Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Physician & Patient: Pt. 1"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
16 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Fitting right into your direction here with another little tale. Thanks for a good read. Fantasy I know but not complicated or curious as you have been known to do. I am getting ideas from this for my Fiction if I ever get it off the ground thanks for the ideas will let you know later. Shock horror NO SPAGS!
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
  |
Fitting right into your direction here with another little tale. Thanks for a good read. Fantasy I know but not complicated or curious as you have been known to do. I am getting ideas from this for my Fiction if I ever get it off the ground thanks for the ideas will let you know later. Shock horror NO SPAGS!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
-
Glad to hear it's giving you some notions. This one is getting interesting for me too. I like learning about medicine in olden times. There were treatments like music therapy tried back then. Of course, burning at the stake was an option too! Thanks for the read my friend. I see you're rolling with your splits and all. I'll be by for a look today. mikey
Comment from ProjectBluebook
The prose reads tidy, nice and neat. I well thought out and entertaining chapter. Looks better, you are getting even better Mikey. I'm impressed, you have come a long ways as an author and it surely shows, judging by this exceptional scripted chapter. Hope you get them reviews. Looks very promising and enjoyable to read. i been off-line for a spell, so I'm not an expert on the SPAG. I'm sure, there will be one to poke a finger no matter how perfect it is. Count your doubloon. Always with respect, do loco
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2014
 |
The prose reads tidy, nice and neat. I well thought out and entertaining chapter. Looks better, you are getting even better Mikey. I'm impressed, you have come a long ways as an author and it surely shows, judging by this exceptional scripted chapter. Hope you get them reviews. Looks very promising and enjoyable to read. i been off-line for a spell, so I'm not an expert on the SPAG. I'm sure, there will be one to poke a finger no matter how perfect it is. Count your doubloon. Always with respect, do loco
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2014
-
Thank you. I'm liking this book quite a bit, but it is harder to write. I have to think about it a lot more than the others. Working on it now in fact. Julia is nutty as a loon, but actually she is just seeing and hearing past lives she has lived. But she doesn't know that, she just sees and hears what she sees and hears. Thanks for the great review. Appreciate the encouragement! mikey
-
The least I can do for being gone on that other site this long. yep, I'm fixin to return that nasty reviewer's favor with a pleasant review of my own. I can play his game and make him look bad. Maybe he will get the message, not to be so rude to people who are not perfect. i ain't wrote nothingin weeks and this is what I get, the worst reviewer imaginable, but I will honor him with what he gave me, that creep. Yep, you got a good novel going, but some get jealous, trust me.
Comment from seaglass
This introduces us to another interesting lifetime. Something I wonder about. Perhaps I missed its explanation. Question: Is there a reason/divine plan for why they become who they do?
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2014
|
This introduces us to another interesting lifetime. Something I wonder about. Perhaps I missed its explanation. Question: Is there a reason/divine plan for why they become who they do?
Comment Written 26-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2014
-
The souls including the narrator are not aware of one if there is. There is much that they don't know either. They don't know where they came from. They are aware that as the population of humans increase so do the number of souls, but they don't know where they come from. I haven't looked at the original story in a long time! It seems to be taking off on its own. Typical..
Comment from Loren (7)
Mikey - this reads much better, the language seemingly less forced and natural. Parts of it read like a fable (maybe that was the "telling" part your were referring to) but it did not distract that much from the story overall. The only way to get around telling, it seems, is to draw the story out with more dialogue and scene setting. Interesting concept I must say. Loren
|
Mikey - this reads much better, the language seemingly less forced and natural. Parts of it read like a fable (maybe that was the "telling" part your were referring to) but it did not distract that much from the story overall. The only way to get around telling, it seems, is to draw the story out with more dialogue and scene setting. Interesting concept I must say. Loren
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from gypsycaravan
It will be interesting to see how Julia and Valerius meet and what their conflict becomes in this life. I like that she has remembrances of her former lives but unaware what those memories are. Sounding good to me. Keep going.
|
It will be interesting to see how Julia and Valerius meet and what their conflict becomes in this life. I like that she has remembrances of her former lives but unaware what those memories are. Sounding good to me. Keep going.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from Sasha
You need to stop apologizing for how you write this. If telling is required, then that is the way it should be. That said, I enjoyed this one and can relate to Julia; my sister is autistic and lives in her own private world. When I was a child, I too lived in my own world where no one was allowed to enter...but for different reasons. I am enjoying this immensely and anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
|
You need to stop apologizing for how you write this. If telling is required, then that is the way it should be. That said, I enjoyed this one and can relate to Julia; my sister is autistic and lives in her own private world. When I was a child, I too lived in my own world where no one was allowed to enter...but for different reasons. I am enjoying this immensely and anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
-
Okay. I will. I was just afraid that I was having a conversation and nobodies mouth was moving but mine! I work with the mentally ill. That is a good point you make. I also have a world inside that few are privy too. I think that is true of everyone to some degree. I so appreciate your support. Thank you, mikey
Comment from Jay Squires
OMG, I love this: your plotting, your story line, your major story premise that develops into these individual stories.
Have you thought of scripting this? I am stunned by what you're doing.
Still, there were concerns:
There were those that considered [As a general rule, use "who" for animate and "that" for inanimate. That's the classical rule, and the one I feel comfortable with, but I understand the writer is given more latitude today. For this reason, though the deviation makes me cringe, I was hesitant to even mention it. 'nuff said.]
it is the powers that be determining [Just a suggestion, to take or reject: " ... the powers that be determine ..."]
A village where the religious leaders [try to shorten and get rid of some "thats". The last one's not needed at all.]
It brought trouble to do otherwise, it brought peace to acquiesce. [This is a POWERFUL last line to the paragraph]
and not find one's self smiling. ["oneself" >> only use "one's self" when "self" is used in the philosophical or spiritual sense. Thanks Google Grammar!]
Keep them coming. I'm sure you're developing a fabulous following here.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
|
OMG, I love this: your plotting, your story line, your major story premise that develops into these individual stories.
Have you thought of scripting this? I am stunned by what you're doing.
Still, there were concerns:
There were those that considered [As a general rule, use "who" for animate and "that" for inanimate. That's the classical rule, and the one I feel comfortable with, but I understand the writer is given more latitude today. For this reason, though the deviation makes me cringe, I was hesitant to even mention it. 'nuff said.]
it is the powers that be determining [Just a suggestion, to take or reject: " ... the powers that be determine ..."]
A village where the religious leaders [try to shorten and get rid of some "thats". The last one's not needed at all.]
It brought trouble to do otherwise, it brought peace to acquiesce. [This is a POWERFUL last line to the paragraph]
and not find one's self smiling. ["oneself" >> only use "one's self" when "self" is used in the philosophical or spiritual sense. Thanks Google Grammar!]
Keep them coming. I'm sure you're developing a fabulous following here.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
-
This is wonderful input. I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate it. Please remind me when I use "that" instead of "who". A bad habit! Do it all the time. Never wrote a script thought that is an intriguing idea. I'm just now learning how to write a book. But, with all the help available here, I might give it a go! Thank you, mikey
Comment from nordicgirl
I was wondering when you would get rolling. You have a tough act to follow. A great idea. Fascinating. Julia is perceived to be insane when all she is doing is remembering. This is a great beginning. Valerius i assume ends up as her doctor.
|
I was wondering when you would get rolling. You have a tough act to follow. A great idea. Fascinating. Julia is perceived to be insane when all she is doing is remembering. This is a great beginning. Valerius i assume ends up as her doctor.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from robina1978
Thanks for answering my question I the beginning. Now I know. It is really gong to be a very interesting book with ghosts coming back to earth several times.
|
Thanks for answering my question I the beginning. Now I know. It is really gong to be a very interesting book with ghosts coming back to earth several times.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from faragon
I had wondered how far ahead or in the past you would advance with their next coming to Earth. I like how this segment is progressing. I like the breaks in the format to show the different families.
|
I had wondered how far ahead or in the past you would advance with their next coming to Earth. I like how this segment is progressing. I like the breaks in the format to show the different families.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
