The Night the Lights Went Out
story poem in rhyming couplets131 total reviews
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, :)
I scrolled back up, but there is no photo. I was disappointed because I wanted to see it's eerieness. :P
My favorite stanza:
On paths where we stumbled, the others and I,
we prayed that the forces of dark pass us by,
but pleas didn't matter and prayers didn't count
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Hello, :)
I scrolled back up, but there is no photo. I was disappointed because I wanted to see it's eerieness. :P
My favorite stanza:
On paths where we stumbled, the others and I,
we prayed that the forces of dark pass us by,
but pleas didn't matter and prayers didn't count
Comment Written 28-Jul-2017
Comment from JPilcher
Beautifully written - not shocked. I think my favorite lines would have to be "but pleas didn't matter and prayers didn't count, the night all the lights in the sky sputtered out." Your rhythm is always right on the head. I literally find myself reading them aloud and you don't miss a beat. Love to read your stuff!!! <3 Jill P.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Beautifully written - not shocked. I think my favorite lines would have to be "but pleas didn't matter and prayers didn't count, the night all the lights in the sky sputtered out." Your rhythm is always right on the head. I literally find myself reading them aloud and you don't miss a beat. Love to read your stuff!!! <3 Jill P.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Jill, thank you so much for reviewing a post no longer promoted, and thank you for the generous rating :-) Brooke
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I'm not about reviewing things that are only promoted... I'm about finding what I like, and reading a lot of it. ;)
Comment from w.j.debi
This is a very eerie piece. You are really getting into the Halloween spirit this year. Excellent alliteration and consonance to add to the spooky mood and make the skin crawl. Love the imagery of hiding in the bushes and being both a spectator and participant on the darkest of nights.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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This is a very eerie piece. You are really getting into the Halloween spirit this year. Excellent alliteration and consonance to add to the spooky mood and make the skin crawl. Love the imagery of hiding in the bushes and being both a spectator and participant on the darkest of nights.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2014
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Thank you, debi, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hi Brooke,
Wow! This one read like a science fiction movie. I cringed as each scene unfolded and was engaged by the vivid imagery of events.
You did a great job portraying a time that none would wish to live through.
This was an enjoyable read...something a little different from your side of the fence, lol. It was a pleasure!
Best wishes, Bill
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Hi Brooke,
Wow! This one read like a science fiction movie. I cringed as each scene unfolded and was engaged by the vivid imagery of events.
You did a great job portraying a time that none would wish to live through.
This was an enjoyable read...something a little different from your side of the fence, lol. It was a pleasure!
Best wishes, Bill
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Bill, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is so unlike your normal posts. Well done quatrains with
a very grim story. It read very smooth Brooke. It reminds me of reading about a fire in a nightclub years ago where more people were killed in the panic and the stampede then were killed by the fire. This would be a nightmare in reality.
xx Nancy
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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This is so unlike your normal posts. Well done quatrains with
a very grim story. It read very smooth Brooke. It reminds me of reading about a fire in a nightclub years ago where more people were killed in the panic and the stampede then were killed by the fire. This would be a nightmare in reality.
xx Nancy
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Nancy, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from Andrewajgblue
This was an amazing poem I really loved your rhythm and rhyming, it was so perfect, I'm in awe sometimes of the poems you produce, a massive well done:) worthy of a ten,
Andrew
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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This was an amazing poem I really loved your rhythm and rhyming, it was so perfect, I'm in awe sometimes of the poems you produce, a massive well done:) worthy of a ten,
Andrew
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, Andrew, for your generous and encouraging review :-) Brooke
Comment from linsbm
No one will ever know the mystery behind when one has experienced a terrible incident and yet of all people was spared from any harm. This survivor, I guess should stand as a witness to tell the narrative of the story, and the truth of that person's survival.
This is a compelling read of a poem with an amazing flow of write in narrative, one can fully digest every word with full attention, ride on in that journey to the end of the story. What a wonderful read. Thanks for sharing.} Lin
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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No one will ever know the mystery behind when one has experienced a terrible incident and yet of all people was spared from any harm. This survivor, I guess should stand as a witness to tell the narrative of the story, and the truth of that person's survival.
This is a compelling read of a poem with an amazing flow of write in narrative, one can fully digest every word with full attention, ride on in that journey to the end of the story. What a wonderful read. Thanks for sharing.} Lin
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Lin, thank you so much for your generous and insightful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Gargantuan2
Very nice. I like the tempo in this piece, it gives it the feel of eeriness the poem deserves. Thanks once again for a Halloween treat :)
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Very nice. I like the tempo in this piece, it gives it the feel of eeriness the poem deserves. Thanks once again for a Halloween treat :)
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Gargantuan, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from ElegantButler
Oh, there you are! I thought the Records seemed to be one short. Don't worry, though, the transportation center has you down for chariot, not handbasket. LOL! Very well written.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Oh, there you are! I thought the Records seemed to be one short. Don't worry, though, the transportation center has you down for chariot, not handbasket. LOL! Very well written.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Elegant Butler, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from acerisestory
I don't know how I missed this one, Brooke! It is another perfect Halloween poem -- a dark, scary story with a bad ending :)
Your rhyming and alliteration are very well done.
"And when from the tangles of thicket I crept,
I found not one soul, as in silence I wept.
That night I was spared but have never learned why,
when death took its toll neath the darkening sky."
I liked it! Alana
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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I don't know how I missed this one, Brooke! It is another perfect Halloween poem -- a dark, scary story with a bad ending :)
Your rhyming and alliteration are very well done.
"And when from the tangles of thicket I crept,
I found not one soul, as in silence I wept.
That night I was spared but have never learned why,
when death took its toll neath the darkening sky."
I liked it! Alana
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, Alana :-) Brooke
