Comment from sunnilicious

Excellent

Congratulations on winning the ribbon. You really thought this poem out. Great visual imagery created. Good flow of rhythm and rhymes. Cute work.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from Sanku

Excellent

This question teases everyone especially in the evening of their life.I was reminded of "Road Not Taken " by Frost.Good rhymes and enjambment .Congratulations for winning.'delight awaits round each bend' true but sometimes bends give us shocks too.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Lost n Thought

Excellent

This is a very well written poem. I love the story that it tells, it really made me think. The rhyme and rhythm were excellent as well. Lovely piece, great job!

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

Beautifully done. Marvelous enjambment for a smooth flowing read.
Perfect rhyme and iambic meter.
A question we all ponder in the end--fine subject.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014

Thanks, bd!

Steve

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

Superb work with this one. I love the question you pose, "What if I had chosen a different path? What would have happened?" This is one, I am sure we all have asked ourselves one tie or another. Very, nice work and a great entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks again, Sasha.
Personally I wasn't too sure about this one...

Steve

Comment from mauial

Excellent

I love the easy flow of your poem and the question at the end: what if I'd gone the other way? It's a question every one ponders over from time to time.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Judy Couch

Exceptional

Excellent poem. It follows the rhyme requirements of the prompt well. It raises a question that many of us think about. What if I had chosen a different path? What would have happened?

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks, Judy.

It is very easy to say 'I wouldn't change a thing, but how many of us really mean it I wonder.

Steve

Comment from Lovinia

Excellent

Hi Steve

An excellent entry for the contest ... a field of strong contenders. I like your theme and your meter has perfect flow.

Simple in style, yet eloquent. Some nice phrasing throughout: -

"a myriad of treasures, for
delight awaits around each bend"

"But sombre, too, some paths I wend;
from light to darkness they extend,
for beauty has its price to pay,"

What if you'd gone the other way? .... Your conclusion draws the reader to ponder on their own terms and with their own questioning. I like that you piece continues even when it has finished. :)))

I love the loads of alliteration, assonance and consonance which creates a strong resonance while using only simple words. The poem hasn't tried to over-state itself, though your journey has been significant. Well done, great presentation. I wish you all the best for the contest. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks, Lovinia.

A little delicate this 'understated' business. Frost was good at it - me, not so much. I am a little undecided on this one personally, perhaps because it is too imitative.

Steve

reply by Lovinia on 16-Sep-2014

Hi Steve

Seems more than a few of us feel you did it well. I hope to see you at the top of the list. :)) Some great poems in this though one voter states that only two followed the required rhyme and meter scheme. Meter gets me muddled but they mostly seemed fine to me. I guess the road less travelled is not a new theme, then it can be about taking something well-worn and well-loved and making it better. I think Frost would enjoy this and perhaps you're being a bit hard on yourself. Yes 'under-stated' is so simple yet so complicated to do well. :))

I hope your journey is much longer and that you always choose the right path .... though I've heard it said, there is no right or wrong path, only not choosing any path is the problem. Good luck. Hugs - Lovi xoxox

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014

It's frustrating that we don't know who made the 'only two entries' comment, so we can say 'what the heck are you talking about?' I checked the two 'approved' poems - they may have been the only ones that repeated the last line exactly - as frost's poem does - but that wasn't a requirement....

Anyway, I got the win!

reply by Lovinia on 16-Sep-2014

Yes ... I felt they were commenting on the last two lines .. and if they'd been more vigilant they would have realised not a requirement to repeat. I think he/she was more pissed off about just2write's inference that meter and rhyme was for the serious poets and the rest of us be dammed as inferior beings. I'm sure (I hope) she didn't mean it that way. Anyway you had my vote and you were the winner ... so congratulations. With so many contests posting their own rules ... it is getting a little confusing. I had to let writers of perfectly good poems know they were complying with the rules and might be disqualified. One of them I wanted to vote for. I'm on my fourth coffee of the day ... so floating in nirvana .... it's usually green tea time! I've run out of dried chili ..... YIKES!!

Pants on Fire ... he WON!!! Zoot! Zoot! xoxox

Comment from Cumbrianlass

Exceptional

I had quite the reaction to this poem of yours. There are times in my life that, had I not made a decision, would have wandered down a vastly different path.

Such reflections can be hard on the mind, I think, so I don't do it often.

I love this, Steve. Gave me goose bumps.

No doubt you'll be on the podium with this one.

Av

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks, Av.

Goosebumps is good! Just think I might have started writing poetry when I was 20 instead of 60!

Steve

Comment from stroncoso1

Excellent

"What if?" is a clever poem and is a lovely reference to Robert Frost's famous poem. Your lines rhyme well and flow nicely into the next verse. I like the idea that you question the road less travelled and ask "..what if I'd one the other way?" Well done.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve