Carrot Cake
A past pain I can't overcome.23 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Great ending. I thought she might poison the cake. Only problem is now she will be guilty of murder and go to prison. Was it worth it?
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Great ending. I thought she might poison the cake. Only problem is now she will be guilty of murder and go to prison. Was it worth it?
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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True, but I want to think she got away with it. ;)
Thanks for reading.
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Me too! Maybe the prison is just glad to be rid of him and won't care. :)
Comment from miajaffri
I had a feeling there was something in the cake when you said it looks so spongy, so appealing. Isn't it strange how a psychiatrist finally gets his patient to talk and react and then says, "It's time to stop." The patient leaves the office more upset than when he came into it. Makes me wonder why people keep their appointments. I think you did a good job with this flash fiction.
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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I had a feeling there was something in the cake when you said it looks so spongy, so appealing. Isn't it strange how a psychiatrist finally gets his patient to talk and react and then says, "It's time to stop." The patient leaves the office more upset than when he came into it. Makes me wonder why people keep their appointments. I think you did a good job with this flash fiction.
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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I wonder about psychiatrists too...
Thanks for reading.
Comment from frogbook
Though I came to expect the ending, it was both chilling and satisfying for the mean old thing. Congratulations on you placing in the contest. Well done!
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Though I came to expect the ending, it was both chilling and satisfying for the mean old thing. Congratulations on you placing in the contest. Well done!
Comment Written 15-May-2017
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Congratulations for winning first prize. And thanks for reading my little story.
Comment from dragonpoet
This story tells us how uncaring some doctors become after years of hearing others'
problems. It seems a good idea that she talk to her uncle but it is a horrible idea to kill him. It will make the same as he is. A person who chooses to hurt people/kill those they should work things out with if at all possible. He will not be able to hurt other people but the guilt she will feel will cause her more pain because of him.
Congrats on placing in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 14-May-2017
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This story tells us how uncaring some doctors become after years of hearing others'
problems. It seems a good idea that she talk to her uncle but it is a horrible idea to kill him. It will make the same as he is. A person who chooses to hurt people/kill those they should work things out with if at all possible. He will not be able to hurt other people but the guilt she will feel will cause her more pain because of him.
Congrats on placing in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 14-May-2017
reply by the author on 14-May-2017
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Thanks for your kind review.
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You are kindly welcome.
dp
Comment from Lulube
Now you can feel better and move on. lol But so easy to identify with her emotions and bitterness is the long term fiend. It can rule over anger, jealousy, resentment, scorned, devastation and a lot more on the same level. Definitely not the happy spectrum. I don't see how people get over being bitter, I think it's just pushed in the back of the mind so it doesn't pop up everyday, but when it does surface it's as strong as ever. Forgive and forget, I still to this day cannot comprehend. Now mastering the flush remedy ( when you pretend you are flushing an old style flusher that was a rope hanging down and you pulled down on it to flush the toilet) You must say out loud though as you are replicating the pulling down of the rope with one arm. and repeat a few times thinking on the matter at hand. I'll tell you, it's worked for me several times in my life. It's like it becomes the master of your emotions that can turn things off. So it's pull the rope and say flush, several times and think on the matter you want to rid of.
lulube
reply by the author on 14-May-2017
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Now you can feel better and move on. lol But so easy to identify with her emotions and bitterness is the long term fiend. It can rule over anger, jealousy, resentment, scorned, devastation and a lot more on the same level. Definitely not the happy spectrum. I don't see how people get over being bitter, I think it's just pushed in the back of the mind so it doesn't pop up everyday, but when it does surface it's as strong as ever. Forgive and forget, I still to this day cannot comprehend. Now mastering the flush remedy ( when you pretend you are flushing an old style flusher that was a rope hanging down and you pulled down on it to flush the toilet) You must say out loud though as you are replicating the pulling down of the rope with one arm. and repeat a few times thinking on the matter at hand. I'll tell you, it's worked for me several times in my life. It's like it becomes the master of your emotions that can turn things off. So it's pull the rope and say flush, several times and think on the matter you want to rid of.
lulube
Comment Written 14-May-2017
reply by the author on 14-May-2017
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Well, fortunately this is fiction...:)
Thanks for reading.
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lol no doubt
lulube
Comment from robyn corum
Well, well, well. So did she just throw away her own life, too? 'Cause I'm sure they'll figure that one out -- ahhh...that's if they care, which they won't, for some old criminal. Cle-ver! I like it!
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016
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Well, well, well. So did she just throw away her own life, too? 'Cause I'm sure they'll figure that one out -- ahhh...that's if they care, which they won't, for some old criminal. Cle-ver! I like it!
Comment Written 19-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016
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I hope they don't find out...
I've heard victims of abuse have this kind of fantasy. My protagonist acted on hers.
Thanks for your review.
Comment from royowen
It seems that some people deserve just whatever happens to them, I can really understand someone like George the despicable. Wonderfully written story Apmaria, as an entry in this contest, it contains all the ingredients to do well in this contest, good characters, excellently organised plot, a great surprise ending, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
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It seems that some people deserve just whatever happens to them, I can really understand someone like George the despicable. Wonderfully written story Apmaria, as an entry in this contest, it contains all the ingredients to do well in this contest, good characters, excellently organised plot, a great surprise ending, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 18-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
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Thanks for the great review, Roy and for the six stars. Have a nice day.
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You to Maria
Comment from Selina Stambi
Ha! I had a feeling there was something inside that moist, inviting carrot cake!
Well written. Good dialogue. Great presentation, easy on the eye.
Best wishes for the contest, Maria. Nice to meet you.
Smiles,
Sonali xx
'So why don't you start from the beginning(?)
All of a sudden, my mind is made (up?).
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
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Ha! I had a feeling there was something inside that moist, inviting carrot cake!
Well written. Good dialogue. Great presentation, easy on the eye.
Best wishes for the contest, Maria. Nice to meet you.
Smiles,
Sonali xx
'So why don't you start from the beginning(?)
All of a sudden, my mind is made (up?).
Comment Written 17-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
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Thanks for noticing the typos, Sonali. And for reading, of course.
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Thanks for noticing the typos, Sonali. And for reading, of course.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Maria Jose. A very good flash fiction. I liked it a lot. It was rather predictable what was to happen but I still liked it. Well written. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016
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Hi Maria Jose. A very good flash fiction. I liked it a lot. It was rather predictable what was to happen but I still liked it. Well written. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016
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Thanks for reading, Ulla.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi MJ.
My, you are in early with this piece, aren't you? LOL
A good entry for the competition. good tone to the write as usual. Nice twist at the end and the pacing is very good.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016
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Hi MJ.
My, you are in early with this piece, aren't you? LOL
A good entry for the competition. good tone to the write as usual. Nice twist at the end and the pacing is very good.
All the best
G
Comment Written 17-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016
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I know, but I tend to choose the free ones as I don't have too many member dollars... :)
Thanks for reading.
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It's funny how the free ones give the biggest reward too!
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True... doesn't seem fair. Haven't won any of those though... Maybe one day.
