Party time.
A wild time for the insect world.12 total reviews
Comment from Dan Sparks
I enjoyed the descriptions of the insects themselves but why would they all show up to the same place? I think a blood bath would ensue. Is there some kind of unwritten rule that they won't fight while at the ball? Some description of why they were going to the ball would have made it more interesting. There was no central conflict to have to worry about so the story in essence is some insects preparing for a ball and then enjoying the ball. Again I did enjoy the descriptions of the insects and think this could be a good seed story.
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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2016
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I enjoyed the descriptions of the insects themselves but why would they all show up to the same place? I think a blood bath would ensue. Is there some kind of unwritten rule that they won't fight while at the ball? Some description of why they were going to the ball would have made it more interesting. There was no central conflict to have to worry about so the story in essence is some insects preparing for a ball and then enjoying the ball. Again I did enjoy the descriptions of the insects and think this could be a good seed story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2016
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, I am sorry for your level of disappointment. I merely took the challenge of the contest and figured since it was a creepy crawly ball that it was a gathering of all insects. But I do thank you for your honesty.
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You are welcome. I wanted to provide some actual feedback. I wasn't disappointed but I tried to think of what I would want done with the story to expand it. I understand it wasn't meant to be a full on story but a description of what a creepy crawly ball would be like.
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I really appreciate your views/ comments, that is what I learn from.
Comment from Kooky Clown
A clever and well thought out story with a particularly interesting theme to it It conjured up all kinds of thoughts about what a creepy crawly ball would be like if such a thing could ever happen. I did like the way you described the different insects.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2016
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A clever and well thought out story with a particularly interesting theme to it It conjured up all kinds of thoughts about what a creepy crawly ball would be like if such a thing could ever happen. I did like the way you described the different insects.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2016
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate your kind comments and of course the stars. Again thank you.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A great entry in a clever category. Good luck in the contest. I'm sure you will do well. My son is a six-foot-two Marine. Scared to death of spiders and bugs.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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A great entry in a clever category. Good luck in the contest. I'm sure you will do well. My son is a six-foot-two Marine. Scared to death of spiders and bugs.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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Thank you for reviewing and for the good luck wishes. I really appreciate your comments. Your poor son but I don't blame him since some of those little things are poisonous. Again thanks.
Comment from DonandVicki
A very interesting and imaginative story, a surrealistic and well developed story well timed for the holloween season. Good luck.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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A very interesting and imaginative story, a surrealistic and well developed story well timed for the holloween season. Good luck.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your kind comments and good wishes. And the stars were a delightful touch.
Comment from Heidi M
Cute entry for the contest. Good alliteration with name choices.
Suggestion:
Webs they wove were stronger than (they appeared)
I especially enjoyed the snail.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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Cute entry for the contest. Good alliteration with name choices.
Suggestion:
Webs they wove were stronger than (they appeared)
I especially enjoyed the snail.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your kind comments and suggestions. I will definitely check about that line. Oh an thanks for the stars.
Comment from Mary Wakeford
This was absolutely delightful, and I can see it being parlayed into a children's book with wonderful illustrations of the various insects. I loved the way you described each insect before giving away their identifier. I believe you have a winner here! Good luck!
After all the world needed more flies.-> After all, the world needed more flies.
(deliberate pause)
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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This was absolutely delightful, and I can see it being parlayed into a children's book with wonderful illustrations of the various insects. I loved the way you described each insect before giving away their identifier. I believe you have a winner here! Good luck!
After all the world needed more flies.-> After all, the world needed more flies.
(deliberate pause)
Comment Written 11-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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Awww thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your kind comments and good wished, oh and thank you for the stars. And I will add the comma as suggested.
Comment from schatzling
What an enjoyable read this was. I could read more and more....I was not ready for it to end. I must read visit your works once I find out who you are in the not too distant future.
Thank you so very much for selecting my art to accompany your story. It does fit so well with it. I am truly humbled that you chose mine. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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What an enjoyable read this was. I could read more and more....I was not ready for it to end. I must read visit your works once I find out who you are in the not too distant future.
Thank you so very much for selecting my art to accompany your story. It does fit so well with it. I am truly humbled that you chose mine. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and most definitely for your art work- of all that I could find it was the one that spoke to me. I really appreciate your kind words and of course for the stars.
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You are more than welcome.
Comment from redprairie_rose
very adorable story! very well thought out, and an unusual idea for a bug story! sweet and child-like. I can visualize it in a children's book with pictures. best wishes for more stories.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
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very adorable story! very well thought out, and an unusual idea for a bug story! sweet and child-like. I can visualize it in a children's book with pictures. best wishes for more stories.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate your kind comments and good wishes. And the stars are also very much appreciated.
Comment from frierajac
A Praying Mantis? Maybe holding hands with another one. It may do, although I would like to have seen some action, as creepy crawlies can be red in tooth and nail, just like anything in
nature.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
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A Praying Mantis? Maybe holding hands with another one. It may do, although I would like to have seen some action, as creepy crawlies can be red in tooth and nail, just like anything in
nature.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, I appreciate your comments and did think about adding some blood, guts and gore but chose against it, sorry to disappoint you. I did also appreciate the stars, again thanks.
Comment from damommy
This is too cute for words.
Poor little Penny feeling bad because she was chubby, and poor Simon having to so early and then take two days to get back.
I truly enjoyed this story. I think you have a good chance of winning with this. Good luck. 8-)
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
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This is too cute for words.
Poor little Penny feeling bad because she was chubby, and poor Simon having to so early and then take two days to get back.
I truly enjoyed this story. I think you have a good chance of winning with this. Good luck. 8-)
Comment Written 10-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, I appreciate your comments and good wishes. Lol most girls do worry about their weight and Simon probably exhausted himself dancing lol. Also thanks for the stars. Glad you enjoyed it.
