Senryu contest (Painful tears)
A lesson in time out.15 total reviews
Comment from Lulube
Yes painful tears to be disciplined. More of it for some I say. Love the chair that says "sit" on it. Good portrayal of human behavior in this senryu. Good luck in the contest
lulube
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Yes painful tears to be disciplined. More of it for some I say. Love the chair that says "sit" on it. Good portrayal of human behavior in this senryu. Good luck in the contest
lulube
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you Lulube for another excellent review from you. I always enjoy your insight and feedback.
Please don't forget to vote.
God Bless!
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welcome
lulube
Comment from emrpoems
Mischievous children
struggle learning from the chair
crying painful tears
Well executed senryu with perfect syllable count
A strong message in few words.
Well paired picture and poem.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Mischievous children
struggle learning from the chair
crying painful tears
Well executed senryu with perfect syllable count
A strong message in few words.
Well paired picture and poem.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Why thank you emrpoems for another excellent review. I always look forward to reading your feedback. God Bless!
Comment from fayesh
I think there is a lesson in your senryu, but I don't think you need to have the semi-colon (it's distracting). The accompanying photo complements your poem.
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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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I think there is a lesson in your senryu, but I don't think you need to have the semi-colon (it's distracting). The accompanying photo complements your poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Awesome thank you Fayesh. I struggle in this new area as to where if ever punctuations are necessary. They are my weakest areas. Your excellent rating has me smiling. Thank you again and God Bless!
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Neonewman,
That time out chair has seen lots of trouble and emotion that's for sure.
Good poem and presentation. Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Hi, Neonewman,
That time out chair has seen lots of trouble and emotion that's for sure.
Good poem and presentation. Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you Jax for another excellent review. God Bless!
Comment from Ookami Taki
The limitations of haiku and senryu put the pressure on the writer to conserve syllables but pack as much meaning into each one as possible. This piece says a lot more than the sum of its words. Excellent.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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The limitations of haiku and senryu put the pressure on the writer to conserve syllables but pack as much meaning into each one as possible. This piece says a lot more than the sum of its words. Excellent.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Once again from the bottom of my heart, Thank you. God Bless!
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Hi Ookami Taki, Please don't forget to vote today if you like. The voting booths are open. God Bless!
