Reviews from

What it takes

A Dactylic Redoubled Rondeau

43 total reviews 
Comment from William Ross
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

very good on the rondeau redouble, good rhyme and great meter you chose, reads and flows great. Best of luck on this and have a wonderful day.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2016
    Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem, William. Appreciated, as always! Tony
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

But I'm tired.

Actually, as one who suffers from congestive heart failure, wish I could still do all these things you write so eloquently of.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2016
    Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem, Thomas. Appreciated, as always! Tony
Comment from crybry67
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love the rhythm and the rhyme is wonderful as well. Your message is a positive one and says to me 'just do it!' I have yet to try writing one of these, they seem to be a challenge. You rose to the occasion very well.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2016
    Very many thanks for your kind words and six stars, Crybry. Both much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I loved this! Everything about it from the artwork as well as the bright yellow background which seems to echo the energy, positivity and happiness with a side of endearing craziness you advise. Excellent metering as well, it seemed to flow very well as I read it. Nice work!

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2016
    Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem, Mary. Appreciated, as always! Tony
reply by Mary Wakeford on 25-Sep-2016
    You are most welcome, Tony. I currently have a story paying a dollar if you care to return the favor :)
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is delightful to read aloud and contemplate. The phonetics are fantastic and the meaning uplifting.

I must admit, on first read, I felt mildly annoyed at the abundance of adverbs and gerunds, but then I read it aloud. What fun! I love all the ARILY rhymes.

I've got a bit of brain fog at the moment, so I will not double check the rhyme scheme because it makes my head spin! I feel confident you did it right..and it certainly sounds WONDERFUL!

I also will not list each an every nuance to applaud, as I know you know I noticed all the alliteration, consonance and assonance as well as subtle internal rhymes.

But I'll tell you my favorite section to read aloud:


Superb medley of L, F, S and M in these lines:

Life may be filled with a feeling of haziness,
making one miserable unnecessarily.
Snap out of lethargy! Leap up with wakefulness,
striding out forcefully, stepping out merrily,

not sure of scansion on displacing here:

echoing confidence, displacing laziness,

*optional suggestion
dance without fear(,) like a grizzled old bear! Really

LOVE THIS: Celebrate zaniness!

Fine alliteration of V:
It's not the garden variety!" - verily

Scansion forced (to my ear) on this line:
echoing confidence. Displacing laziness,


second favorite stanza (good imagery and phonetics):

make it more difficult, put away caginess,
leap on a bicycle, pedal most hairily,
drumming one-handedly, not minding shakiness,
singing most tunefully, jauntily, airily.

*optional suggestion:

Do not be hesitant, never go warily,(;)
celebrate crashes but learn when you make a mess.

WELL VOICED:
Rise from the ashes - remember, not fearfully!

Pitch perfect closing:

Show you have courage and resonate agelessness,
...strike on your drum!


I absolutely applaud the creative rhyme of make a mess and agelessness! The assonance of A sounds super too!

Enjoyed this. Leans toward a six for creativity and phonetics...though I think a tweak or two would improve it...

Bravo

Warmly,
rd



 Comment Written 24-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2016
    Thanks for your lovely review, RD! Much appreciated, as always! Tony
reply by rama devi on 30-Sep-2016
    :-))))
Comment from kiwisteveh
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Celebrate zaniness!? Your choice of near-impossible rhyming words seems to indicate that you are doing just that! Coupled with your dactylic meter, it makes for a spirited and joyful read. I suppose that the 'brazenness' rhyme deteriorates a little as the poem goes on, ending with 'make a mess', but who cares - it's all part of the fun.

And of course, that ties in beautifully with your theme of put away caginess, do not be hesitant.

I am delighted that my contests seem to be bringing out some adventurous and inventive entries. Great stuff.

Steve

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2016
    Thanks, Steve. Fun to write and a good lesson in choosing words that have several rhymes! I appreciate the six stars! Tony
Comment from Nika2016
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I live it!... Festival day in our town. Music for dancing.. strutting to the beat.. I felt like I was on stage...myself..
Love the poem and it is my philosophy too..
Happy poem!

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2016
    Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem, Nika. Appreciated, as always! Tony
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

These incredible rondeau redoubles have blossomed into something I never dreamed of. This one, I think I'll sit out. I've read several supurb entries. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2016
    Thanks very much for your review and six stars, Debbie. Most generous! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from tollyfaye
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like all the peppy things about this, the rhymes, the rhythm, the picture, the color. I can't read this and not be happy. Good luck in the contest, I feel you will do well!

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2016
    Very many thanks for your kind review, Faye. Glad you enjoyed my rondeau redouble! Tony
Comment from winnona
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A well-written contest entry. The Rondeau Redouble poem rules sound complicated. I think you have completed the challenge of the contest well. The poem is lovely and the artwork completes it.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2016
    Very many thanks for your kind review, Winnona. Glad you enjoyed my rondeau redouble! Tony