Let's Make a Trapeze!
Millie remembers the circus.25 total reviews
Comment from amanda98653
So cute! I am so glad Cyril realized the importance of exercising at the end of the story.
suggestions:
1. "How is that for height?" he yelled down. "Does it need to be lower (or) higher?"
should be "or" instead of "of"
2. Cyril turned red and looked away(;) he was really pleased they liked it.
3. Cyril the Squirrel pushed and pushed, and the harder he pushed
omit "he"
4. Millie and Vicky were squealing with delight(;) it was just like they thought it would be. They could feel the wind in their faces(;) it was so exciting.
hugs and love
Amanda
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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So cute! I am so glad Cyril realized the importance of exercising at the end of the story.
suggestions:
1. "How is that for height?" he yelled down. "Does it need to be lower (or) higher?"
should be "or" instead of "of"
2. Cyril turned red and looked away(;) he was really pleased they liked it.
3. Cyril the Squirrel pushed and pushed, and the harder he pushed
omit "he"
4. Millie and Vicky were squealing with delight(;) it was just like they thought it would be. They could feel the wind in their faces(;) it was so exciting.
hugs and love
Amanda
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Gosh, Amanda, thank you for going back into my profile, this story is going into a book and I need it to be correct. I will change it immediately. Thank you so much for the lovely review. :) Sandra
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you're welcome, Sandra:)
big hugs
Comment from BlueFlag
Very good book for children I thought
worthy of my 5 star review
And have a very good day
1 ribbon you made it to fame next ribbon
All time best status and then Quality seal!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Very good book for children I thought
worthy of my 5 star review
And have a very good day
1 ribbon you made it to fame next ribbon
All time best status and then Quality seal!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much for your really lovely and complimentary review! I am so pleased you liked it. And a huge thank you for the 6 stars! :) xsx Sandra
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Your very welcome
Comment from Dean Kuch
Boy, ya' know, Sandra, I sure wish our daughter would come straight home from school and do her homework while it was still fresh in her mind too, and not two days later after the teacher informs us that she neglected to turn in her homework assignment from the day before. Oh, woe is me!
I loved the alliteration you've used in the characters names in this delightful children's story. Millie the Mole and Vicky the Vole, although I did have to do a bit of research to see just what a "Vole" was, exactly. I learned they're little mouse-like rodents. So see, not only did you provide me with an entertaining children's tale, I learned something out of the process as well. At my age, when I can learn something new, I count that as a good day indeed!
A wonderfully written story. The illustration by Corrina of FanArt fame was wonderful as well!
Great work.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Boy, ya' know, Sandra, I sure wish our daughter would come straight home from school and do her homework while it was still fresh in her mind too, and not two days later after the teacher informs us that she neglected to turn in her homework assignment from the day before. Oh, woe is me!
I loved the alliteration you've used in the characters names in this delightful children's story. Millie the Mole and Vicky the Vole, although I did have to do a bit of research to see just what a "Vole" was, exactly. I learned they're little mouse-like rodents. So see, not only did you provide me with an entertaining children's tale, I learned something out of the process as well. At my age, when I can learn something new, I count that as a good day indeed!
A wonderfully written story. The illustration by Corrina of FanArt fame was wonderful as well!
Great work.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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LOL, there you go, Dean. You are never too old to learn! You're not the only one who didn't know what a vole was, so don't worry. I chose the Vole because she went perfectly with the mice and mole and rat. The Squirrel added that little something extra!
I'm glad you liked it. Corrina has done all my illustrations for the Hedgerow gang, she is brilliant. Well that is your lesson for today, the next lesson will be next week!!! LOL.
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Hah ha, you are very welcome, Sandra. I'll certainly be looking forward to it! :}
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Sandra.
What a lovely story for children. Your characters are so well crafted, warm and inviting. Kids would immediately be drawn to the trees and animals, all of which are familiar. They'd enjoy the adventure and friendships. I really enjoyed the swing, which reminded me of my own childhood.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Hi, Sandra.
What a lovely story for children. Your characters are so well crafted, warm and inviting. Kids would immediately be drawn to the trees and animals, all of which are familiar. They'd enjoy the adventure and friendships. I really enjoyed the swing, which reminded me of my own childhood.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much, Rosalyne, for your lovely review! :) Sandra
Comment from Selina Stambi
Ha! That Miss Tilda Toad is quite a creature .... I would be vigilant if I were Miss Piggy!
Only minor punctutions issues. Another refreshing, delightful read, my dear Sandra. A breath of fresh air after some of the stuff I've had to plough through this evening!
Are you feeling better, my friend? How's the pain?
Thinking of you with so much love,
xxx
Sonali
I'm...sorry...can't...push...any...more(,)" Cyril wheezed.
push us higher and higher(,)" Millie the Mole
Squirrel sat up, panting(.) "I'm...not...going...to...die(,)" (h)e gasped. He took
odness...me, I'm not fit(,)" (h)e managed to say
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Ha! That Miss Tilda Toad is quite a creature .... I would be vigilant if I were Miss Piggy!
Only minor punctutions issues. Another refreshing, delightful read, my dear Sandra. A breath of fresh air after some of the stuff I've had to plough through this evening!
Are you feeling better, my friend? How's the pain?
Thinking of you with so much love,
xxx
Sonali
I'm...sorry...can't...push...any...more(,)" Cyril wheezed.
push us higher and higher(,)" Millie the Mole
Squirrel sat up, panting(.) "I'm...not...going...to...die(,)" (h)e gasped. He took
odness...me, I'm not fit(,)" (h)e managed to say
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Hello, my dear friend, thank you so much for your lovely review, and for finding those dreadful nits! I have just corrected them all. Miss Piggy wasn't at all impressed I was told. Dear me, some females get so jealous! LOL. I am so pleased you enjoyed this one. :) Sandra
If you have a spare moment, would you have a look at my poem called 'The Strike' I'm afraid there is no rewards on it now, and I do hate to ask and would quite understand if you can't. I mean that in all honesty. The reason I am asking you is, a Magazine has said they would publish it, but I want to make sure everything is perfect and you are the only one I know who could do it properly. I have been over it several times, and have had some reviewers tell me where some of them were. I want to do this right, it might help me with other works that they might be interested in. As I said, you do not have to, I know you are very busy and I know it is a bit of a cheek.
With much love to you too.
Sandra xxx
Comment from A Matter Of Words
This is such a lovely story of cooperation and friendship. Very nicely written with descriptions well suited for children. The characters so loveable.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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This is such a lovely story of cooperation and friendship. Very nicely written with descriptions well suited for children. The characters so loveable.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much for your kind review. I do appreciated your comment a lot. Thank you. xsx Sandra
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You are so very welcome, Sandra.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Sandra,
This is another delightful chapter. I was wondering if you are doing you own illustrations. Also, are you planning to publish this? Getting a traditional publisher is tough, but now-a-days there are other options.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Hi Sandra,
This is another delightful chapter. I was wondering if you are doing you own illustrations. Also, are you planning to publish this? Getting a traditional publisher is tough, but now-a-days there are other options.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Hi Lou, I don't do my illustrations, I am dreadful are drawing. CorrinasCreations, on FanArt does them for me. She is really good. My first book was part traditional, we went 50-50 on payment, but it still cost me a fortune. Now I have 2 more published and the 3rd will be out in a week or so, and the 4th won't be long after. I have probably 12 more in this series. I was very lucky, unbelievably lucky. A lady who does publishing in a small way liked my work and is now editing and publishing all my books. I write them, then pass them over. If you go with Amazon, they help you all the way. I know a few writers on FS who do that. Take a look in your favourite writers profile and look at the books they are promoting on site, they could tell you what it involves more than I could. I don't think the cost is much. The thing is, it gets your name out there and that is what you want. Good luck. :) And thank you for your lovely review! xsx Sandra
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I was just curious about your goals. My days of ambition are over. Now I'm writing strictly for my amusement and, hopefully, that of others here.
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I am heading towards 70, I still would love to become a 'known' writer before I expire! LOL. If I don't, that's ok, I just love to write. I just reviewed your limerick, it's brilliant. :)
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I'm 64 and my energy level has gone way down this past year. I used to write children's picture book stories and submit them to major N.Y.C. publishing houses. Back in the day, the industry was more receptive to unsolicited manuscripts. But it's a brutal business if the author is an unknown. Once I got a letter from an editor telling me what a charming story I wrote and then wished me good luck in selling it, lol. Okay, let's see if my latest little diddy tickled your funny bone.
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It tickled alright! LOL. I know what you mean about the publishing business, the thing is, soon everyone will self publish especially as it is easy to get on Kindle. Then they won't play so hard to get. xx
Comment from dennis0530
Just like the author, this writing woke up the child in me.
Ah, those swings - memories of childhood flying while rooted to the ground. The exhilirating feeling of the air brushing one's face. The ups and downs give the feeling like one is an astronaut orbiting the earth.
Good idea to have more in the group. Taking turns as pusher and pushed.
You got one nit - "frantically" is misspelled as "franticly."
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Just like the author, this writing woke up the child in me.
Ah, those swings - memories of childhood flying while rooted to the ground. The exhilirating feeling of the air brushing one's face. The ups and downs give the feeling like one is an astronaut orbiting the earth.
Good idea to have more in the group. Taking turns as pusher and pushed.
You got one nit - "frantically" is misspelled as "franticly."
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much, Dennis. I think my brain preferred that time of my life and keeps going back there! LOL. It was so much fun back then. It's nice to know I have taken you back to those times. An astronaut, Hmm? Now there is a dream I could really go for. Thank you for pointing out that spelling error, I have corrected it now. I am surprised my spell checker didn't spot it. Thanks again, Dennis. :) Sandra xsx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is a very well written post. I am wondering what age group you are thinking about??? The characters are likable and the story moved at a good pace.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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This is a very well written post. I am wondering what age group you are thinking about??? The characters are likable and the story moved at a good pace.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Hi Barbara, thank you so much for your lovely review. I think they are put out for 2-6 years old. But it varies, not much but a little. I have been taking my books round the primary schools, with 4 - 6 year olds, and do reading to them. I love that part as they interact with me. Always asking questions. I also have grandchildren I test them on. That isn't such fun! LOL. Thank you again, for your review and interest. :) Sandra
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of natural-sounding dialogue
these continue to be such delightful creatures
Cyril turned red and looked away, he - I would make that a period or a semicolon
I like his turning red as a good instance of non-verbal communication
his gasping and wheezing also lends to the atmosphere
a fun adventure for your friends :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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excellent use of natural-sounding dialogue
these continue to be such delightful creatures
Cyril turned red and looked away, he - I would make that a period or a semicolon
I like his turning red as a good instance of non-verbal communication
his gasping and wheezing also lends to the atmosphere
a fun adventure for your friends :-) Brooke
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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AW, Thank you, Brooke, I am pleased you liked it. :) Sandra
