Ticking Monster
Shakespearean Sonnet29 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
I am definitely not a poet but I do know what I like. I really like this one and hope it meets all the requirements of the contest. I wish you all the best in this contest too.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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I am definitely not a poet but I do know what I like. I really like this one and hope it meets all the requirements of the contest. I wish you all the best in this contest too.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016
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Thanks, Sasha.
Never mind the ticking monster - just keep on enjoying life!
Steve
Comment from I am Cat
Steve,
Wonderfully composed, GREAT theme, perfect in construction, awesome word choices... I just love your entire thought process on this... of course, TIME is one of my favorite things to write about, and this is just a great sonnet!
one note:
Though patient(,) Time keeps measure of our days,
He's but a box of cogs and wheels, a toy.
As lovers we may yet avoid his gaze,
And trip our own sweet measure, love and joy.
(my FAVORITE part!)
Great luck in the contest! Well done!
Cat
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Steve,
Wonderfully composed, GREAT theme, perfect in construction, awesome word choices... I just love your entire thought process on this... of course, TIME is one of my favorite things to write about, and this is just a great sonnet!
one note:
Though patient(,) Time keeps measure of our days,
He's but a box of cogs and wheels, a toy.
As lovers we may yet avoid his gaze,
And trip our own sweet measure, love and joy.
(my FAVORITE part!)
Great luck in the contest! Well done!
Cat
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Hi, Cat! Haven't seen you around for a while - I guess with weddings and floods and things you have been very bust elsewhere.
Thanks for the excellent review. There were some great entries in this contest and voting is tighter than Brexit!
Steve
Comment from penelopehart
Brilliant personification.
One can hear the tic toc in your delightful sonnet and the joy of life.
We live a moment at a time, so Time is both endless and limiting and your clever verse both gives Time it's limitlessness and it's precious moment, in which we live.
Congratulations on your awards.
Good to have come across you.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Brilliant personification.
One can hear the tic toc in your delightful sonnet and the joy of life.
We live a moment at a time, so Time is both endless and limiting and your clever verse both gives Time it's limitlessness and it's precious moment, in which we live.
Congratulations on your awards.
Good to have come across you.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Penelope (or Penny?) Thanks so much for the great review and thoughtful response.
There were some excellent entries for this contest and the voting is even tighter than the Brexit vote.
Cheers.
Steve
Comment from Just2Write
A beautiful Shakespearian Sonnet, Steve. This is a form that you excel in, and this submission is no exception. Time is always a favourite theme of mine, and as it is 'timeless' it is a perfect way to span the years from the time of the bard to now.
Great personification of the clock and play on words in
Oh, how he grins to have the upper hand (grins on the clock's face / upper hand - as in the hands of a clock)
I also like how you point out that lovers have a misunderstanding of forever. That is indeed a very long time - something the clock might begin to understand, but we as mere mortals surely do not.
Excellent write, my friend. I think this one might be the winner.
Rose.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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A beautiful Shakespearian Sonnet, Steve. This is a form that you excel in, and this submission is no exception. Time is always a favourite theme of mine, and as it is 'timeless' it is a perfect way to span the years from the time of the bard to now.
Great personification of the clock and play on words in
Oh, how he grins to have the upper hand (grins on the clock's face / upper hand - as in the hands of a clock)
I also like how you point out that lovers have a misunderstanding of forever. That is indeed a very long time - something the clock might begin to understand, but we as mere mortals surely do not.
Excellent write, my friend. I think this one might be the winner.
Rose.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Rose, thanks so much for the great review (as usual!) I think you show more understanding of the piece than pretty much anyone else. Some excellent entries in this comp. and still several that could win...
Steve
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Shakespearean sonnet. The ticking monster became part of our daily lives. We can make him our enemy or our friend. It is up to us how we will treat and use time.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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A very well-written Shakespearean sonnet. The ticking monster became part of our daily lives. We can make him our enemy or our friend. It is up to us how we will treat and use time.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Sandra, thanks for reading and understanding the point of my poem.
Steve
Comment from johnwilson
Oh, yes....this is another winner reminiscent of John Donne and beautifully orchestrates time's hold over us all! Thanks for a wonderful read. The rhyming works flawlessly and each word makes the reader crave the next one.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Oh, yes....this is another winner reminiscent of John Donne and beautifully orchestrates time's hold over us all! Thanks for a wonderful read. The rhyming works flawlessly and each word makes the reader crave the next one.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Thank you very much for the kind words. Don't think I've ever been 'Donne' before!
Steve
Comment from Dawn Munro
And sprinkle fair love's dwelling with those rosebuds! *smile* This is wonderful, Steve, though I would expect no less from your quill, especially when it comes to a sonnet - how very clever and original, this romantic beauty!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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And sprinkle fair love's dwelling with those rosebuds! *smile* This is wonderful, Steve, though I would expect no less from your quill, especially when it comes to a sonnet - how very clever and original, this romantic beauty!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Dawn, thanks so much for the great review and the six stars - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Bill Schott
This Shakespearean sonnet, Ticking Monster, has a happy ending that defies the creeping cruelty of time. The sonnet has a nice set up and turns at line nine to reveal that time has relevance only to clock-watchers. Like it.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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This Shakespearean sonnet, Ticking Monster, has a happy ending that defies the creeping cruelty of time. The sonnet has a nice set up and turns at line nine to reveal that time has relevance only to clock-watchers. Like it.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Bill, I appreciate this wonderful review (and the vote, I suspect). That's exactly the point. I guess I am guilty of it myself - thinking about ageing, rather than just getting on and living life.
Steve
Comment from Leineco
I must confess - I so prefer this "modernized language" form of sonnet! Although you have kept within the traditional realm of emotions and "big"
concepts (love & time) you have done so in a most enjoyable way.
Great Sonnet Steve :-)
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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I must confess - I so prefer this "modernized language" form of sonnet! Although you have kept within the traditional realm of emotions and "big"
concepts (love & time) you have done so in a most enjoyable way.
Great Sonnet Steve :-)
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Thank you. There are some wonderful sonnets in this contest. Good luck to you as well.
Steve
Comment from Liberty Justice
Very interesting ideas about time. "Flow like sand" is great similie depicting how time seens to slip away Great analogy to hands on a clock. liberty justice
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Very interesting ideas about time. "Flow like sand" is great similie depicting how time seens to slip away Great analogy to hands on a clock. liberty justice
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Thanks for the kind words. Perhaps that simile is becoming a little cliched now, but it did echo well with the pebbles on the beach further down.
Steve
