Egg-Breath
Eavesdropping on a couple of guys you don't want to know.32 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Funny story all centered on two idiots discussing mass murder. Several years ago Charles Manson set his cell mate on fire over a Bible argument. Can you imagine that theological debate?
Funny story all centered on two idiots discussing mass murder. Several years ago Charles Manson set his cell mate on fire over a Bible argument. Can you imagine that theological debate?
Comment Written 04-Oct-2016
Comment from Cosmic2011
Wow, didn't see that coming...Nice ending! I also liked the flow of the story and the dark sinister undertones implied in the dialogue. This was a very well written story! Kudos!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
Wow, didn't see that coming...Nice ending! I also liked the flow of the story and the dark sinister undertones implied in the dialogue. This was a very well written story! Kudos!
Comment Written 15-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Cosmic. Glad you were surprised, and I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Craigitar
Great writtin', HW! I thoroughly enjoyed this little piece and was drawn right in to the two characters. I've known a few people who couldn't make the jump to metaphors or analogies, but the ones I find the most interesting are those poor souls without a sense of humor--it's like talking to an empty sack. As for Pete and his over active sense of smell, I live with one of those. Great job as always.
Craig
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
Great writtin', HW! I thoroughly enjoyed this little piece and was drawn right in to the two characters. I've known a few people who couldn't make the jump to metaphors or analogies, but the ones I find the most interesting are those poor souls without a sense of humor--it's like talking to an empty sack. As for Pete and his over active sense of smell, I live with one of those. Great job as always.
Craig
Comment Written 14-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Craig. Some people's minds are just to literal. They miss out on a lot. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from ravenblack
Eggs, the runny yolk like vitreous fluid, the egg fragile like a life. Setting this in an egg diner, metaphoric life left running on a mass scale, sulphurous stench- unique, original setting that makes perfect sense. Great twist at the end.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
Eggs, the runny yolk like vitreous fluid, the egg fragile like a life. Setting this in an egg diner, metaphoric life left running on a mass scale, sulphurous stench- unique, original setting that makes perfect sense. Great twist at the end.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thank you, ravenblack. I like to set my stories in locations like diners. Everybody can visual a diner, so I can keep descriptions to a minimum. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Sasha
I doubt I will ever eat eggs sunny side up again. That said, this has some dynamite dialogue and queezy (not sure how you spell that) imagery. I swear I could smell the eggs rise up off the page. Great work with this one.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
I doubt I will ever eat eggs sunny side up again. That said, this has some dynamite dialogue and queezy (not sure how you spell that) imagery. I swear I could smell the eggs rise up off the page. Great work with this one.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2014
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Thanks again, Sasha. So Holy Mole won't be selling you any eggs for a while huh? My favorite Mexican breakfast is Huevos con Chirico. Love it. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from mfowler
Hell, Lee. That egg smell bothered me all the way through this encounter. He deserved a bullet for that. The two killers are darkly amusing with their crazy theories and 'degrees of action' philosophies. Their killing of the jamoke is slick and well related. It's a well written story in film noir style with a touch of horror thrown in. Good one.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
Hell, Lee. That egg smell bothered me all the way through this encounter. He deserved a bullet for that. The two killers are darkly amusing with their crazy theories and 'degrees of action' philosophies. Their killing of the jamoke is slick and well related. It's a well written story in film noir style with a touch of horror thrown in. Good one.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Mark. Yes, I'm sorry about the disgusting aspects of this story. My attempt at a 'they walk among us' story. Glad you enjoyed--queasily. Peace, Lee
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The egg-breath made it. You just made it smell off the page. Good effect, what?
Comment from boxergirl
Even though I have a weak stomach, especially when it comes to runny eggs, but I still enjoyed this story. I sm pretty sure Jocko got on Pete's last nerve. Both seemed pretty scary dudes.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
Even though I have a weak stomach, especially when it comes to runny eggs, but I still enjoyed this story. I sm pretty sure Jocko got on Pete's last nerve. Both seemed pretty scary dudes.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Sorry about the queasiness, boxergirl. And I appreciate you hanging in. Thanks. Peace, Lee
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for the pleasure of another fun story. I've been a breakfast guy might near all of my life, but I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to eat another egg. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
Thanks for the pleasure of another fun story. I've been a breakfast guy might near all of my life, but I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to eat another egg. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 12-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Thanks, Ric. I love diners, but I think I'll keep may distance for a bit. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Benjohnsonjr
I thoroughly enjoyed this read although I must admit I'm partial to eggs sunny side up. Loved the twist at the end. You are a wordsmith of note. Your descriptions are amazing and your command of the language had me awestruck. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
I thoroughly enjoyed this read although I must admit I'm partial to eggs sunny side up. Loved the twist at the end. You are a wordsmith of note. Your descriptions are amazing and your command of the language had me awestruck. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, Benjohnsonjr. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Is there any limit to your imagination, Lee? A really stomach churning story of EGGY-BREATH!!!! And more than that, you pulled it off too! I squirmed at the bit where he opened his mouth before swallowing all his runny yellow eggy stuff. That is one of my pet hates, a person who eats with their mouth open! Really makes me feel ill. So, my friend, it might not be up to the, 'Chainsaw Massacre' but it came close! :) xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
Is there any limit to your imagination, Lee? A really stomach churning story of EGGY-BREATH!!!! And more than that, you pulled it off too! I squirmed at the bit where he opened his mouth before swallowing all his runny yellow eggy stuff. That is one of my pet hates, a person who eats with their mouth open! Really makes me feel ill. So, my friend, it might not be up to the, 'Chainsaw Massacre' but it came close! :) xsx Sandra
Comment Written 12-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Sandra. Chewing with your mouth open earned a stout cuff in my household. I think I've never recovered. I like eggs, but they're pretty disgusting on a number of levels. And people serve deviled eggs at parties! Are the bonkers?
I think Egg-Breath ranks right up there with vampires and werewolves. Thanks again, girl. Peace, Lee