haiku (watching the flowers)
Just wondering26 total reviews
Comment from Raphael Montonaro
Very good Haiku. Great turning line at the end. Well formed and content that was chosen. Great job from a good Haiku poet. Keep writing!
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Very good Haiku. Great turning line at the end. Well formed and content that was chosen. Great job from a good Haiku poet. Keep writing!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
Comment from ravenblack
Rain as sadness. But look at it this way. Rain to them is a joy, quenching their thirst....just like at times we need some downtime. I get what you are saying- just riffing on the idea a bit. Good haiku.
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Rain as sadness. But look at it this way. Rain to them is a joy, quenching their thirst....just like at times we need some downtime. I get what you are saying- just riffing on the idea a bit. Good haiku.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
Comment from xotic flotsam
The flowers seek life, the sun's rays. They drink itnits photosynthetic miracle for they never know when light shall become a prelude to dehydrated death. Form appears appropriate and correct. Good luck.
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The flowers seek life, the sun's rays. They drink itnits photosynthetic miracle for they never know when light shall become a prelude to dehydrated death. Form appears appropriate and correct. Good luck.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
You have given a haiku in exactly seventeen syllables - in the second line did you mean 'why' or 'while' which seems to make more sense - and your final line states a fact. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
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You have given a haiku in exactly seventeen syllables - in the second line did you mean 'why' or 'while' which seems to make more sense - and your final line states a fact. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
Comment from Acquired Taste
very nice haiku - actually, you pose an interesting question. Seems two completely opposite poles of a gift of nature. Am amazed when people's minds seek out those kinds of questions. Good Luck! AT=/
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very nice haiku - actually, you pose an interesting question. Seems two completely opposite poles of a gift of nature. Am amazed when people's minds seek out those kinds of questions. Good Luck! AT=/
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
Comment from Leineco
watching the flowers
why they seek the sunlight's rays
but die without rain
Definitely a point of meditation - it took me a minute to realize the satori was in the first line rather than the 3rd :-) Nice one :-)
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watching the flowers
why they seek the sunlight's rays
but die without rain
Definitely a point of meditation - it took me a minute to realize the satori was in the first line rather than the 3rd :-) Nice one :-)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
Comment from hari anand
Very interesting take on nature haiku, yes they would certainly die without rain but couldnt survive without sun too. Mysterious nature has its own ways....
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Very interesting take on nature haiku, yes they would certainly die without rain but couldnt survive without sun too. Mysterious nature has its own ways....
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
Comment from rrabinow
I enjoyed reading your poem. Great job with the haiku prompt. Great job with the description you use. I like your aha moment. Best of luck.
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I enjoyed reading your poem. Great job with the haiku prompt. Great job with the description you use. I like your aha moment. Best of luck.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
Comment from seaglass
This is an imaginative haiku. Such a balance the flowers need. sun and water but not too much of either. This paints a picture of someone pondering this question.
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This is an imaginative haiku. Such a balance the flowers need. sun and water but not too much of either. This paints a picture of someone pondering this question.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your syllable count spot on
your few words allow the reader to see and feel that the flowers seek the sunshine but without rain they die
cheers Smoothiecool
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good luck in the contest
your syllable count spot on
your few words allow the reader to see and feel that the flowers seek the sunshine but without rain they die
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
