Gloom Soon Passes
trochaic meter in 7/8/7/8122 total reviews
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the poem. Dandelions and bubbles are magic to children. They make wishes as they blow the white fluff around. They blow their bubbles and do not grief when they pop. They can always blow more. They know the yellow dandelions will bloom again. Great work.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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I love the picture. I love the poem. Dandelions and bubbles are magic to children. They make wishes as they blow the white fluff around. They blow their bubbles and do not grief when they pop. They can always blow more. They know the yellow dandelions will bloom again. Great work.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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nelliesellie, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is beautifully penned and meets the contest requirements wonderfully. You always manage to produce pure magic out of the simplest moments in life. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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This is beautifully penned and meets the contest requirements wonderfully. You always manage to produce pure magic out of the simplest moments in life. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Mystic Angel, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Sanku
The gloom of loss soon passes- true.Night has to give in to the day and sure dndelions will bloom again .There is a sad overtone in this poem ,particularly in the first two stanzas, then there is an attempt to cheer up with the thought that the ever-so-sporty breeze would give a lift to the seeds and the will come up again and children blow and create floating rainbows (I loved that phrese) again and again.
the sadness and the later cheer resulting from the thoughts of rebirth reminded me of the classic elegies like Lycidas and Adonais.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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The gloom of loss soon passes- true.Night has to give in to the day and sure dndelions will bloom again .There is a sad overtone in this poem ,particularly in the first two stanzas, then there is an attempt to cheer up with the thought that the ever-so-sporty breeze would give a lift to the seeds and the will come up again and children blow and create floating rainbows (I loved that phrese) again and again.
the sadness and the later cheer resulting from the thoughts of rebirth reminded me of the classic elegies like Lycidas and Adonais.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Sanku, for your generous and gracious response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from sgalletti
Hi Brooke! As you know, I have a difficult time with trochee since iambic comes so naturally to me. But, I've entered this contest reluctantly because I adore Rose, appreciate what she is doing with her contests, and want to challenge myself. Your poem is a wonderful example of what I will attempt to emulate. Great message using the wonderful imagery of dandelions, bubbles and Sawyer. Great execution of trochaic meter and alliteration/consonance. Best of luck in the contest. Sue
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Hi Brooke! As you know, I have a difficult time with trochee since iambic comes so naturally to me. But, I've entered this contest reluctantly because I adore Rose, appreciate what she is doing with her contests, and want to challenge myself. Your poem is a wonderful example of what I will attempt to emulate. Great message using the wonderful imagery of dandelions, bubbles and Sawyer. Great execution of trochaic meter and alliteration/consonance. Best of luck in the contest. Sue
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Sue, thank you :-) I'm glad you entered. For a few days nobody else had joined in. I also write naturally in iambic, but challenges are fun, aren't they? :-) Brooke
Comment from michaelcahill
This is so natural to me. It took a year to break me of this. This is how I would naturally write. Iambic was so foreign and backwards to me. This is just beautiful as the images bounce back and forth in my head. What a great poem. I love the way this sounds, so forceful! mikey
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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This is so natural to me. It took a year to break me of this. This is how I would naturally write. Iambic was so foreign and backwards to me. This is just beautiful as the images bounce back and forth in my head. What a great poem. I love the way this sounds, so forceful! mikey
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Mikey, thank you so much - I write naturally in iambic meter - I know what you mean that once your mind is attuned to a certain meter, it is quite a challenge to shift gears :-) Brooke
Comment from Leineco
Opening line is perfect Trochaic (DAN-de-LI-ons GO to SEED), establishing the meter firmly (While I can write two or three lines - I always find myself slipping back into iambic - you, on the other hand, show mastery of commitment :-)
I love the puffed dandelion image juxtaposed against the bubble - both fragile spheres - both offering a certain joy in their inevitable deconstruction :-)
Nicely done Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Opening line is perfect Trochaic (DAN-de-LI-ons GO to SEED), establishing the meter firmly (While I can write two or three lines - I always find myself slipping back into iambic - you, on the other hand, show mastery of commitment :-)
I love the puffed dandelion image juxtaposed against the bubble - both fragile spheres - both offering a certain joy in their inevitable deconstruction :-)
Nicely done Brooke :-)
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Leineco, thank you - yes, I naturally think in iambic too, so this was quite a challenge :-) Brooke
Comment from Dean Kuch
"Dandelion seeds of silk,
hitch a ride on breezes blowing.
Meadows once as white as milk
then will thrive with gold aglowing." --adewpearl
This was so lovely, Brooke, and the highlighted verse was my favorite.
The entire poem was exceptionally lovely, and your rhyming, enjambment and vivid imagery really carried this wonderfully written poem along.
Fabulous!
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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"Dandelion seeds of silk,
hitch a ride on breezes blowing.
Meadows once as white as milk
then will thrive with gold aglowing." --adewpearl
This was so lovely, Brooke, and the highlighted verse was my favorite.
The entire poem was exceptionally lovely, and your rhyming, enjambment and vivid imagery really carried this wonderfully written poem along.
Fabulous!
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Dean, thank you so very much, my thoughtful and generous friend :-) Brooke
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My pleasure as always, Brooke :}
Comment from rod007
A very thoughtful poem about the change of the seasons. In your reflection, there is hope as the change won't prevent a fresh start and the gloom of loss will soon pass. Well done, Brooke.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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A very thoughtful poem about the change of the seasons. In your reflection, there is hope as the change won't prevent a fresh start and the gloom of loss will soon pass. Well done, Brooke.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2014
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Rod, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Eternal Muse
Brooke, you wrote a beautiful poem with fantastic imagery and appeal. I am not sure I'm too crazy about trhochaic meter though (lol). It just doesn't flow for me. But your poem is beautifully done within the constraints of the form, with the picture of our dear Sawyer blowing bubbles. He is precious.
Love, Y.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014
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Brooke, you wrote a beautiful poem with fantastic imagery and appeal. I am not sure I'm too crazy about trhochaic meter though (lol). It just doesn't flow for me. But your poem is beautifully done within the constraints of the form, with the picture of our dear Sawyer blowing bubbles. He is precious.
Love, Y.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, Yelena. I naturally think in iambic too :-) Brooke
Comment from tfawcus
This had me jumping to the contests' tab! What a refreshing change of pace. Your choice of the 7/8/7/8 format with abab rhyming accentuates the rhythm and the way it 'digs in' at the beginning of each line, like a ship ploughing through waves at sea. I used to enjoy bursting the bubbles or the dandelion seed heads with a puff of childish breath, to release the little parachutes into the wind so that they could find new pastures. Your comparison between this and the actual blowing of bubbles adds another dimension.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014
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This had me jumping to the contests' tab! What a refreshing change of pace. Your choice of the 7/8/7/8 format with abab rhyming accentuates the rhythm and the way it 'digs in' at the beginning of each line, like a ship ploughing through waves at sea. I used to enjoy bursting the bubbles or the dandelion seed heads with a puff of childish breath, to release the little parachutes into the wind so that they could find new pastures. Your comparison between this and the actual blowing of bubbles adds another dimension.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014
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I'm so glad you joined in. I just read your entry :-) Thanks so much, my friend. Brooke
