Herman and Tootsie
Budding Romance33 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I found this a bit hamfisted. But that's just how the cookie crumbles. Everything is making me think of food. Nice writing handsome, mostly. A little heavy on the bigness. Maybe I am sensitive. Karen
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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I found this a bit hamfisted. But that's just how the cookie crumbles. Everything is making me think of food. Nice writing handsome, mostly. A little heavy on the bigness. Maybe I am sensitive. Karen
Comment Written 28-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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This was supposed to be foolish cornball humor, but I hope it's a little bit sweet that their might be someone out there for every one. Thanks for your generous review, kind words, and comments. I appreciate YOU!
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Oh, do go on.:-)
Comment from lyenochka
Aww! That's so cute! And yes, I know Steve Urkel and of course, I know Barney. That made it easy to imagine Herman. Laughed at "ferocity of an electrocuted cat." And sometimes it is the opposites that do attract and these two hit it off very well.
This was written back in 2016 and I'm so happy that you clarified the reasons not to trust Trump. I don't think he has the billions he claims to have as he's spending more than he makes. His hotel in HI was sold to a Japanese company.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2023
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Aww! That's so cute! And yes, I know Steve Urkel and of course, I know Barney. That made it easy to imagine Herman. Laughed at "ferocity of an electrocuted cat." And sometimes it is the opposites that do attract and these two hit it off very well.
This was written back in 2016 and I'm so happy that you clarified the reasons not to trust Trump. I don't think he has the billions he claims to have as he's spending more than he makes. His hotel in HI was sold to a Japanese company.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, Helen, for dropping in to read another of my old foolish stories. Yes, sometimes, opposites attract and it makes for a life of variation. LOL. Trump and I played golf together back in the 70s. He was a liar and a cheat back then, and it doesn't appear he has changed, unless maybe for the worse. :-) A great big hug and a little peck on the forehead for you my sweet friend!!! It's always a pleasure to see your name and get your kind and generous reviews. I appreciate YOU!
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Comment from karenina
Whoa. Take the stereotypes, turn them upside down, sprinkle in some irony and toss it in a boat so the waves can make the most stalwart sea-faring reader unsteady...
That's a recipe for a most unexpected story--
I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry--but he got his wife in the end and against all societal odds they found something a whole lot of people go to their grave having never experienced.
The appeal was the reverse sexism. SHE is the trucker, HE is the teacher. He is the petite, SHE is the BEHEMOTH...
A deep thinker (or even a determined wader into thought) might even think the last laugh was you catching all of us in our biases and unspoken expectations of how this was going to go!
Lots of lessons herein...framed in humor. The best artists know the right "frame" can make the painting!
--Karenina
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Whoa. Take the stereotypes, turn them upside down, sprinkle in some irony and toss it in a boat so the waves can make the most stalwart sea-faring reader unsteady...
That's a recipe for a most unexpected story--
I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry--but he got his wife in the end and against all societal odds they found something a whole lot of people go to their grave having never experienced.
The appeal was the reverse sexism. SHE is the trucker, HE is the teacher. He is the petite, SHE is the BEHEMOTH...
A deep thinker (or even a determined wader into thought) might even think the last laugh was you catching all of us in our biases and unspoken expectations of how this was going to go!
Lots of lessons herein...framed in humor. The best artists know the right "frame" can make the painting!
--Karenina
Comment Written 16-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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I'm like you in that I don't know if these characters should make me laugh or cry. Misfits in every sense of the word, so I had to give them something positive in life, which not everyone is so fortunate to find. I am honored and delighted that you are checking out my portfolio, but, please, remember that there are lots of mistakes and changes I would make now from when I wrote most of these. I'm going to have to find time to do just that. Many of my stories might seem foolish to most, but thankfully there are a few like you who pick up and understand my thoughts and intentions. Hope you had another good day! I'm counting down every day with you until the 21st. Thanks, I appreciate You!
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A wise man once said that (and I'm paraphrasing)--that writing is the agonizing process of staring at your work for an hour then adding a comma...only to go back the next day and remove it!" We ALL feel we could revise and improve--much the same as in life, in fact! As you can see, I never surf on the surface...not if I like the writing. I look beneath and between the lines to discern what the more global meaning could be--or at minimum what that meaning IS to me. I did notice that just about every post of yours has a minimum of thirty reviews--and often much more. That should reassure you that whatever you're doing or have done, you are reaching an audience! Waiting to leave to go see my granddaughter and daughter--my son in law is under the weather. It's a crisp sunny autumn day so we'll socially distance and take a walk. No dinner together I'm afraid. Sad to see covid numbers ticking up--but Fauci warned us, didn't he? I did not think for one moment this was your personal point of view--so kudos in letting your imagination fly and still offering a happy ending!--Gotta run. Keep counting! I'm waiting for the 22nd so I can say it all went well and is behind me!--K
Comment from AJ McCall
This was a sweet one. Very funny indeed. I love the way you describe the surroundings, people, or the way the characters speak to one another. I truly enjoyed this one!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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This was a sweet one. Very funny indeed. I love the way you describe the surroundings, people, or the way the characters speak to one another. I truly enjoyed this one!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Yes, like many of us in this world, Herman and Tootsie were broken. But they were still good people just wanting to be happy, and as fate would have it, they found each other. Sadly, it doesn't always work out so well for many. But it's nice in the cases that do. Someone once told me to pay attention to the dialog and the characters, and the plot will take care of itself. I don't know how true or false that statement is, but I do pay most of my attention on build distinct characters. Usually people have sympathy for in some way. See I don't always use sick endings or make the women the bad people. LOL. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging review! I appreciate you more than mere words can express!
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You're welcome! I see you're writing a novella again lol! :)
Comment from Gloria ....
Well Ric, I think is a fabulous story and also funny and the irony is terrific.
You've written amazing descriptions as I can picture the whole thing going down.
Even the fairy tale ending works like a charm and of course the asides to Donald Trump are just gravy on the french fries.
Super job. You are just getting better and better all the time. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Well Ric, I think is a fabulous story and also funny and the irony is terrific.
You've written amazing descriptions as I can picture the whole thing going down.
Even the fairy tale ending works like a charm and of course the asides to Donald Trump are just gravy on the french fries.
Super job. You are just getting better and better all the time. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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I am so honored and thankful whenever anyone spends their time to read and review my stories, but I'm never totally satisfied and happy until I see your reviews and comments. I mean, I started from square one, knowing absolutely nothing about writing, grammar, or punctuation, other than a few basics, and without your encouragement and reassurance convincing me to keep plugging, I would have given up a long time ago. I'm glad I could slather your taters with some gravy! Thanks a million, for being you! :-)
Comment from Ravenbrok
Such an enjoyable story. It shines the light on diversity, and, unfortunately, the cruelty of people towards others.
Only minute points here and there. One that stood out to me was the paragraph, "Dressed impeccably, in a dainty, multi-layered off-white and black polka dot Chiffon skirt, cut well above the knees, and a black light-gauze polyester blouse accented by a florescent pink belt and neck scarf." I'm not sure if I was caught up in the description, but it seems to be one sentence rather than a paragraph, and there doesn't seem to be a subject.
I think combining several short paragraphs that are a continuation of Tootsie's description might serve you better. For example,
"Almost six foot and weighing approximately three-hundred pounds, Tootsie was a behemoth-sized woman(. Who d) ressed impeccably, in a dainty, multi-layered off-white and black polka dot Chiffon skirt, cut well above the knees, and a black light-gauze polyester blouse accented by a florescent pink belt and neck scarf. Fine quality feminine apparel for women on the go, she only bought the best--but, let us face the facts, folks--Tootsie was butt ugly, big butt UGG-U-G-L-Y! Expensive clothes, even a genie from a lantern or a wizard with a super-duper magic wand couldn't make Tootsie's Humpty-Dumpty physique with her bulging boxcar caboose fit in such skimpy, clingy attire. The slightest glimpse of her rolling, fat thunder-thighs bubbling out from beneath her skirt gave immediate evidence of her bad style choices and tasteless charm.
**I placed parentheses around my suggestions.
I really enjoyed your wonderfully descriptive storytelling and look forward to reading more from you. Happy writing!!
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Such an enjoyable story. It shines the light on diversity, and, unfortunately, the cruelty of people towards others.
Only minute points here and there. One that stood out to me was the paragraph, "Dressed impeccably, in a dainty, multi-layered off-white and black polka dot Chiffon skirt, cut well above the knees, and a black light-gauze polyester blouse accented by a florescent pink belt and neck scarf." I'm not sure if I was caught up in the description, but it seems to be one sentence rather than a paragraph, and there doesn't seem to be a subject.
I think combining several short paragraphs that are a continuation of Tootsie's description might serve you better. For example,
"Almost six foot and weighing approximately three-hundred pounds, Tootsie was a behemoth-sized woman(. Who d) ressed impeccably, in a dainty, multi-layered off-white and black polka dot Chiffon skirt, cut well above the knees, and a black light-gauze polyester blouse accented by a florescent pink belt and neck scarf. Fine quality feminine apparel for women on the go, she only bought the best--but, let us face the facts, folks--Tootsie was butt ugly, big butt UGG-U-G-L-Y! Expensive clothes, even a genie from a lantern or a wizard with a super-duper magic wand couldn't make Tootsie's Humpty-Dumpty physique with her bulging boxcar caboose fit in such skimpy, clingy attire. The slightest glimpse of her rolling, fat thunder-thighs bubbling out from beneath her skirt gave immediate evidence of her bad style choices and tasteless charm.
**I placed parentheses around my suggestions.
I really enjoyed your wonderfully descriptive storytelling and look forward to reading more from you. Happy writing!!
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Thanks for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and suggestions are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from hummingbirdhill
What a delightful, humorous love story, proving once again that there is someone for everyone in the world of love.
Your story bounces along with rhythm and sometimes wry humor.
One grammar correction he gave up teaching and found him (himself) a new profession. That's a tricky one,
I love your, "You know, like someone trying to sneak out a little gas in a crowded elevator." and........
"She shook and sobbed, occasionally swiping her arm across her eyes and nose, streaking a blurred mess of snot and makeup across her face and sleeve."
You made both characters uniquely identifiable, allowing funny pictures of their encounters in my mind, and out-loud laughs. This short story would work well as a short play, or the basis several comedy scene in a movie.
Great Job!
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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What a delightful, humorous love story, proving once again that there is someone for everyone in the world of love.
Your story bounces along with rhythm and sometimes wry humor.
One grammar correction he gave up teaching and found him (himself) a new profession. That's a tricky one,
I love your, "You know, like someone trying to sneak out a little gas in a crowded elevator." and........
"She shook and sobbed, occasionally swiping her arm across her eyes and nose, streaking a blurred mess of snot and makeup across her face and sleeve."
You made both characters uniquely identifiable, allowing funny pictures of their encounters in my mind, and out-loud laughs. This short story would work well as a short play, or the basis several comedy scene in a movie.
Great Job!
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Hummingbirdhill, for taking time to read my story. This review is one of those that keeps us plugging and struggling along to get better. Encouragement, by someone who understands everything the story is meant to be about. Your kind words, grammar correction, and extra generous six-star review are greatly appreciated. I'm glad you liked it. :-)
Comment from Bill Schott
This story has a charm about it that comes from understanding what it might be like to be a 'Barney Fife' or a Tootsie Tuttle. Other than having these extreme qualities about them, the budding love story is one that parallels many I've heard from actual people. I have a bit of trouble with the narrator's role. He is sometimes omniscient, seeming to know the characters' thoughts, and at one time, a background character in the story. Other than that I enjoyed the upbeat tale.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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This story has a charm about it that comes from understanding what it might be like to be a 'Barney Fife' or a Tootsie Tuttle. Other than having these extreme qualities about them, the budding love story is one that parallels many I've heard from actual people. I have a bit of trouble with the narrator's role. He is sometimes omniscient, seeming to know the characters' thoughts, and at one time, a background character in the story. Other than that I enjoyed the upbeat tale.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Bill, for taking time to read my story. Yes, these characters seemed like real people to me. Not an overweight girl and a skinny man, but too people who proved that real attraction doesn't come from looks or how someone dresses. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from winnona
Well written and very realistic. you gave enough details to your characters to bring them to life. While they are funny they are also exactly the way most everyday people are going about their every day lives.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Well written and very realistic. you gave enough details to your characters to bring them to life. While they are funny they are also exactly the way most everyday people are going about their every day lives.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Winnona, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I'm so glad you liked it. :-)
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Tightly written with good character development.
Touch of humor thrown in for good measure.
Most Convenience Stores do have lines exactly as depicted in this story.
Truckers find romance on the road anywhere they can.
Should make for an interesting entry into this contest.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Tightly written with good character development.
Touch of humor thrown in for good measure.
Most Convenience Stores do have lines exactly as depicted in this story.
Truckers find romance on the road anywhere they can.
Should make for an interesting entry into this contest.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Cody's Corner, for taking time to read my story. There is nothing you could have said that would have made me any happier. All I want with a story like this is for people to be able to relate to part of it. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
