OUT OF THE BLUE. (Shot at Dawn. pt1)
The forgotten ones.36 total reviews
Comment from Muffins
I can feel this confused young man's pain. Of course, back them no one knew about PTSD. The generals did not seem to take much account into the psychological health of their man, some who where just kids.
This narrative shimmers with truth, fear and honesty about what one feels about the choices they made. The suspense of the final act and how this brave young man will face it sparks enough voltage to make a reader want to research this story themselves. This is a well- crafted piece.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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I can feel this confused young man's pain. Of course, back them no one knew about PTSD. The generals did not seem to take much account into the psychological health of their man, some who where just kids.
This narrative shimmers with truth, fear and honesty about what one feels about the choices they made. The suspense of the final act and how this brave young man will face it sparks enough voltage to make a reader want to research this story themselves. This is a well- crafted piece.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you Muffins, for your kind review. I'm pleased you liked it.
:) mel.
Comment from MIKECON
Nice piece that had a storyline which makes you stop and think how lucky we are today.Thanks to them guys we are here today.Cant wait for the conclusion a joy to read.Well done
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Nice piece that had a storyline which makes you stop and think how lucky we are today.Thanks to them guys we are here today.Cant wait for the conclusion a joy to read.Well done
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thank you MIKECON, for your kind review.
:) mel.
Comment from Raphael Montonaro
Yes....I could feel the pain in this. Realistic war story of no turning back. Very well written. Good form and content
Great job!
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Yes....I could feel the pain in this. Realistic war story of no turning back. Very well written. Good form and content
Great job!
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thank you Raphael, for your kind review.
:) mel.
Comment from dreamin'
It's no wonder this is an All Time Best. You absolutely nailed this young man's thought process. What happened to those 306 is appalling.
Sometimes I wonder if there aren't some who join just to be able to exact their own twisted since of justice. I believe that has happened in every war, and most likely still does.
Favorite lines - hard to choose, but these resonated so true to the state of mind and the language itself.
"Expected a sentence of six months in the glass-house. Got that wrong, didn't I?" A grim, high pitched laugh escaped my lips..."
"...tin plate with bully beef, and overcooked carrots, cabbage and potato lay cold by my bed."
Having a kind sergeant as a guard relieves some of the stress for not only Private Baker, but also for the reader. He adds a sense of humanity.
Well done. I am going now to PT 2. Thank you for telling this story.
Debbie
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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It's no wonder this is an All Time Best. You absolutely nailed this young man's thought process. What happened to those 306 is appalling.
Sometimes I wonder if there aren't some who join just to be able to exact their own twisted since of justice. I believe that has happened in every war, and most likely still does.
Favorite lines - hard to choose, but these resonated so true to the state of mind and the language itself.
"Expected a sentence of six months in the glass-house. Got that wrong, didn't I?" A grim, high pitched laugh escaped my lips..."
"...tin plate with bully beef, and overcooked carrots, cabbage and potato lay cold by my bed."
Having a kind sergeant as a guard relieves some of the stress for not only Private Baker, but also for the reader. He adds a sense of humanity.
Well done. I am going now to PT 2. Thank you for telling this story.
Debbie
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much Debbie, for your positive review, and your six stars.
Kind regards :) mel.
Comment from Nosha17
The injustices of war that allows heroes to be disregarded, shameful, I agree. Well chosen words in the narrative and descriptions. Good to write about these things, so one does not forget. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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The injustices of war that allows heroes to be disregarded, shameful, I agree. Well chosen words in the narrative and descriptions. Good to write about these things, so one does not forget. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you Faye, for your kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed my story.
:) mel.
Comment from gen83
I loved reading this, you did a great job at portraying his emotions, i felt terrified while reading it. thank you for reminding us about the ones forgotten.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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I loved reading this, you did a great job at portraying his emotions, i felt terrified while reading it. thank you for reminding us about the ones forgotten.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you gen83, for your kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed my writing,
:) mel.
Comment from Cian Mateo
This was excellent!
Wonderful character development, I thought. Not only that of the main character, but that of the prison guard and Lt., as well.
The storyline flowed nicely, making for an interesting and easy read. The emotion was real. My heart missed several beats, and I lost my appetite, too--right along with Private Baker.
Thank you for sharing a bit of history. I look forward to reading part two.
Cian
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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This was excellent!
Wonderful character development, I thought. Not only that of the main character, but that of the prison guard and Lt., as well.
The storyline flowed nicely, making for an interesting and easy read. The emotion was real. My heart missed several beats, and I lost my appetite, too--right along with Private Baker.
Thank you for sharing a bit of history. I look forward to reading part two.
Cian
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you Cian, for your kind review. I'm glad you liked it.
:) mel.
Comment from thedreampeddler
No need to tell you how good this is, right. You have to know that you are as good a writer as any. You just have a knack for character creation and development, I suppose.
Outstanding work.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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No need to tell you how good this is, right. You have to know that you are as good a writer as any. You just have a knack for character creation and development, I suppose.
Outstanding work.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much dp, I'm pleased you liked my story. I don't see myself like that, I just try to improve every time I write.
:) mel.
Comment from James Dooney
Oh yes, they love to put them down at dawn. I would also hazard a guess about what goes through their minds that is must be surreal indeed.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Oh yes, they love to put them down at dawn. I would also hazard a guess about what goes through their minds that is must be surreal indeed.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you James, for your kind review.
:) mel.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent WWI saga, write hand blue. The mental musings of the main protagonist,Private Robert Baker, in this well written story felt genuine, and read realistically. As you say, it would be hard to be branded a coward, especially when you felt as if you weren't. It's also hard to gauge, exactly, the sorts of thoughts that run through a condemned man's mind. However, I felt you did an exemplary job doing all of this, and the mechanism of making Baker keep asking the duty Sergeant for the time increased the tension as the doomed private's execution drew inexorably closer.
Very well done, an excellent historical drama.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Excellent WWI saga, write hand blue. The mental musings of the main protagonist,Private Robert Baker, in this well written story felt genuine, and read realistically. As you say, it would be hard to be branded a coward, especially when you felt as if you weren't. It's also hard to gauge, exactly, the sorts of thoughts that run through a condemned man's mind. However, I felt you did an exemplary job doing all of this, and the mechanism of making Baker keep asking the duty Sergeant for the time increased the tension as the doomed private's execution drew inexorably closer.
Very well done, an excellent historical drama.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you Dean, for your kind review.
The remaining members of 'Monty Python' performed together for the first time in forty years. The tickets at the O2 theater sold out in forty four seconds.
I like the way they portray our army of old, as a bunch of loonies. (lunatics)
This is an appropriate picture. Can't say nice because of the
subject. But it does look real and shocking.
I admire your computer skills, I have been trying for hours to put a picture up so I can show part two.
:) mel.
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I'm a huge Monty Python's Flying Circus fan, and have all their seasons shows on DVD, as well as The Search for the Holy Grail, and the Meaning of Life. They're all comedic geniuses in my book!
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They are indeed...
