Helping Hand
When your mother-in-law helps too much.22 total reviews
Comment from Grasshopper2
The story has a funny, no, more of an Alfred Hitchcock's macabre twist at the end; not funny. And here I thought Debbie's daughter-in-law was a just cute Suzie Homemaker adjusting to her loving mother-in-law. Nah, that's a lie. What the truth is, is that I enjoyed reading this story. Congratulations on winning.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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The story has a funny, no, more of an Alfred Hitchcock's macabre twist at the end; not funny. And here I thought Debbie's daughter-in-law was a just cute Suzie Homemaker adjusting to her loving mother-in-law. Nah, that's a lie. What the truth is, is that I enjoyed reading this story. Congratulations on winning.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed my little story.
Comment from vkmack
Hahahaha! Fantastic ending! I was beginning to wonder where this was going. Mom was getting on my nerves, too. That's exactly what should have happened, because I felt not an ounce of sympathy for her when she met her end.
Great build up and finish!
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Hahahaha! Fantastic ending! I was beginning to wonder where this was going. Mom was getting on my nerves, too. That's exactly what should have happened, because I felt not an ounce of sympathy for her when she met her end.
Great build up and finish!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.
Comment from mfowler
Oh, what a dark little tale you tell.
Poor lonely old lady living under your feet frays the very last nerve left in the wife's body.
She's only trying to help, she says and it's not appreciated. That her meddling includes separating books into those given the nod by God and those not, shows her help comes with judgement.
Even hubby can't help.He just wants his wife to love his mother and appreciate her effort.
IN one evil action, the wife feeds the old dear weed killer and when challenged that this is exactly what she's done, the wife replies: I was only trying to help.
A well developed scenario as layer upon layer of frustration is provided before the wife snaps. Using a first person point of view, the ramping up of anger becomes easy to see and relate to for the reader.
A delicious ending; perfect for flash.
Most enjoyable. Best of luck with the voters.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Oh, what a dark little tale you tell.
Poor lonely old lady living under your feet frays the very last nerve left in the wife's body.
She's only trying to help, she says and it's not appreciated. That her meddling includes separating books into those given the nod by God and those not, shows her help comes with judgement.
Even hubby can't help.He just wants his wife to love his mother and appreciate her effort.
IN one evil action, the wife feeds the old dear weed killer and when challenged that this is exactly what she's done, the wife replies: I was only trying to help.
A well developed scenario as layer upon layer of frustration is provided before the wife snaps. Using a first person point of view, the ramping up of anger becomes easy to see and relate to for the reader.
A delicious ending; perfect for flash.
Most enjoyable. Best of luck with the voters.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Thanks for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Comment from mvbrooks
Strong, positive use of irony. I think most people have experienced a "Debbie" in their life -- someone who tries to use guilt to get their way. I especially liked how you described her ongoing meddling so that the surprise ending wasn't shocking.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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Strong, positive use of irony. I think most people have experienced a "Debbie" in their life -- someone who tries to use guilt to get their way. I especially liked how you described her ongoing meddling so that the surprise ending wasn't shocking.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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I'm glad you liked my story. Thanks for reading!
Comment from DonandVicki
A very dark and gruesome short story. I had a father in law that always tried to help and I wonder as you did , if he was just trying to get under my skin. He died of natural causes.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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A very dark and gruesome short story. I had a father in law that always tried to help and I wonder as you did , if he was just trying to get under my skin. He died of natural causes.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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I hope so... Thanks for reading.
Comment from heyjude
Mj wow. Very well written. You certainly have a lot of ideas and do well expressing them in your writing. Debbie should have known own better.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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Mj wow. Very well written. You certainly have a lot of ideas and do well expressing them in your writing. Debbie should have known own better.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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I'm glad you enjoyed this one. Thanks for reading.
Comment from robyn corum
MMMMMMJJJJJJJJJ....
What a wicked girl you are. *smile* I don't think I could have taken it even THAT long. Weed-killer? Hmmmm...sounds good to me. Have any extra? I have this little issue with my.....
hehehehe
Good luck~!
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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MMMMMMJJJJJJJJJ....
What a wicked girl you are. *smile* I don't think I could have taken it even THAT long. Weed-killer? Hmmmm...sounds good to me. Have any extra? I have this little issue with my.....
hehehehe
Good luck~!
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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Thanks for reading, Robyn. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Mj, wonderful story and with a wonderful twist. I've never had a mother in law that bad, thank goodness. A very good entry for the contest. Good luck. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Hi Mj, wonderful story and with a wonderful twist. I've never had a mother in law that bad, thank goodness. A very good entry for the contest. Good luck. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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I'm glad you enjoyed it, Ulla. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Selina Stambi
I was grinning all the way. Very cleverly told, and you probably will strike some chords in the hearts of many mother-in-law "victims"!
I think you have a winner here, MJ. Well done.
Until next time,
Sonali xx
Between "inverted" commas.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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I was grinning all the way. Very cleverly told, and you probably will strike some chords in the hearts of many mother-in-law "victims"!
I think you have a winner here, MJ. Well done.
Until next time,
Sonali xx
Between "inverted" commas.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!
Comment from misscookie
I found this to be a great read.
Praise God I never had mother in-laws problem she passed before I met her son... God for give it should have be reverse. I best she was a great mother and her son sent her to an early grave.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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I found this to be a great read.
Praise God I never had mother in-laws problem she passed before I met her son... God for give it should have be reverse. I best she was a great mother and her son sent her to an early grave.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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I'm glad you enjoyed my little story.
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My pleasure.
Cookie
