Domestic Violence and Mass Hypocrisy
Let's talk about it.55 total reviews
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Lancellot....
You make extremely valid points.
I truly believe that there are men who are abused by women, and that fact is overlooked. I think it is the age old believe that the woman remain the fairer sex and thus, must be treated as such.
I personally think that is - wrong - thinking. Abuse is abuse, be it a man toward a woman, or a woman toward a man. No difference!
The penalty should be the same. Will we ever see the day that will happen? Sad to say, probably not.
Excellent commentary.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Hi, Lancellot....
You make extremely valid points.
I truly believe that there are men who are abused by women, and that fact is overlooked. I think it is the age old believe that the woman remain the fairer sex and thus, must be treated as such.
I personally think that is - wrong - thinking. Abuse is abuse, be it a man toward a woman, or a woman toward a man. No difference!
The penalty should be the same. Will we ever see the day that will happen? Sad to say, probably not.
Excellent commentary.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Shirley B
I have to admit I agree with a lot of what you have to say. I believe no one should hit anyone else. If I hit a man, I would think I would be hit back. That is why I would never hit anyone. Plus I live in a area where people carry concealed guns or open carry. It is legal. Why would I place my myself in the position? Best of luck to you in the contest. Shirley
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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I have to admit I agree with a lot of what you have to say. I believe no one should hit anyone else. If I hit a man, I would think I would be hit back. That is why I would never hit anyone. Plus I live in a area where people carry concealed guns or open carry. It is legal. Why would I place my myself in the position? Best of luck to you in the contest. Shirley
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from ann marie mazz
hello lancellot
allow me to let your thoughts and words stand
and yes
allow me to answer your question
"So, why are many calling Janay a battered woman? Why are they ignoring what the victim wants?"
I have worked as a domestic violence advocate in shelters and in the courts with restraining orders
the victim many times is timid and afraid to charge and lash out thus the state and authorities step in to assist and make the determination whether to prosecute and punish
your words and message is timely and well received
this situation continues and continues and continues
enjoy the weekend and night
ann marie
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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hello lancellot
allow me to let your thoughts and words stand
and yes
allow me to answer your question
"So, why are many calling Janay a battered woman? Why are they ignoring what the victim wants?"
I have worked as a domestic violence advocate in shelters and in the courts with restraining orders
the victim many times is timid and afraid to charge and lash out thus the state and authorities step in to assist and make the determination whether to prosecute and punish
your words and message is timely and well received
this situation continues and continues and continues
enjoy the weekend and night
ann marie
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Trybuck
I believe too much was made of the incident by the media. No, Ray didn't have the right to hit Janay nor Janay the right to do as she did.
People in the limelight have to walk a tight line because everything they do and say has an impact on their employers.
The law should decide the punishment not the mob..
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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I believe too much was made of the incident by the media. No, Ray didn't have the right to hit Janay nor Janay the right to do as she did.
People in the limelight have to walk a tight line because everything they do and say has an impact on their employers.
The law should decide the punishment not the mob..
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from joann r romei
this is america, and you are entitled to your opinion, first off.. woman still make less than men in the work place, and are considered whores if they sleep around, a thing that men claim they are programed to do. any type of violence that involves a loved one, comes from anger, ignorance and not being able to control one self. and since when does spit hurt, shoot she's had her saliva all over him, if u know what i mean, and she does not want to loose that money either, let them kill eachother for all i care, she could have been killed by that punch, he didnt even call 911 or check for a pulse, hope to hear what u think of this.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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this is america, and you are entitled to your opinion, first off.. woman still make less than men in the work place, and are considered whores if they sleep around, a thing that men claim they are programed to do. any type of violence that involves a loved one, comes from anger, ignorance and not being able to control one self. and since when does spit hurt, shoot she's had her saliva all over him, if u know what i mean, and she does not want to loose that money either, let them kill eachother for all i care, she could have been killed by that punch, he didnt even call 911 or check for a pulse, hope to hear what u think of this.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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I see and respect your opinions. People come from different sub-cultures and background. We do not all experience the same things growing up, and therefore have different views on many things. The statement that women still make less than men has been proven(by unbiased research) to a myth, brought out each election cycle. To say women are considered whores if they sleep around, is to paint all society with a broad brush, and assume we all think the same, without any evidence to support that statement. (I for one do not feel that). You make many assumption about men and what hurts, by grouping people, and denying our individuality. Spitting in someone's face, is not about physical pain, it is a sign of supreme disrespect and has gotten people killed throughout history (you can look this up, if you don't believe me).
Also, I never said Ray was right to hit his wife. I said many times, he was wrong,and he committed a crime. Yes, he could have killed her, and then he would be and should be charged with 2nd degree murder or at least manslaughter.
Perhaps, the point of my commentary was missed, but I do appreciate your reading and review.
Thank you.
Lance.
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hahha, yes she was wrong to spit, why didnt he just spit back? society on a whole will never see the point in your piece. we as a human race are supposed to rise above all, and evolve. but i will agree the world tries to make things black and white, when indeed everything is grey. thanks for responding no hard feelings ok, i dont want to take a tongue lashing on fan story,
Comment from country ranch writer
GRANDPA ALWAYS SAID IF YOU WANT TO ACT LIKE A MAN YOU WILL GET TREATED LIKE A MAN.WITH THIS SAID IT MAKES HER JUST AS GUILTY FOR PROVOKING HIM ON LIKE SHE DID. WOMEN SHOULD BE TREATED WITH RESPECT BUT IT A TWO WAY STREET THEY CAN'T HAVE THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TO OR CAN THEY?
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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GRANDPA ALWAYS SAID IF YOU WANT TO ACT LIKE A MAN YOU WILL GET TREATED LIKE A MAN.WITH THIS SAID IT MAKES HER JUST AS GUILTY FOR PROVOKING HIM ON LIKE SHE DID. WOMEN SHOULD BE TREATED WITH RESPECT BUT IT A TWO WAY STREET THEY CAN'T HAVE THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TO OR CAN THEY?
Comment Written 04-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
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S M I L E
Comment from bigmox
I get the feeling you expect comments to be premised on your expressed opinions but that seems more appropriate to a different forum. I'm just going to offer some notes on your writing. First let me say your opinion is shared by many but not well supported in your essay. There are two possibilities--one is you were trying express your opinion as the result of an objective analysis of factual material. The other, more likely, possibility is that you were expressing opinions you only wished to support with information that might convince others to agree with you. But your writing doesn't lend itself to either purpose. It is vigorous and entertaining--you use vowels effectively and your sentences flow interestingly. Your paragraph structure doesn't help you make your arguments, however, because you don't follow a coherent format of a general topic statement followed by supporting sentences. The result is a reader has to read a whole paragraph and try to figure out which points you were trying to make. In general, this kind of essay would be more easily understandable if it started with a summary paragraph followed by supporting paragraphs that had topic sentences that tracked back to the summary paragraph. I doubt you'll want to rewrite, but if you did, that would be the structure to shoot for.
Now to another issue. Your essay is riddled with false premises. Fox News and MSNBC and other media outlets pushing a particular point of view have made this common practice but it's sloppy and you shouldn't follow their lead. For example,you say that violence by women against men hasn't been mentioned when in fact it has, many times in many forms of media. You also say it's politically incorrect not to call Ray Rice a Hitler (a difficult to read double negative, by the way)etc., opinions others may have expressed but for which you have no support among reasonable people. You say that calls for Goodell's termination have ceased; that simply isn't true. Other examples are throughout the essay. This method of argument is exciting but anyone who thinks at all just considers it bloviation.
You also seem to be saying people deserve to be assaulted if they do stupid things. I agree completely with you that many people are harmed and assaulted simply because they were doing something they shouldn't have been doing--most assaults and shootings occur late at night where alcohol is served and could be avoided by just not being there. But stupidity does not excuse or justify in any way unlawful violence, so your outrage is just outrage. The law doesn't say assaults are illegal only if they are unprovoked.
You offer two definitions and ignore what they say, which is that domestic violence includes intimidation and abuse other than violence. It seems not to have occurred to you that Janay has had her life threatened if she doesn't support Ray the way she has. I'm not saying it is so, but come on--there are millions at stake. It's certainly a possibility and just as abusive.
Your rhetorical questions may or may not have been asked by people other than you. I haven't heard any of them. Your answer is your opinion. You offer no other support for it.
Your final paragraph is okay and I actually agree with you. But it is inconsistent with your earlier assertions about media personalities who were punished by their employers (not the mob) because they said things on the air that could have affected audience response. That's an employer's call, according to your own argument.
In summary, I might have more respect for your opinions if this were a well written essay with accurately stated premises and facts to back them up.
The four stars are for entertaining writing, but it isn't technically good writing and wouldn't be published by anything that is edited.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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I get the feeling you expect comments to be premised on your expressed opinions but that seems more appropriate to a different forum. I'm just going to offer some notes on your writing. First let me say your opinion is shared by many but not well supported in your essay. There are two possibilities--one is you were trying express your opinion as the result of an objective analysis of factual material. The other, more likely, possibility is that you were expressing opinions you only wished to support with information that might convince others to agree with you. But your writing doesn't lend itself to either purpose. It is vigorous and entertaining--you use vowels effectively and your sentences flow interestingly. Your paragraph structure doesn't help you make your arguments, however, because you don't follow a coherent format of a general topic statement followed by supporting sentences. The result is a reader has to read a whole paragraph and try to figure out which points you were trying to make. In general, this kind of essay would be more easily understandable if it started with a summary paragraph followed by supporting paragraphs that had topic sentences that tracked back to the summary paragraph. I doubt you'll want to rewrite, but if you did, that would be the structure to shoot for.
Now to another issue. Your essay is riddled with false premises. Fox News and MSNBC and other media outlets pushing a particular point of view have made this common practice but it's sloppy and you shouldn't follow their lead. For example,you say that violence by women against men hasn't been mentioned when in fact it has, many times in many forms of media. You also say it's politically incorrect not to call Ray Rice a Hitler (a difficult to read double negative, by the way)etc., opinions others may have expressed but for which you have no support among reasonable people. You say that calls for Goodell's termination have ceased; that simply isn't true. Other examples are throughout the essay. This method of argument is exciting but anyone who thinks at all just considers it bloviation.
You also seem to be saying people deserve to be assaulted if they do stupid things. I agree completely with you that many people are harmed and assaulted simply because they were doing something they shouldn't have been doing--most assaults and shootings occur late at night where alcohol is served and could be avoided by just not being there. But stupidity does not excuse or justify in any way unlawful violence, so your outrage is just outrage. The law doesn't say assaults are illegal only if they are unprovoked.
You offer two definitions and ignore what they say, which is that domestic violence includes intimidation and abuse other than violence. It seems not to have occurred to you that Janay has had her life threatened if she doesn't support Ray the way she has. I'm not saying it is so, but come on--there are millions at stake. It's certainly a possibility and just as abusive.
Your rhetorical questions may or may not have been asked by people other than you. I haven't heard any of them. Your answer is your opinion. You offer no other support for it.
Your final paragraph is okay and I actually agree with you. But it is inconsistent with your earlier assertions about media personalities who were punished by their employers (not the mob) because they said things on the air that could have affected audience response. That's an employer's call, according to your own argument.
In summary, I might have more respect for your opinions if this were a well written essay with accurately stated premises and facts to back them up.
The four stars are for entertaining writing, but it isn't technically good writing and wouldn't be published by anything that is edited.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2014
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Lol, I love it when Standard members spend money just so they can throw insults at people who actually post.
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Guess you're not interested in writing better.
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Oh, I am. First you assumed this was an essay. It is clearly listed as commentary. It is an Opinion piece. That is stated within the first two lines before I begin.
It is easy to sit on the sidelines, it is something different to get in the game.
Do you want to play?
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Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I spent my career as an author and editor (not a critic) and tried to point out a few things I would have suggested to you as your editor. If I were being paid I would have taken more time and shown you specifically how to restructure the piece. Good writing is hard work and its elements have nothing to do with whether it is opinion or not. Opinions written well can cause other people to think differently than they otherwise might. Poorly written rants rarely do. Again, I'm sorry and won't comment further.
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Didn't mean to upset me, but even at the end you still throw insults. (Poorly written rants)
I may not be a good writer, but at least I am honest. Thank you, I would be happy never to see your name again.
Comment from GWinterwin
Very good survey of the problems you spoke of, good facts and no doubt much of it true. The problem I have with this violence thing is all the women that are killed by their mate or boyfriend. If a woman hits someone she should be arrested to, unless she is protecting herself. How many men are beat to death each year by their wife or girlfriend, compared to how many women are beat to death by their mate or boyfriend. There is many women who do things they shouldn't but until men realize you can walk away, but too many men think that wouldn't be manly or tough, and I can't let the world think I'm a tender foot. I'm sure there are plenty of trouble making women, but leave, isn't that better than children seeing their mother hurt or maybe them getting hurt also.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Very good survey of the problems you spoke of, good facts and no doubt much of it true. The problem I have with this violence thing is all the women that are killed by their mate or boyfriend. If a woman hits someone she should be arrested to, unless she is protecting herself. How many men are beat to death each year by their wife or girlfriend, compared to how many women are beat to death by their mate or boyfriend. There is many women who do things they shouldn't but until men realize you can walk away, but too many men think that wouldn't be manly or tough, and I can't let the world think I'm a tender foot. I'm sure there are plenty of trouble making women, but leave, isn't that better than children seeing their mother hurt or maybe them getting hurt also.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from GracieAnn
lancellot, this Non-Fiction Writing Contest entry provides an interesting viewpoint on violence and all the fall out it creates whether a person is male or female. Powerful commentary. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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lancellot, this Non-Fiction Writing Contest entry provides an interesting viewpoint on violence and all the fall out it creates whether a person is male or female. Powerful commentary. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Well-written essay, clear and concise and factual as far as I can see.
I am happy to support you in what you say. Having got this far through life, if there's one thing I know, it's that things are rarely black and white - there are almost always shades of grey.
One area you didn't touch on is the situation where women go out and drink heavily, act and dress provocatively and then end up in trouble. Of course the rapist/abuser is wrong and her actions don't make it less so, but all the same, she has contributed to her own downfall.
Good luck with the reactions to this - hopefully not as violent as you might think.
Steve
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Well-written essay, clear and concise and factual as far as I can see.
I am happy to support you in what you say. Having got this far through life, if there's one thing I know, it's that things are rarely black and white - there are almost always shades of grey.
One area you didn't touch on is the situation where women go out and drink heavily, act and dress provocatively and then end up in trouble. Of course the rapist/abuser is wrong and her actions don't make it less so, but all the same, she has contributed to her own downfall.
Good luck with the reactions to this - hopefully not as violent as you might think.
Steve
Comment Written 03-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much.
