No One
a 1-6-112 total reviews
Comment from fluffnstuff
I can see why you got an award for this one...so simple..so short...so very full of emotion within it. I do believe I will check your portfolio out...and would appreciate your expertise on mine...my only bucket-list item--- to put the best ones that people relate to into book form before I die... fluff
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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I can see why you got an award for this one...so simple..so short...so very full of emotion within it. I do believe I will check your portfolio out...and would appreciate your expertise on mine...my only bucket-list item--- to put the best ones that people relate to into book form before I die... fluff
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you, fluff, for bringing this one back into the light of day. I appreciate the invitation to help you sort your poetry out. I will go to your portfolio soon and give them a rating and comment. I'm sure yours are better than mine.
Comment from judiverse
Hi, Bill, and congratulations on your contest win. The picture and your poem suggest the sadness of being alone. You emphasize the sadness of not having a family member present by your words "not one." It's almost a story, and readers could speculate on why the man is standing there along. You get in your rhyme and syllable requirement too. Great work. judi
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Hi, Bill, and congratulations on your contest win. The picture and your poem suggest the sadness of being alone. You emphasize the sadness of not having a family member present by your words "not one." It's almost a story, and readers could speculate on why the man is standing there along. You get in your rhyme and syllable requirement too. Great work. judi
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Thank you, judi, for the nice review. Bill
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You're welcome, and you really crammed a lot into this three-liner. judi
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You're welcome, and you really crammed a lot into this three-liner. judi
Comment from frogbook
This is a sad and very effective little poem with it's powerfully lonely message. Great use of the prompt to show what is one side of a family meeting.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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This is a sad and very effective little poem with it's powerfully lonely message. Great use of the prompt to show what is one side of a family meeting.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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Thank you, FB, for reviewing. Bill
Comment from mvbrooks
This seems to capture the angst of being forgotten after a long trip. Interesting picture/inspiration as there are three people--the one with the luggage is the one in the darkest shadows and has his face eclipse while the other two have part of their faces showing. The picture makes the words more haunting
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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This seems to capture the angst of being forgotten after a long trip. Interesting picture/inspiration as there are three people--the one with the luggage is the one in the darkest shadows and has his face eclipse while the other two have part of their faces showing. The picture makes the words more haunting
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from suep
I enjoyed your 1-6-1. Great impact ... feeling alone. Big and close knit families sound wonderful, but we don't all have them. No doubt many can relate to this, myself included. I love how your 1st and 3rd line combine to make the title. Perfect picture choice and great presentation. Nice work. Best wishes in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2016
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I enjoyed your 1-6-1. Great impact ... feeling alone. Big and close knit families sound wonderful, but we don't all have them. No doubt many can relate to this, myself included. I love how your 1st and 3rd line combine to make the title. Perfect picture choice and great presentation. Nice work. Best wishes in the contest! :)
Comment Written 13-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Suep, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from William Ross
Good, been there done that, sad, used to fly home on leave from the service, no one there to meet me. Good job on this, have a great day
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2016
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Good, been there done that, sad, used to fly home on leave from the service, no one there to meet me. Good job on this, have a great day
Comment Written 13-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2016
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Thank you, William, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Bollie
I think it's interesting for a 1-6-1 formatted poem. I do think that to break Family into a 2 syllable word in order to comply with the contest requirements is a stretch, but it does show imagination. GOOD LUCK in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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I think it's interesting for a 1-6-1 formatted poem. I do think that to break Family into a 2 syllable word in order to comply with the contest requirements is a stretch, but it does show imagination. GOOD LUCK in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you. It was actually written differently until I was reminded that the theme had to do with family. It may be a stretch, but, in reality, it's just a poem.
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Thank you for responding
to my review.
Have a great night.
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Thank you for responding
to my review.
Have a great night.
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Thank you for responding
to my review.
Have a great night.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I volunteer at least once a week (sometimes twice if needed) to go to area nursing homes and talk to the elderly shut-ins who are all too often neglected by their loved ones and friends. I do it through a program at our church called The Adopt a Son or Daughter program. We meet with these people and they chose which one of our members they wish to "adopt." it's really funny, but I've been in demand lately because I read my scary poetry and stories to them. You'd be surprised at how many elderly love that sort of thing, and I feel it's one of the reasons that God gave me this "gift", if that's what one chooses to call what I do a "gift."
I can tell you this much.
They bless me infinitely more than I could ever hope to be a blessing to them.
This is a poignant, hard-hitting 1-6-1 which says so much while saying very little.
I wish you the very best of luck in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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I volunteer at least once a week (sometimes twice if needed) to go to area nursing homes and talk to the elderly shut-ins who are all too often neglected by their loved ones and friends. I do it through a program at our church called The Adopt a Son or Daughter program. We meet with these people and they chose which one of our members they wish to "adopt." it's really funny, but I've been in demand lately because I read my scary poetry and stories to them. You'd be surprised at how many elderly love that sort of thing, and I feel it's one of the reasons that God gave me this "gift", if that's what one chooses to call what I do a "gift."
I can tell you this much.
They bless me infinitely more than I could ever hope to be a blessing to them.
This is a poignant, hard-hitting 1-6-1 which says so much while saying very little.
I wish you the very best of luck in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Dean, for all you do to touch the lives of others. Thanks also for the excellent review.
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You're more than welcome.
~Dean
Comment from fimarie78
Your piece was cleverly framed with no-one. All of the 1-6-1's I have read lend themselves to further writing. I am intrigued. Why didn't they come?
Best of luck in the contest
Fiona
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Your piece was cleverly framed with no-one. All of the 1-6-1's I have read lend themselves to further writing. I am intrigued. Why didn't they come?
Best of luck in the contest
Fiona
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Fiona, for the excellent review. These are the moments you learn where you stand.
Comment from Galactia
Hi
This is an excellent entry into the 1,6,1 poetry contest. Perfect syllable count across all lines. One thing you can always really on is yourself.
Great job and good luck in the contest
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Hi
This is an excellent entry into the 1,6,1 poetry contest. Perfect syllable count across all lines. One thing you can always really on is yourself.
Great job and good luck in the contest
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Tia, For the excellent review.
