The Virus
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Dawning"Changing the world's attitudes
23 total reviews
Comment from Winslow
Dear Cogitator,
This is quite pertinent to what is happening in Africa today. I feel what this needs, however, is more action and conflict. If half the population was wiped out I don't think humans would come together, bond, and respect Mother Earth. It also cries out for an introduction. Where did the virus come from? How was it spread? This is a utopian write that would never, ever happen. I initially gave this a four but am changing it to s five because I can't give someone a four who is so optimistic and positive about human nature. This is pure fantasy and not even close to reality, however.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Dear Cogitator,
This is quite pertinent to what is happening in Africa today. I feel what this needs, however, is more action and conflict. If half the population was wiped out I don't think humans would come together, bond, and respect Mother Earth. It also cries out for an introduction. Where did the virus come from? How was it spread? This is a utopian write that would never, ever happen. I initially gave this a four but am changing it to s five because I can't give someone a four who is so optimistic and positive about human nature. This is pure fantasy and not even close to reality, however.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 03-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2014
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Thanks for the valuable input...John
Comment from James Dooney
Solid piece of work you have given us here ! I like the flow of us. Its nice and strong and I can see how things develop as they go along. well done here.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Solid piece of work you have given us here ! I like the flow of us. Its nice and strong and I can see how things develop as they go along. well done here.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thanks for the kind words...John
Comment from sibhus
there may (be) some people
An unteresting look at the world after the next panepidimic, which the CDC believes could happen anytime now. I liked the positive sort of can-do atuide that your characters have, it so different from the typical style of apocholytic writing where evryone forms small groups and attempt to eat each other, or they spend the book fighting off zombies. A good chapter that was well written and the dialogue and descriptions well good.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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there may (be) some people
An unteresting look at the world after the next panepidimic, which the CDC believes could happen anytime now. I liked the positive sort of can-do atuide that your characters have, it so different from the typical style of apocholytic writing where evryone forms small groups and attempt to eat each other, or they spend the book fighting off zombies. A good chapter that was well written and the dialogue and descriptions well good.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much. John
Comment from dmt1967
This is a nice chapter of a book and I must read the next one. Very well written. I liked the descriptive way you told the story. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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This is a nice chapter of a book and I must read the next one. Very well written. I liked the descriptive way you told the story. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you...John
Comment from emrpoems
very disconcerting in the beginning with everyone losing their sight and all the calamity that comes with it. However, the twist that you give later is encouraging. the people will regain their sight.
Wel written
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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very disconcerting in the beginning with everyone losing their sight and all the calamity that comes with it. However, the twist that you give later is encouraging. the people will regain their sight.
Wel written
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Thank you. I hope you follow...John
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I will Be following
Comment from Hareem.S
This is a very interesting chapter. I like the original and creative theme of it. It is penned down in a vivid manner and kept me hooked till the end. Keep up the good work
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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This is a very interesting chapter. I like the original and creative theme of it. It is penned down in a vivid manner and kept me hooked till the end. Keep up the good work
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Thanks for the kind words...John
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A compelling and thought-provoking write as always. It is always good to see such info here on Fanstory. In my opinion (and Maybe I just get it) there is far too much Fantasy fiction. After all, truth is more intertesting than fiction. Thanks for sharing this, my friend~DEbbie
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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A compelling and thought-provoking write as always. It is always good to see such info here on Fanstory. In my opinion (and Maybe I just get it) there is far too much Fantasy fiction. After all, truth is more intertesting than fiction. Thanks for sharing this, my friend~DEbbie
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Thank you, Deb. What I'm doing is changing my essays into a narrative. I appreciate you...John
Comment from Nosha17
I liked the theme of the oneness with Nature, if only it were like that in reality, I can not get enough of it myself. I always write about Nature and her creatures in my poetry. I saw only one little thing to change, Para 7 should read may be.......... Well written story, enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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I liked the theme of the oneness with Nature, if only it were like that in reality, I can not get enough of it myself. I always write about Nature and her creatures in my poetry. I saw only one little thing to change, Para 7 should read may be.......... Well written story, enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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All future comes from imagining it first. This is leading to John Lennon's "Imagine." Thanks for your review and the tip...John
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, cogitator, I love how everyone pulled together to work as one and the sight they lost made them all compassionate for each other. the leadership is coming together. I love the scene with the bees. I don't normally gives sixes for book chapters, but I liked the morals this one taught.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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this is an excellent write, cogitator, I love how everyone pulled together to work as one and the sight they lost made them all compassionate for each other. the leadership is coming together. I love the scene with the bees. I don't normally gives sixes for book chapters, but I liked the morals this one taught.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much for the great review and the kind words...John
Comment from Neonewman
OK! You have my complete attention with this piece, I love the fact that the virus was not permanent and people will see each other in a different light. I am left waiting for the next chapter. God bless!
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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OK! You have my complete attention with this piece, I love the fact that the virus was not permanent and people will see each other in a different light. I am left waiting for the next chapter. God bless!
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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I'm working on it right now. Thanks for the support and kind words...John
