SPIRIT BASKET
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Scene 3: Governor's Daughter"270 Years of an Alaska Family
6 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
I am not used to reading scripts, but you did great job with this and it was easy to follow. Great descriptions and dialogue. Fascinating story too. I enjoyed this very much and look forward to the next post.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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I am not used to reading scripts, but you did great job with this and it was easy to follow. Great descriptions and dialogue. Fascinating story too. I enjoyed this very much and look forward to the next post.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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You are very encouraging, Sasha. Thanks for reading! Marie
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Marie. This is a wonderful and interesting story. I question whether you consider this a novel or a play because it is written like a script not a book. No matter it is very good writing. Such good images painted throughout:
"You have added a lid and red silk threads to our ancestors' basket.
(rubs a finger over the red decorations)
Shapes are like the teeth of a killer whale."
And: "Irina slips outside onto porch as the summer sky begins to darken. She settles on a bench, gazing at light fading on the ocean. Richard appears, a silhouette in light from the open door."
The dialogue is superb also.
Suggestions: I think you need what is called a "hook" at the closing of this chapter and always. something to prompt the reader into wanting to continue with the read.
Bravo, Marie! Bob
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Hi, Marie. This is a wonderful and interesting story. I question whether you consider this a novel or a play because it is written like a script not a book. No matter it is very good writing. Such good images painted throughout:
"You have added a lid and red silk threads to our ancestors' basket.
(rubs a finger over the red decorations)
Shapes are like the teeth of a killer whale."
And: "Irina slips outside onto porch as the summer sky begins to darken. She settles on a bench, gazing at light fading on the ocean. Richard appears, a silhouette in light from the open door."
The dialogue is superb also.
Suggestions: I think you need what is called a "hook" at the closing of this chapter and always. something to prompt the reader into wanting to continue with the read.
Bravo, Marie! Bob
Comment Written 23-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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My manuscript is written in a screenwriter program with speaker names and dialogue centered. Posting on Fanstory that format is ignored. There may be a way to solve that. Thanks for your comments, Bob. Very helpful. Marie
Comment from Shirley McLain
Once again you did a great job. I do admit I find these harder to read. I guess it's they don't flow as smoothly as a story. I didn't find any problems at all with your writing. Shirley
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Once again you did a great job. I do admit I find these harder to read. I guess it's they don't flow as smoothly as a story. I didn't find any problems at all with your writing. Shirley
Comment Written 23-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Thanks for taking the time to read this, Shirley. It's good to hear from you. Marie
Comment from benoenose
A family affair with royal context and adventurous too. However the plots and characters are set in perfect, any reader with all age groups can read that story. With more and more attractive scenes the story moves on perfectly.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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A family affair with royal context and adventurous too. However the plots and characters are set in perfect, any reader with all age groups can read that story. With more and more attractive scenes the story moves on perfectly.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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I certainly do appreciate your comments. Thanks for giving it your time and interest.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Great job. Scripts are tough because you really have to let the dialogue do the talking. And you do so here. I found this easy to follow. The dialogue is real - and the characters come across as real. Very enjoyable.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Great job. Scripts are tough because you really have to let the dialogue do the talking. And you do so here. I found this easy to follow. The dialogue is real - and the characters come across as real. Very enjoyable.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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I appreciate the time you gave to reading. Thanks for your comments. Marie
Comment from country ranch writer
GOING AWAY ANN LEAVES IRINA AND WILL MISS HER TERRIBLY SO SHE HAS BEEN INVITED TO BE RICHARDS FRIEND WAS AS IF THEY HAD BECOME ONE
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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GOING AWAY ANN LEAVES IRINA AND WILL MISS HER TERRIBLY SO SHE HAS BEEN INVITED TO BE RICHARDS FRIEND WAS AS IF THEY HAD BECOME ONE
Comment Written 22-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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I appreciate your comment.
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