Buzz!
Fly in the ointment...34 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
hahahahaha -- 'she' - like the old 'b' movie with rachel welch? SHE???? hahahaha
Fabulous. And I can soooo relate to SWMBO. Leave her alone, for heaven's sake. She has a calling - and it's a mighty one! Kill 'em all!
I actually wrote a companion piece to this called 'Don't focus on the flies' - hmmm...mainly because I DO~! hahaha
Great piece. Great writing. NO nits.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
  |
hahahahaha -- 'she' - like the old 'b' movie with rachel welch? SHE???? hahahaha
Fabulous. And I can soooo relate to SWMBO. Leave her alone, for heaven's sake. She has a calling - and it's a mighty one! Kill 'em all!
I actually wrote a companion piece to this called 'Don't focus on the flies' - hmmm...mainly because I DO~! hahaha
Great piece. Great writing. NO nits.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
-
Thanks, Robyn.
I must remember when winter grips us, to be thankful for no flies.
Steve
Comment from mfowler
Living in Australia would teach you a thing or two about flies, but that cow poo factory you describe so eloquently will just about do it too. Characterising your wife as Rumpole of the Bailey's spouse, SWMBO, gives your wife a persona I'm sure she doesn't deserve, but since we're talking about BLOODY flies here, I can imagine the issue would curdle an otherwise perfectly good natured wife's personality for a season. Your diatribe against the swarming masses is very funny and beautifully written. You've made the ordinary interesting and in this case fly chasing hilarious. Loved the closing anecdotes about the drive for reinforcements only to find SWMBO lying asleep with a fly for company.
Spag
distictive buzzing...distinctive
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
|
Living in Australia would teach you a thing or two about flies, but that cow poo factory you describe so eloquently will just about do it too. Characterising your wife as Rumpole of the Bailey's spouse, SWMBO, gives your wife a persona I'm sure she doesn't deserve, but since we're talking about BLOODY flies here, I can imagine the issue would curdle an otherwise perfectly good natured wife's personality for a season. Your diatribe against the swarming masses is very funny and beautifully written. You've made the ordinary interesting and in this case fly chasing hilarious. Loved the closing anecdotes about the drive for reinforcements only to find SWMBO lying asleep with a fly for company.
Spag
distictive buzzing...distinctive
Comment Written 18-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
-
Thanks, Mark. Funny you are the only one to spot the typo in distinctive...
Yeah, I know I shouldn't try to teach an Aussie about flies. I remember them in Longreach, and in Warwick they had some that used to arrive in squadrons and just sit on you...
Shame about the cricket! Not!
Steve
-
Warwick welcomes you with flies. I was ther a couple of weeks back.
Thanks for the fun reply.
Yeahm shame about the cricket. You guys are red hot over twenty overs.
Comment from DonandVicki
I guess I'm a lucky guy we live in an area where there are few flies or mosquitos or any bugs at all, one less thing for my SWMBO to get iritared with.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
|
I guess I'm a lucky guy we live in an area where there are few flies or mosquitos or any bugs at all, one less thing for my SWMBO to get iritared with.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
-
Thank you. We have a little patch of paradise here - just a few inconveniences to put up with at times.
Steve
Comment from Chrissy710
Ha Ha Ha Steve, What a beaut story and I am glad the flies of the world have migrated over to you, as although our Summer is an Indian one, I have hardly seen flies in plague proportions all Summer ( although you have the advantage of cow dung which is fly fodder so you keep them over there thanks) I hate Mossies and I do have a little can of spray in my bottom draw that I can find in the dark for a quick squirt when attacked LOL, so I did smile at your wife's fetish for multiple cans of spray.
A well written prose piece full of humour and my favourite word was prognosticators/ing.
Cheers for a great read Cheers Christineð???
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016
 |
Ha Ha Ha Steve, What a beaut story and I am glad the flies of the world have migrated over to you, as although our Summer is an Indian one, I have hardly seen flies in plague proportions all Summer ( although you have the advantage of cow dung which is fly fodder so you keep them over there thanks) I hate Mossies and I do have a little can of spray in my bottom draw that I can find in the dark for a quick squirt when attacked LOL, so I did smile at your wife's fetish for multiple cans of spray.
A well written prose piece full of humour and my favourite word was prognosticators/ing.
Cheers for a great read Cheers Christineð???
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016
-
Chrissy, thanks so much for the fine review and the six glorious stars!
You have animals too, don't you? You'd think you have your share of flies.
Steve
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hahahaha! This was g-r-r-r-r-r-r-e-a-t, Steve-oh, and from I hear around the water cooler it's all the buzz here at good old FanStory. Oh to be a fly on the wall, 'ey?
I especially liked your abbreviated "pet" name for the fairer-sexed spouse in this funny fly fable. SWMBO, or "Swim-Bo".
Good stuff. The ending also had me rolling off my seat, laughing. All that time, work, energy, and effort she expended...and for what? Just so that one tiny fly could flaunt its victory in her face--quite literally--that he was still very much alive (for the time being), and not the least bit afraid.
When I was still married, my wife caught me doing much the same as the woman in this tale.
"What 'cah doin', hon?" she asked.
"Swatting flies,", I replied.
"Oh? Did you get any?" she inquired, smiling.
Yeah, two males and three females," I answered.
"Now just how on earth would you know what sex they are?" she responded incredulously.
Calmly, and without cracking so much as a grin, I returned:
"Because two were on a beer can, and three were on your cell phone."
Great story, Steve. Thanks for the much needed laugh!
~Dean
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
|
Hahahaha! This was g-r-r-r-r-r-r-e-a-t, Steve-oh, and from I hear around the water cooler it's all the buzz here at good old FanStory. Oh to be a fly on the wall, 'ey?
I especially liked your abbreviated "pet" name for the fairer-sexed spouse in this funny fly fable. SWMBO, or "Swim-Bo".
Good stuff. The ending also had me rolling off my seat, laughing. All that time, work, energy, and effort she expended...and for what? Just so that one tiny fly could flaunt its victory in her face--quite literally--that he was still very much alive (for the time being), and not the least bit afraid.
When I was still married, my wife caught me doing much the same as the woman in this tale.
"What 'cah doin', hon?" she asked.
"Swatting flies,", I replied.
"Oh? Did you get any?" she inquired, smiling.
Yeah, two males and three females," I answered.
"Now just how on earth would you know what sex they are?" she responded incredulously.
Calmly, and without cracking so much as a grin, I returned:
"Because two were on a beer can, and three were on your cell phone."
Great story, Steve. Thanks for the much needed laugh!
~Dean
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
-
You horrible man! I've just been trying to swipe that damn thing off my screen! Far too lifelike for my liking.
Thanks for the great review.
Steve
-
Hahaha, I know, isn't it a hoot, LOL?
You are more than welcome, Steve. it's a very funny story.
~Dean :)
-
Hahaha, I know, isn't it a hoot, LOL?
You are more than welcome, Steve. it's a very funny story.
~Dean :)
Comment from LIJ Red
Ah. A post about other than US politics. Excellent on that account alone. Also quite humorous to one who had a wife who hated flies, and was terrorized by the flying stinging things we have so many of. Seldom to be seen in warm weather without a fly swatter.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
|
Ah. A post about other than US politics. Excellent on that account alone. Also quite humorous to one who had a wife who hated flies, and was terrorized by the flying stinging things we have so many of. Seldom to be seen in warm weather without a fly swatter.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
-
Politics is too depressing at the moment!
Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from janalma
Good one. Made me chuckle. I think, tho, that your sympathy for the dear lady is rather shallow or you would have swatted the one on her nose while she lay helpless and unaware of the indignity being done to her person by the smart-aleck fly. Lol. Enjoyed this well written treatise on the fly population where you live.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
|
Good one. Made me chuckle. I think, tho, that your sympathy for the dear lady is rather shallow or you would have swatted the one on her nose while she lay helpless and unaware of the indignity being done to her person by the smart-aleck fly. Lol. Enjoyed this well written treatise on the fly population where you live.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
-
Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Sasha
This is hysterical and got me laughing out loud from beginning to end. Great job with this and your descriptions are outstanding and beyond superb. I really got a kick of this. I hate flies too and have given up even trying to kill one with anything but Raid. Keep up the great work and please, post more of these gems.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
|
This is hysterical and got me laughing out loud from beginning to end. Great job with this and your descriptions are outstanding and beyond superb. I really got a kick of this. I hate flies too and have given up even trying to kill one with anything but Raid. Keep up the great work and please, post more of these gems.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
-
Thanks, Sasha.
Sometimes I think I could find a wee niche as a writer of humour... and then I wake up and realise how damn difficult it is!
Steve
Comment from c_lucas
amminition/ammunition???. There is no way that today's flying pest will be eradicated by chemical means. They inhale their morning fix and keep on flying. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
|
amminition/ammunition???. There is no way that today's flying pest will be eradicated by chemical means. They inhale their morning fix and keep on flying. This is very well written.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
-
Thanks, Charlie. Typo fixed. It's a terrifying thought that insects may become immune to every poison we throw at them.
Steve
-
It's a scientific fact the old DeCon formula no longer works. You're welcome, Steve. Charlie
Comment from Cumbrianlass
HAHA! Excellent. Hilarious look at SWMBO and her aversion to flies. They are, for sure, filthy annoying things. We have window screens where I live in Ontario - primarily because we have mozzies all summer and little tiny things aptly named 'black flies' that appear for about three weeks at the end of spring and will literally take a chunk out of you. So, for the most part, our house remains free of buzzy things. Sometimes though, at night, I'll switch off the light, settle against my pillow, and hear a high pitched 'zzzzz' against my ear. Yes, and try to find the little bugger! As soon as you switch the light on, they vanish!
My mother-in-law in (rural) France still uses those sticky curly things that hang from the light. They sure do catch a lot of flies, and, as you mention, don't stop you from sitting in the same room. LOL!
I love your essays. This one was a treat and made me both cringe and smile.
Av
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
|
HAHA! Excellent. Hilarious look at SWMBO and her aversion to flies. They are, for sure, filthy annoying things. We have window screens where I live in Ontario - primarily because we have mozzies all summer and little tiny things aptly named 'black flies' that appear for about three weeks at the end of spring and will literally take a chunk out of you. So, for the most part, our house remains free of buzzy things. Sometimes though, at night, I'll switch off the light, settle against my pillow, and hear a high pitched 'zzzzz' against my ear. Yes, and try to find the little bugger! As soon as you switch the light on, they vanish!
My mother-in-law in (rural) France still uses those sticky curly things that hang from the light. They sure do catch a lot of flies, and, as you mention, don't stop you from sitting in the same room. LOL!
I love your essays. This one was a treat and made me both cringe and smile.
Av
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
-
Av, thanks so much for the great review.
We tried sticky/curly things last summer. They did catch a lot of flies, but they look so damn ugly hanging there!
Steve
