Inevitable Reunion
Not all get-togethers go as scheduled.5 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, I know that when reviewing I am supposed to look for spag or ways to help a writer make a story better and offer suggestions. But, far as I'm concerned, I would enjoy reading this story if there was spag in every line. The only advice I can give you is, keep writing, as I don't think they get much better than this piece. Thanks for the pleasure of reading your outstanding story, and best of luck in the contest! :-)
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2016
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Well, I know that when reviewing I am supposed to look for spag or ways to help a writer make a story better and offer suggestions. But, far as I'm concerned, I would enjoy reading this story if there was spag in every line. The only advice I can give you is, keep writing, as I don't think they get much better than this piece. Thanks for the pleasure of reading your outstanding story, and best of luck in the contest! :-)
Comment Written 13-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2016
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Your kind words and fine rating are well received. Definitely appreciate the praise. Good luck in your own writing efforts.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Reunions almost never go as expected.
People change so much over the years that what you remember is most often not what they currently are as this story depicts.
Should be a good contest entry.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2016
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Reunions almost never go as expected.
People change so much over the years that what you remember is most often not what they currently are as this story depicts.
Should be a good contest entry.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the appreciation and good rating. Good luck in your own writing.
Comment from WalkerMan
Having recently traveled a thousand miles (each way) to attend a fifty-fifth reunion that had its own odd twists, I found this story both realistic and moving throughout its plausible dialog. Closure is always welcome relief to those left wondering for a long time, especially if there's some good in it. "Not all lives go as planned." I'd say, relatively few do. The kind of simple error that took Louise's attention off the road is all too common. Today, it's often texting. The needless result is the same. There's a memorable quality to this story -- hence the Six.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2016
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Having recently traveled a thousand miles (each way) to attend a fifty-fifth reunion that had its own odd twists, I found this story both realistic and moving throughout its plausible dialog. Closure is always welcome relief to those left wondering for a long time, especially if there's some good in it. "Not all lives go as planned." I'd say, relatively few do. The kind of simple error that took Louise's attention off the road is all too common. Today, it's often texting. The needless result is the same. There's a memorable quality to this story -- hence the Six.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2016
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Your praise and thoughts are most welcome So is the Six. Good luck in your own writing.
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You are welcome.
In my case, I was the outsider from a very different background in another state, and with them only for my senior year. Yet, they welcomed me in every way; and that year was one of the best in my life. When, after not seeing me for decades, they realized I was short of funds for the trip to the reunion, they even got together, made the trip possible, and greeted me warmly when I got there. Yet, there were some too ill to come, and others already gone -- some tragically. We cannot know what goes on in others' lives unless they tell us, and then it is hard to know what to say.
Perhaps that information helps you to understand why I found your story so moving (whether or not you made it up). You earned the Six in my subjective point of view.
Thanks for the well wishes. -- Mike
Comment from cterp
Very nice story told very well. The heavy emphasis on dialog meant that the author had to rely on building the setting within the dialog, and managed to do that skillfully--no clunkiness. Good job. There was a missing end quote somewhere; I neglected to note it. Sorry. But I did note this:
"could match the way you looked [at] me"
chris
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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Very nice story told very well. The heavy emphasis on dialog meant that the author had to rely on building the setting within the dialog, and managed to do that skillfully--no clunkiness. Good job. There was a missing end quote somewhere; I neglected to note it. Sorry. But I did note this:
"could match the way you looked [at] me"
chris
Comment Written 09-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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Thank you for the kind words, notes and fine rating. Good luck in your own writing efforts.
Comment from Janilou
Just loved your short story. I have only one small point to mention and it in no way detracts from your work. I felt as if I was right there on that beach!
This paragraph below was a little hard for me to keep my attention on. It is early in the story, and I think a small break for an action would help a lot. Perhaps he could sigh, shake his head, brush a piece of grit from his face etc. Then continue. Just a thought. I really enjoyed reading this.
"Nothing more appealing than once again chasing the elusive trout with you. The official reunion events mean nothing to me. But our past hours wetting lines are memories worth honoring. And so is your companionship. Looking forward to tomorrow and successful fishing. As for my other high school contemporaries, I don't blame them for keeping me an outsider. In fact, my subdued personality made it easier for them. (PERHAPS PUT A SLIGHT ACTION BREAK HERE?)
After all, they were offspring of space scientists and engineers. Hell, their parents put Americans on the moon. Those kids were used to being the smartest and wealthiest in the room. They had no interest in rubbing elbows with a newbie who lived with his waitress mother."
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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Just loved your short story. I have only one small point to mention and it in no way detracts from your work. I felt as if I was right there on that beach!
This paragraph below was a little hard for me to keep my attention on. It is early in the story, and I think a small break for an action would help a lot. Perhaps he could sigh, shake his head, brush a piece of grit from his face etc. Then continue. Just a thought. I really enjoyed reading this.
"Nothing more appealing than once again chasing the elusive trout with you. The official reunion events mean nothing to me. But our past hours wetting lines are memories worth honoring. And so is your companionship. Looking forward to tomorrow and successful fishing. As for my other high school contemporaries, I don't blame them for keeping me an outsider. In fact, my subdued personality made it easier for them. (PERHAPS PUT A SLIGHT ACTION BREAK HERE?)
After all, they were offspring of space scientists and engineers. Hell, their parents put Americans on the moon. Those kids were used to being the smartest and wealthiest in the room. They had no interest in rubbing elbows with a newbie who lived with his waitress mother."
Comment Written 09-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. Glad you enjoyed it. Good luck in your own writings.
