Dark Covenant
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Of Man and Beast"The Berwick Witches Series: Book One
28 total reviews
Comment from FJTrickster
I find their logic both flawed and ironic. First of all, to remove the curse requires the death of a young child but the witches won't hear of it so the cursed souls are now killing all their young sons. Also just because the curse doesn't affect females doesn't mean it isn't passed down. Rather than murder wouldn't it make more sense not to get married or have kids? I mean it's the 21st century so there's such a thing as birth control.
Anyway that's not a criticism. The chapter just made me think and I tend to comment on things. I find this exciting and thrilling and I'm curious to see how this issue will tie into the problems with the evil witch mentioned in the prologue. This looks like a wonderful story and I'm eager to see where you take it.
One thing I noticed that bothered me:
"Two weeks later while guarding one night, the Moon Crawlers, including those off duty, to the horrors of their families and the witches running for their lives, the men, one-by-one and sometimes in groups of threes and fours, began to turn into huge, vicious wolves."
This sentence tripped me up really badly. I think technically it's okay but it's awkward to read and it's rather like stubbing your toe on a door amidst the nice flowing prose around it. I get confused about the what's going on in the sentence right around "...to the horror...". I like the level of detail but I think it's okay to break up this sentence a little or something.
Bit over all it was fun. Great job.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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I find their logic both flawed and ironic. First of all, to remove the curse requires the death of a young child but the witches won't hear of it so the cursed souls are now killing all their young sons. Also just because the curse doesn't affect females doesn't mean it isn't passed down. Rather than murder wouldn't it make more sense not to get married or have kids? I mean it's the 21st century so there's such a thing as birth control.
Anyway that's not a criticism. The chapter just made me think and I tend to comment on things. I find this exciting and thrilling and I'm curious to see how this issue will tie into the problems with the evil witch mentioned in the prologue. This looks like a wonderful story and I'm eager to see where you take it.
One thing I noticed that bothered me:
"Two weeks later while guarding one night, the Moon Crawlers, including those off duty, to the horrors of their families and the witches running for their lives, the men, one-by-one and sometimes in groups of threes and fours, began to turn into huge, vicious wolves."
This sentence tripped me up really badly. I think technically it's okay but it's awkward to read and it's rather like stubbing your toe on a door amidst the nice flowing prose around it. I get confused about the what's going on in the sentence right around "...to the horror...". I like the level of detail but I think it's okay to break up this sentence a little or something.
Bit over all it was fun. Great job.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much FJ. Seldom do readers go back and read the beginning. I really appreciate that. Yeah, I did struggle with that long sentence you were talking about. But I left it in anyway. LOL I apologize if it caused you some literary stress. As long as I can grammatically get away with it, I like to mix my sentence up, short, long, compound and a little complex. But I don't do it too often.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Amahra. I was happy when you finally got round to telling the reader why all the little boys were slaughtered. I was beginning to wonder how the lines could continue with no men. Looking forward to the next chapters. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Hi Amahra. I was happy when you finally got round to telling the reader why all the little boys were slaughtered. I was beginning to wonder how the lines could continue with no men. Looking forward to the next chapters. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2014
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Thank you, so much for reading previous chapter.
Comment from NicciFaye
I really mean you describe the story so vividly! This is crazy River has to kill babies! That will drive anyone to feel how he feels and probably worst. Great work amahra!I actually wanted to give the prologue six stars but am out! Enjoying this thus far!
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2014
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I really mean you describe the story so vividly! This is crazy River has to kill babies! That will drive anyone to feel how he feels and probably worst. Great work amahra!I actually wanted to give the prologue six stars but am out! Enjoying this thus far!
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Faye. I'm so glad you are sympathetic for River. But this is chapter One. Prologue was last posting.
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Yes Amahra - I am aware I was reading chapter one, I was just stating I wanted to give the Prologue six stars. Looking forward to the next post.
Comment from chasennov
Chapter 1 of the book Dark Covenant The Berwick Witches Series: Book One "Of Man and Beast" If this chapter is anything to go by, it sounds as good as the prologue. Well done.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2014
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Chapter 1 of the book Dark Covenant The Berwick Witches Series: Book One "Of Man and Beast" If this chapter is anything to go by, it sounds as good as the prologue. Well done.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2014
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Thanks.
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Welcome.
Comment from perpetualwallflower
This story is really really good. It's incredibly sad but really good. It's well written and the story is very original. I liked it a lot. I can't wait for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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This story is really really good. It's incredibly sad but really good. It's well written and the story is very original. I liked it a lot. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, amahra, I enjoyed reading this chapter and finding out why the man had to kill his sons. the mother was so strong to be up on the same day, trying to give her husband some measure of comfort.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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this is an excellent write, amahra, I enjoyed reading this chapter and finding out why the man had to kill his sons. the mother was so strong to be up on the same day, trying to give her husband some measure of comfort.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you, sweetwoodjax. You're the only one who got that. I'm so glad for this review. I hope you stay with the story. There's some good stuff coming ahead.
Comment from lindalcreel
Wow, so they have to kill all the males? How will the bloodlines continue? I am already loving this story. Of course, you know how I feel about fantasy, anyway. Looking forward to getting to know these characters.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Wow, so they have to kill all the males? How will the bloodlines continue? I am already loving this story. Of course, you know how I feel about fantasy, anyway. Looking forward to getting to know these characters.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you want to continue reading the story.
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Always a pleasure:)
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Oh, the bloodline. That's just it; they don't want the werewolf bloodline to continue. The curse can be broken, but the Covenant witches won't kill a human being, which is what to break the curse requires. So they have come up with their own plan to kill themselves off, by killing the male children. Make sure you read the next post. It explains more. And it heats up a bit.
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Thanks so much for the explanation.
Comment from PatVallesMangan
I don't usually read much from this genre but I must say that this is a pleasant surprise. The author is able to portray the horror of the infant killings and now we are finding out about werewolves. Our minds are jumping as to this new world we are finding out about. This is an excellent prologue. I'm wondering where the author is going from here! You've got my attention!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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I don't usually read much from this genre but I must say that this is a pleasant surprise. The author is able to portray the horror of the infant killings and now we are finding out about werewolves. Our minds are jumping as to this new world we are finding out about. This is an excellent prologue. I'm wondering where the author is going from here! You've got my attention!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Pat. Actually, this is the first chapter. I think you have already reviewed my prologue on my previous posting.
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Ahhh yes! I look forward, in that case to chapter 2! :)
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
I must admit to not being a fan of supernatural fiction writing-I think mainly because I can't seem to think in that realm. However, I am really enjoying this story so far.
It is written with clarity and purpose and well plotted.
The characters are well presented and the story-line flows well.
I look forward to reading future chapters.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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I must admit to not being a fan of supernatural fiction writing-I think mainly because I can't seem to think in that realm. However, I am really enjoying this story so far.
It is written with clarity and purpose and well plotted.
The characters are well presented and the story-line flows well.
I look forward to reading future chapters.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 23-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, Shirley. Not too many are reading me because of the infant killings. But this is fiction and these are werewolf babies. LOL I appreciate you understanding this.
Comment from marijmd
What an awful thing to have to do! And they are all sad but still do this thing. Why? If the man is not eveil and his fathers should have killed him then his sons could have been good too. And it is in modern times to boot. Strange indeed.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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What an awful thing to have to do! And they are all sad but still do this thing. Why? If the man is not eveil and his fathers should have killed him then his sons could have been good too. And it is in modern times to boot. Strange indeed.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Thank you, marijmd for not being turned off by the beginning. I'm glad you stuck with it.
