Comment from TheWriteTeach

Excellent

This is a cute story about a child not liking to be told what to do. I like how the required word, 'stop' is used over and over in the story, by the father. It stresses the point of the parent trying to keep his child safe.

I noticed a few spags:

I moved them forwards and backwards, forwards and backwards[,] and giggled. (Use a comma to separate items in a series of three or more.)

In the meantime, Mum just watched us[,] and from time to time told Dad to let me be. (Use a comma to separate two independent clauses that are joined with a conjunction.)

Your dialogue is punctuated incorrectly. Direct quotations use the double quote marks rather than the single quote marks. The single quote mark is used to indicate a quote within a quote.

Good luck in the contest.

Suzanne

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016

In England single quotation marks can be used for dialogue, so I take it you're American.
Thanks for reading.

reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016

In England single quotation marks can be used for dialogue, so I take it you're American.
Thanks for reading.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Very cute story. Worries of parents as seen thru the eyes of a child. "Stop stopping me!" What a great line.

Love the picture. You look like you were a handful. LOL!

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016

I was!
Thanks for reading.

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

A cute story that took me back to my childhood. I did a lot of things that myaren't told me not to. I think it is inherent that all chi
dren are curious.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016

Thanks for reading.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

This story is a delightful entry that introduces us to a very precocious child. At the same time, we can relate to Dad who is protective and disciplinarian. I, too, chuckled at Maria's retort to her family.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016

Thanks for your review, Rod.

Comment from papa55mike

Excellent

This is so well written and the picture is awesome. I love the font you chose it makes it easier to read. I use it too. I never wanted to be in pictures either and I've told my kids to stop so many times, I can say it sign language too. I wish I had a six for you.

Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day and God bless.
mike

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Mike. Take care.

Comment from valmay

Good

A sweet reminiscence of early childhood. I liked the ending of stop stopping me. The last sentence seemed a bit unwieldy. Perhaps if you took out the 'very well' it would be stronger.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016

Thanks for reading.