You're welcome
Comment from mbroyles2
Your story moves along with a quick pace and is easy to read.
The imagery of one experiencing blindness for the first time is telling.
Good luck in the contest.
Michael
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Your story moves along with a quick pace and is easy to read.
The imagery of one experiencing blindness for the first time is telling.
Good luck in the contest.
Michael
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and taking the time to review. Your kind comments and good luck wishes are truly appreciated.
Comment from rydere
This one I can relate too just because you blind doesn't mean your world is dark. But living in The Dark World for you maybe different from someone who is blind/vision impaired. I may call you the lucky one it's hard with both , but I'm getting through it with the help with friends and my family too. And sometimes I feel like I'm living in the dark world as well so I can relate to your situation. So please don't think of it being something wrong or living in the dark world or this world as limits for us, but we must over come it all, cause when we do we can do anything we put our minds on to, so please keep up with the great work and you are not alone. You are loved.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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This one I can relate too just because you blind doesn't mean your world is dark. But living in The Dark World for you maybe different from someone who is blind/vision impaired. I may call you the lucky one it's hard with both , but I'm getting through it with the help with friends and my family too. And sometimes I feel like I'm living in the dark world as well so I can relate to your situation. So please don't think of it being something wrong or living in the dark world or this world as limits for us, but we must over come it all, cause when we do we can do anything we put our minds on to, so please keep up with the great work and you are not alone. You are loved.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and taking the time to review. Your kind comments and supportive words are truly appreciated.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a phenomenal write. I had to check the classification to be sure this wasn't biographical. I was relieved to see it's listed as fiction. It is so true that we never know moment-to-moment what will happen. Great job. A very worthy for the contest. (The image of the dog is gorgeous.) Marilyn
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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This is a phenomenal write. I had to check the classification to be sure this wasn't biographical. I was relieved to see it's listed as fiction. It is so true that we never know moment-to-moment what will happen. Great job. A very worthy for the contest. (The image of the dog is gorgeous.) Marilyn
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and taking the time to review and your kind words and comments. I thought the picture of the dog was a great choice since it did remind me of a dear friend from years ago, Sometimes it is easier and wiser to claim fictional as a status. :)
Comment from w.j.debi
What a catastrophic event. Only one instant in time, but one that altered your character's destiny forever. Good job setting up a realistic world with the events and people involved, and then the horsing around that students are known for. Well told. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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What a catastrophic event. Only one instant in time, but one that altered your character's destiny forever. Good job setting up a realistic world with the events and people involved, and then the horsing around that students are known for. Well told. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and for taking the time to review, I really appreciate your kind words and comments and the good luck wishes.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
An excellent contest entry. I don't usually do well in contests. I won one. That makes up for all the contests I didn't win. This piece should do well.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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An excellent contest entry. I don't usually do well in contests. I won one. That makes up for all the contests I didn't win. This piece should do well.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate your kind comments.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, okay your character does get stuck in complete darkness. It is an interesting narration. I would advise that it is all telling, and the ending is an even faster retelling of events. There is no interaction, no showing. We are told how she feels, told of her adjustment. We do not experience it or see her experience it.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Hmm, okay your character does get stuck in complete darkness. It is an interesting narration. I would advise that it is all telling, and the ending is an even faster retelling of events. There is no interaction, no showing. We are told how she feels, told of her adjustment. We do not experience it or see her experience it.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and for taking the time to review, I appreciate your constructive thoughts and comments.
Comment from light
Can this really happen?. This is a remarkable story. The comparison of what he could see before the incident and the darkness that came as a result of some seemingly trivial action is impressive. Well done.
Elaine
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Can this really happen?. This is a remarkable story. The comparison of what he could see before the incident and the darkness that came as a result of some seemingly trivial action is impressive. Well done.
Elaine
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and for taking the time to review. I really appreciate your kind thoughts and comments. FYI yes it did actually happen.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The verbal structure of the story is a school weekend trip turned sour for the protagonist who suddenly went blind.
The work highlights a sudden turn of events for the protagonist; and his resolve to tide his way through blindness with a dog serving as his guide.
The work constitutes a significant creative exposee on the topic: A character struck in complete darkness.
Excellent work! Bravo!
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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The verbal structure of the story is a school weekend trip turned sour for the protagonist who suddenly went blind.
The work highlights a sudden turn of events for the protagonist; and his resolve to tide his way through blindness with a dog serving as his guide.
The work constitutes a significant creative exposee on the topic: A character struck in complete darkness.
Excellent work! Bravo!
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Wow, thank you so very much for your comments, I am so glad when someone takes time to read and review and even more so when they have enjoyed what has been written. Blessed be.
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Remain Blessed!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Depressing story. Going blind is the worst thing that can happen short of a painful terminal illness, I think.
The bus driver, lucked out <-- Incorrect comma placement. Delete.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Depressing story. Going blind is the worst thing that can happen short of a painful terminal illness, I think.
The bus driver, lucked out <-- Incorrect comma placement. Delete.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you for taking the time to read and then to review, I think the painful terminal illness would definitely be horrible. Most people who do become blind do adjust within a year, but it is a devastating change. Thank you for the correction- consider it done.
