Comment from Ridley Williams

Excellent

Hi Steve,
Personally, I thought it read like Poe. It had a nice cadence that was easy to read. I thought the strong imagery in the first quatrain was carried throughout the piece and I loved the dark setting you portrayed. My favorite was the third stanza, great simile in, "...night falls, like a curtain."
Looks like a strong entry...best of luck, Bill

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Bill, thanks for the warm review - managed to sneak a win...

Steve

Comment from sgalletti

Excellent

Hi Steve. Just getting around to reading these fabulous entries. I think your using all trochaic throughout work beautifully in this piece. As you might know, using trochaic meter is a real challenge for me because I think so naturally in iambic meter. But, you have executed it flawlessly and with great ease. I so appreciate Rose sponsoring these challenging contests and the consequent outstanding poems produced by excellent poets, such as your and you. Best of luck in the contest. Sue

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014

Thanks, Sue - I appreciate your thoughtful review.

I worked on this perhaps a little more than my usual pieces and by the end of it I was thinking in trochaics fairly easily! Plus I'd already half-completed a longer piece (before I discovered there was a sixteen line limit!)

Steve

Comment from nelliesellie

Excellent

I love the picture. I love the poem. I like the way it is formatted. Sailors had a myth of death waiting on shore. Angry waves would blow their boats against the shore. The gray man would collect the souls as bodies slammed against the shores. Great work.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014

The grey man was just a piece of random inspiration - I had no knowledge of the myth, although of course he is similar to other ominous figures...

Thanks ffor the warm review.

Steve

Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

All time best is right! I think this piece is strong enough to leave the other contenders in your dust. If you are the only one to use this form then so be it, this to me allows you to pull ahead of the herd. God Bless!

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

There are plenty of good poets in the competition - I will be happy to hold my on against them.

Steve

Comment from jackpeg

Excellent

This one would fit into any dark and ominous occasion. The lines are trochaic and carry a lot of dramatic emphasis. I especially like":
"Who can tell me why he lingers,
draped in darkness, waiting, waiting?"
Sends chills up my spine.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014

Thank you - this grew ever darker as I worked on it.

Steve

Comment from MizKat

Excellent

Hi Steve,

I think you did a great job in writing this Traditional Poetry - #2 for the contest. Anyway, I found it to be very interesting. I like how every other line rhymes.

Kat

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014

Thanks, Kat.

Steve

Comment from James Dooney

Excellent

I like this because it is very descriptive indeed. Traditional it is !!! Very well done and I wish you well in the writing prompt.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

This meets and exceeds the contest requirements splendidly. You weave a mystical web of imagery from start to finish and your Poe like execution is flawless. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014

Mystical web of imagery, I like it.

Thanks

Steve

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Very nice imagery, one after another. Flows smoothly, and considering the raging storm and the danger that's about to be. Tension all the way. Well crafted. Les

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014

Thanks, Les.

Steve

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Steve;
really well written piece of poetry that I enjoyed reading very much. The setting of this writing was very figurative and emblematic, also it has an allegorical, concrete and connotative time and place.
The imagery was grand and very demonstratively descriptive and eloquently expressive throughout: "Swift the night falls, like a curtain, (a beautiful figurative speech) still the wind falls unabating (I question the use of this word). Who can tell me why he lingers, draped in darkness, waiting, waiting?" These lines are very descriptive and also powerful.
The rhyming was very well done and neither forced nor labored anything helpful in the rhythmic flow. The use of assonant, feminine, light line, and also scarce rhymes were used throughout the writing. Also there were uses of metaphors and similes: "Cloaked in shadows on the foreshore, buffeted by winds, a stranger stands alone, in hellish silence, grave against the Tempest's(Capitalized) danger."
All in all, the quality that evoked me in this writing as a reader Was significantly achieved by its unequivocal essence to come across as a significant excellent writer.
Good luck in the contest for this is a very formidable writing and may the good Lord be with you always Steve.
Alex

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014

Alex, thank you for your thorough review - I appreciate that you take the time to single out lines for praise and also are honest enough to query others.

Steve

reply by krys123 on 15-Oct-2014

You are so sincerely welcome Steve and I enjoyed your lovable poem.
Alex