Reviews from

Bus Stop

A strange kiss

13 total reviews 
Comment from Alex Rosel
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading this. It's hard to write an evocative story in just 100 words, but this is a great attempt. Congratulations on coming out on top in the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
    Hi Alex Rose, Thank you for stopping by to read my 100 word das and for your congratulations. I like these challenges Ns glad you enjoyed my attempt . Many Cheers for a great day Christine😀
Comment from Judy Couch
Excellent
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I like the way you built up your story to the kiss and then to the woman in his life. It was a surprise when she came on the scene. Good job.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
    Hi Judy, many thanks for reading and reviewing my story I am pleased you enjoy the twist Cheers Christine😄
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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Oh, dis guy's what we call a play-ah in da hood. Kissin' two womens like that while one is waitin' on him.
Dat jes' ain't right, know what I'm sayin'?
Best of luck to you in the contest.
It has a defined beginning, a conflict (of sorts), and a conclusion what wraps it all up nicely...unless he were to get caught, that is, lol.
Good luck to you in the contest.
~Dean

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
    Hi Dean, Thanks for your review and good luck wishes . it worked as I was equal winner with two others. I thought I would have another go at this particular 100 word dash and Glad you enjoyed my vivid imagination LOL Cheers Christine 😀😀
Comment from light
Excellent
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Great flash fiction. You descriptions were very good, and the reader can feel the passion. You did good job. I hope you do well in the contest.
Elaine

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
    Hi Elaine , Thanks very much for your review and kind words for my story and yes I did well equal winner with two others. so a nice surprise. much appreciation for your time Cheers Christine😀
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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Hi Chrissy. Congratulations on winning the contest. Good little story of strangers on a bus. He doesn't seem to be the best bet for a relationship since he was two-timing his girl. Oh, the cad. This is a worthy story for the contest. Marilyn

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
    Hi Marilyn, Thanks again for your congratulations for my 100 word dash. I don't often do stories but had fun with this one Ha!Ha and yes he was a cad, bit she didn't mind LOL Cheers Christine😄😀
reply by BeasPeas on 31-Aug-2016
    We love those 'bad boys,' don't we?
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
    Ha Ha some
Comment from Heather Knight
Excellent
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Not a very nice guy, cheating on his girlfriend like that with a total stranger, I have to say...
Well told story and good picture.
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
    Hi MJ. Thanks for reading my story and no he was not, but imagination is unlimited LOL . Thanks for your good luck wishes Cheers
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
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First paragraph is one run-on sentence that would read better if broken into two shorter ones.

"Waiting to catch the bus, I looked around." And "Our eyes locked momentarily and I knew he felt it too."

"Boarding I" should be "Boarding, I".

"strangers kiss" should be "stranger's kiss".

This overall quality of this contest entry could be improved with a little editing.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
    Hi Brett. Thanks for your review and helpful comments I will revise some . Cheers
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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The hundred- word story about a first kiss, Bus Stop, has a elevating story that puts the skids on at the end. The kiss and the reveal are both unusual happenings that fit well into your story.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
    Hi Bill. Thanks for yor review and comment, always a story with a twist LOL appreciate your time to read this Cheers
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
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I'll bet your senior class voted you, the girl most likely. I love the story. Once in a while everyone needs something unexpected in their life to keep things interesting.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
    Ha Ha Thomas, Glad you liked my vivid imagination and I hope it was interesting and a bit different. Appreciate your review Cheers
Comment from clsandau
Excellent
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This was a nicely written 100 word dash. I particularly enjoyed the startling ending to the story. I think you told the whole story very well with very few words. Great picture you have on it too. Carol

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016
    Hi Carol, Thank very mich for your encouraging words for my story took a bit of editing bit I am glad you thought it worthy and I liked that image also Cheers