That Step
Sonnet - Faith Contest Entry74 total reviews
Comment from mauidux1963
congrats on second place.......but in all honesty.....I feel you were robbed. No disrespect to the crowned victor......however ( in my humble opinion ) A sonnet is MUCH harder to tackle ( and tackle WELL I might add ) than free verse. With free verse Ive always felt I could attatch random rubber word stamps to the bottom of cats paws.....dip those letter paws in ink.....and release a mouse onto a giant sheet of paper.....the resulting "FREE VERSE POEM" created by those cats chasing that mouse.....could win me a pulitzer......
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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congrats on second place.......but in all honesty.....I feel you were robbed. No disrespect to the crowned victor......however ( in my humble opinion ) A sonnet is MUCH harder to tackle ( and tackle WELL I might add ) than free verse. With free verse Ive always felt I could attatch random rubber word stamps to the bottom of cats paws.....dip those letter paws in ink.....and release a mouse onto a giant sheet of paper.....the resulting "FREE VERSE POEM" created by those cats chasing that mouse.....could win me a pulitzer......
Comment Written 11-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Thanks for the enthusiastic review - I am feeling a little robbed, but only because I've had a string of second placings and this is two in a row losing to the same author. However, I don't mind losing to her in that she always produces top quality work and this is no exception.
I think if you look at her piece again, you will see it is not FREE verse, but BLANK verse - an entirely different animal.
nevertheless, I appreciate your comments about the sonnet - they are tough and I felt I'd done a pretty good job on this one - maybe next time!
Steve
Comment from MissMerri
I read this when you first posted it, and loved everything about it, but felt I had to wait until I had more stars to give because it simply would not do to give this anything less than six stars. I love the metaphors you used and think you've handled the idea of faith as a taut rope to be navigated with courage and care so amazingly well. The final couplet of your sonnet is the perfect ending. A marvelous poem and congratulations on winning second in the Faith Contest. This is a poem to be read again and again.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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I read this when you first posted it, and loved everything about it, but felt I had to wait until I had more stars to give because it simply would not do to give this anything less than six stars. I love the metaphors you used and think you've handled the idea of faith as a taut rope to be navigated with courage and care so amazingly well. The final couplet of your sonnet is the perfect ending. A marvelous poem and congratulations on winning second in the Faith Contest. This is a poem to be read again and again.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Adonna, thanks so much for the wonderful review and the six stars - not that I'm talking to you right now - twice in a row you've filched my $100 from under my nose AND I see a damn fine triolet lined up for the next contest. And is that a Story in a Poem entry I see in your portfolio as well? Haven't read that yet. Don't you know how leaving things to the last minute sharpens the mind?!
Speaking of which, I have just shoved a triolet together in the last few minutes - the one I had been working on refused to co-operate...
Steve
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LOL... you really make me laugh, Steve. You have nothing to worry about from my triolet or my story-poem, I'm quite sure. I will be happy to share the current prize money with you, but then, I'd be setting a precedent for any future wins, and that could get messy. I will just pray that your next four poems win. Okay? Thanks for the laughter. MM
Comment from Joy Graham
Six stars from this Canadian reviewer! I feel the pressures that drag us down and the hope that our faith provides us to get through the tough moments of our journey. You reached me in a fresh way on a subject that can be the same old tiresome thing. My faith is definitely strengthened by your poem :)
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Six stars from this Canadian reviewer! I feel the pressures that drag us down and the hope that our faith provides us to get through the tough moments of our journey. You reached me in a fresh way on a subject that can be the same old tiresome thing. My faith is definitely strengthened by your poem :)
Comment Written 10-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Joy!
The best reviews are those where the reader says they have been touched by the poem...
Steve
Comment from Pancho Kid
No 'religious' faith dwells in this reader, but some faith in the power of the human spirit...which is how I choose to interpret this...thanks for asking! It reads very well, although the omission of one or two words might improve rhythm and cadence...'below' for example isn't paying its way for me. 'Where serpents dance and I their game' scans a little better? The language is strong and evocative throughout. I looked for an alternative to 'manufactured'....again as a slave to rhythm...but none were satisfactory. 'Weave' was the best I could come up with, or 'factor'.
Anyway, I enjoyed your poem, so thanks for that.
Pancho Kid
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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No 'religious' faith dwells in this reader, but some faith in the power of the human spirit...which is how I choose to interpret this...thanks for asking! It reads very well, although the omission of one or two words might improve rhythm and cadence...'below' for example isn't paying its way for me. 'Where serpents dance and I their game' scans a little better? The language is strong and evocative throughout. I looked for an alternative to 'manufactured'....again as a slave to rhythm...but none were satisfactory. 'Weave' was the best I could come up with, or 'factor'.
Anyway, I enjoyed your poem, so thanks for that.
Pancho Kid
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thank you, PK
As a sonnet, the syllable count is important and your suggested changes wouldn't work, but thanks for the suggestions anyway.
Steve
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I see......You're welcome anyway.
Pancho Kid
Comment from Louise Michelle
You did a good job capturing how important that first step in faith is, especially since it can be the most difficult.
I think the entire piece is well written, but the third stanza is my favorite. I think it ties in the message as well as the illustration. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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You did a good job capturing how important that first step in faith is, especially since it can be the most difficult.
I think the entire piece is well written, but the third stanza is my favorite. I think it ties in the message as well as the illustration. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Lou, thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Steve, welcome back mate. This is a fantastic little poem on faith and a great contest entry as well. I like the first title you were going to call it LOL, that's funny. Once again you have done well, cheers Fez
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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G'day Steve, welcome back mate. This is a fantastic little poem on faith and a great contest entry as well. I like the first title you were going to call it LOL, that's funny. Once again you have done well, cheers Fez
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Fez.
keep well.
Steve
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is written in very good sonnet form and is a very good entry for the faith poem contest - good luck to you in it.
teresa
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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This is written in very good sonnet form and is a very good entry for the faith poem contest - good luck to you in it.
teresa
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Steve,
I really enjoyed this poem and as you point out it can be interpreted in many ways. Great imagery and word choices. I especially liked the last two lines of the third verse.
Very nicely penned, and good luck.
GMG
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Hi Steve,
I really enjoyed this poem and as you point out it can be interpreted in many ways. Great imagery and word choices. I especially liked the last two lines of the third verse.
Very nicely penned, and good luck.
GMG
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from crzypnter
Hi Steve,
Sometimes we all need to take a leap of faith. Love true love does not come around to often and when it does you need to go for it. Great sonnet with vivid imagery. Nicely done. Thanks for sharing
God bless
August
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Hi Steve,
Sometimes we all need to take a leap of faith. Love true love does not come around to often and when it does you need to go for it. Great sonnet with vivid imagery. Nicely done. Thanks for sharing
God bless
August
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thanks for the very kind words and the gift of six stars.
Steve
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello kiwisteveh, your Sonnet is thought-provoking and beautifully stated, especially:
What does it take to make that step, a stride
so bold that courage seems too weak a name,
(Soulful)
Wonderful artwork choice and silky rhyming.
As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Hello kiwisteveh, your Sonnet is thought-provoking and beautifully stated, especially:
What does it take to make that step, a stride
so bold that courage seems too weak a name,
(Soulful)
Wonderful artwork choice and silky rhyming.
As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thanks for the kind words and good luck wishes.
Steve
