Lonely Room
The thoughts of some-one left behind20 total reviews
Comment from raineywriter
Oh, that's so sad, but the poem is so moving. When reading makes me cry, I can confidently assert that the author has exceptional talent and the piece is worthy of praise. Brilliant!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
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Oh, that's so sad, but the poem is so moving. When reading makes me cry, I can confidently assert that the author has exceptional talent and the piece is worthy of praise. Brilliant!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
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Dear Raineywriter, Thank you for your review and the five stars. This poem was written in the memory of a family I heard of who ,when learning of their son's death on the battlefield, closed his door and never entered that room again except on the anniversary of his death and his birthday. It was many years ago , but the sadness is still relevant today. cheers Cass
Comment from l.raven
HI sweet girl, this is soooo very sad...I can't even imagine how I would feel...to lose a child in war...very well written...and the picture says it all...Luff Linda xxoo love
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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HI sweet girl, this is soooo very sad...I can't even imagine how I would feel...to lose a child in war...very well written...and the picture says it all...Luff Linda xxoo love
Comment Written 07-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Hello Sweetiepie, I love your notes, they are so warm and chummy. This poem has received a most heartening response from readers, I am quite taken aback because the piece is only eight lines long. It has struck a chord with many which is wonderful
.( though humbling) Lovely to hear from you dear .Take care ,cheers Cass
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you are always so welcome Cass...so glad so many loved it...love ya Linda xxoo
Comment from Cinda
It brings it all home to us of how the young and brave fight our wars for us and leave the family behind with emptiness and a missing part of their lives is now gone...Beautifully written and an amazing true story...Oh, how sad and yet so real...Thank you, for sharing this heartfelt poem with us...The story needs to be told...Cinda
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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It brings it all home to us of how the young and brave fight our wars for us and leave the family behind with emptiness and a missing part of their lives is now gone...Beautifully written and an amazing true story...Oh, how sad and yet so real...Thank you, for sharing this heartfelt poem with us...The story needs to be told...Cinda
Comment Written 06-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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Dear Cinda, thank you for your review and the five stars. Yes, the sadness and lostness of this story is so heartfelt and tragic. I value your comments and appreciate your stoping by to read. Thanks again cheers Cass
Comment from rama devi
Powerful and poignant. Well penned too, with fine flow and great rhyme choices...and apt imagery too.
Superbly original and eloquent lines:
Where spiders weave their octave loom
And errant sunbeams pierce the gloom.
Excellent portrait of the room here:
The coat, the shoes, the favourite chair
The brush still tangled with his hair
The quilt mildewed , the rug threadbare
Nothing touched since he left them there.
(Typo--unwanted space before comma in line three)
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Slumbered there our dear boy's head.
This line is slightly forced due to reverse syntax (in my opinion) but others will find it poetic...just my two cents.
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"I hear the call to arms(,)" he said.
Potent closing note...
Now he sleeps in a different bed
His battle jacket stained with red.
So sad and tragic.
Apt title choice for this work...and fine presentation.
A very strong entry for the contest--good luck!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Powerful and poignant. Well penned too, with fine flow and great rhyme choices...and apt imagery too.
Superbly original and eloquent lines:
Where spiders weave their octave loom
And errant sunbeams pierce the gloom.
Excellent portrait of the room here:
The coat, the shoes, the favourite chair
The brush still tangled with his hair
The quilt mildewed , the rug threadbare
Nothing touched since he left them there.
(Typo--unwanted space before comma in line three)
*
Slumbered there our dear boy's head.
This line is slightly forced due to reverse syntax (in my opinion) but others will find it poetic...just my two cents.
*
"I hear the call to arms(,)" he said.
Potent closing note...
Now he sleeps in a different bed
His battle jacket stained with red.
So sad and tragic.
Apt title choice for this work...and fine presentation.
A very strong entry for the contest--good luck!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Dear Friend thank you for your review and the five stars. thank you also most kindly for your notes on my errant punctuation. I will address these forthwith. I do tend to let them slip at times so a nudge in the right direction is much appreciated.
thank also for your best wishes for the contest. cheers Cass
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Thanks for your gracious response. Warmest Smiles, rd
Comment from Leineco
Wow! So poignant and solemn in its imagery and emotion.
This is a true tribute to a both the soldier and the family who paid the ultimate price for being a patriot.
Very powerful write.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Wow! So poignant and solemn in its imagery and emotion.
This is a true tribute to a both the soldier and the family who paid the ultimate price for being a patriot.
Very powerful write.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Dear Friend, thank you for your review and the SIX stars. Your comment is so true in that it isn't only the soldier who pays the price, it's the ones who are left behind who also pay in sorrow and grief. Cheers Cass
Comment from frogbook
This was very impressive. So smooth and easily read. Quite poignant and so sad. I couldn't even pick a stanza that was best because it was also beautifully written. A superb tribute and you should show to this family. This should definitely be a strong contender in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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This was very impressive. So smooth and easily read. Quite poignant and so sad. I couldn't even pick a stanza that was best because it was also beautifully written. A superb tribute and you should show to this family. This should definitely be a strong contender in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Dear Friend, thank you for your review and the SIX stars. The family concerned have all gone the way of all flesh, only a nephew remains and he is an old man now. The soldier son has his name on a memorial in the country town where they lived and I am told there was a Scholarship created in his memory at one of the big colleges somewhere in Adelaide South Australia where I live. Thanks for your good wishes for the contest. cheers Cass
Comment from Irish Goat
Very nice tribute to a fallen soldier. Solid construction and AAAA rhyme. Good flow and a lyrical quality. Short, but effective in its visualization and emotion elicitation. Nice job.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Very nice tribute to a fallen soldier. Solid construction and AAAA rhyme. Good flow and a lyrical quality. Short, but effective in its visualization and emotion elicitation. Nice job.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Dear Friend, thank you for your review and the five stars. Your comments are generous and much appreciated . Re your Nom-de- Plume. I thought it best to address you as I have done, instead of shortening it to one of the words in your signature. Irish would probably have passed muster, but I draw the line at addressing a completes stranger as "Goat" I reserve that for family and close friends. (just in passing) My pet name for my younger son was "Rat" and his for me was Mother Rat. his girlfriend was Lady Rat .EtcEtcEtc.cheers Cass
Comment from ravenblack
Every detail speaks of an abandoned room left to dust and time. I am really struck by "octave loom"- this room the spiders' octet, their eight legs weaving a poem of dust. I have to ask where your photo is from. I swear I have seen that monument at a cemetery in Westchester, Il. Excellent poem and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Every detail speaks of an abandoned room left to dust and time. I am really struck by "octave loom"- this room the spiders' octet, their eight legs weaving a poem of dust. I have to ask where your photo is from. I swear I have seen that monument at a cemetery in Westchester, Il. Excellent poem and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Dear Friend, thank you for your review and the five stars. the artwork is from the Fanstory selection, so if you really want to know, look it up and ask the photographer. It seemed to me to show the sadness and despair of the mourning parents and family. thanks for your good wishes for the contest cheers Cass
Comment from Louise Michelle
This is very poignant. You've expressed such realism in your poem, particularly pointing out that his brush still has his hair... wow, that is a very powerful line. Well done. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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This is very poignant. You've expressed such realism in your poem, particularly pointing out that his brush still has his hair... wow, that is a very powerful line. Well done. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Dear Louise, Thank you for your review and the five stars. It was an emotional experience for me to write this, as I knew that it did actually happen ,I didn't know the family personally although I knew of them. they were very well thought of and highly regarded. thanks again cheers Cass
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a sad and very poignant poem from the author here.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a sad and very poignant poem from the author here.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Dear Tomes, thank you for your review and the five stars. this piece has its basis in fact which does give it more impact. thanks again cheers Cass
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My pleasure.
